My first time here!

My first time here!
K

Kennedy1969

Registrant
This is my first time here. I'm going through a difficult time in my life right now. My 3 year relationship is suffering from my episodes of emotionally shutting down and create a wall of silence. I have not been faithful and among my many problems I seem be a sexual addict. I was sexually abused starting at the age of 8 years old. This abuse happened quite a bit by several male relatives for many years. At the age of 36 I have never dealt with my issues. For all of my adult life I lived the life of a "player." I now have someone in my life who loves my greatly, but I am not sure how to love anyone, let alone MYSELF!
 
welcome. i thought i was a sex addict when i first started, but as i have dealt with my abuse issues sex has just kind of lost a lot of power. i think i was using it to escape, to cope and to make me feel good when inside i didnt feel so good. it didnt happen over night, but it did happen. i hope you find this place and these guys as helpful as i did.
 
I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time with things. I've only been here since yesterday and I was reluctant but I have to say, it's a great place to be if you need help.

I don't have any useful advice for you but I can tell you that I know exactly how you feel about not being able to love anyone, not being able to love yourself and I'm sorry you're feeling this way.

I hope you find what you need...

Jay
 
Kennedy,

Welcome to Male Survivor. You will find a lot of understanding caring guys here and they will have a lot to say about the sort of issues you mention in your post.

Can I just say to you don't get too down on yourself about where you are at the moment. It isn't uncommon at all for a survivor to close down emotionally, as you seem to have done. It's one of the ways an abused boy protects himself and survives from one episode to the next.

And life as a player? Also very common. A boy who has been taught that sex is about using other people may find it difficult to pursue a real relationship later on as an adult. Perhaps he doesn't mean to be a player, but he has no trust in others or faith in himself as a possible partner. The fear of taking the risk and being devastated all over again is just too great.

There are ways past all this, as I am sure you will see here. Do stick around; it's good to have you.

Much love,
Larry
 
Kennedy,

Welcome, Friend. Sorry there is a need for a place like this and that you find yourself needing it as well. Glad you found us though.

In your post, you described what so many of us recognize as one of the biggest problems resulting from our abuse, the emotional switch that has been thrown in the off position for so many years. I never knew it was even off till one day I read something and the switch got thrown the other way without warning. Let me tell you, that was not fun. I was in a state of near perpetual tears for months till I finally got the courage to seek counseling. Then I found this place. Both have been a tremendous help to me in gaining a healthy perspective on my abuse and my reaction to it. It's been a bit of a slow learning curve, but maybe that's the way it needs to be in order for the recovery to have maximum effect.

Hang around here, My Friend. Post when you want to or just lurk and read other's posts. You may also want to register for the chat room and visit with the guys in there. Most importantly, relax and just get to know us. We'll do the same with you.

Lots of love,

John
 
Kennedy,

Welcome, glad you found us. Find a good therapist to help with your healing. don't be to hard on yourself, but also try and find ways to stop doing things that are harmful to you.
 
Kennedy, it is good to have you here. You will find that many of us have the same signs and symptoms you have or are experiencing. Stay with us, it helps just knowing you are not alone and having others to talk to that understand what you are going through.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top