My first "T" appointment and my bad dream

[Grunty1967b]

Ive finally been able to find a therapist and I have an appointment in 2 weeks time. Im scared but at the same time also wishing it were sooner. Im really wondering how Im going to last until then as I feel Ive moved into a state of depression. Ive never been like this before our felt like this before, but as my wife so wisely said the other day, Ive probably never felt much of anything before as Ive been a master of suppression.

All of this is clearly weighing on my mind as I had a rather disturbing and realistic dream last night.

I was going to type it out but I dont think it will serve any purpose and will probably only cause distress to many of you reading it and I dont want to do that.

Anyway, I woke up feeling very upset, couldnt bring myself to tell my wife about the dream so I just did my usual distancing thing until I recovered (somewhat). Im not going to get into dream analysis and what it means. Basically, my impending appointment with a therapist must be on my mind but Im not going to let bad dreams stop me. I anxiously look forward to my first appointment.

 

[Anderson]

Great move, getting that appointment. As a guy who's seen therapists, I just want to encourage you to go and 'stick with it'. Choosing a therapist is a very personal act. It's important that you have a 'good fit'. I'm not sure I can define "good fit"; I just know that it may take going to a few before you find the 'right one' for you. As a matter of fact, you may want to tell your psych that you are new to this and would like some advice on establishing a relationship and how to go about finding the 'right' therapist.

Sometimes therapists may suggest you take a written psych 'inventory' of some kind. My experience (I took the "Myers-Briggs" Personality test) was that it 'speeded things up' by helping my psychologist learn some things about me right away, and it helped get me started talking. It helped me gain a 'comfort level', as well.

So, do keep that appointment. Don't expect instant 'fixes' and do 'keep looking' if the first therapist doesn't seem to be your cup of tea.

As for myself, I'm just wishing I were able to get back into therapy. I've got a serious unemployment problem, and in the US insurance is expensive and often does provides only minimal short-term therapy assistance.

You've started on a great journey! Best wishes!

Anderson / California

Originally posted by Grunty1967b:
[QB] Ive finally been able to find a therapist and I have an appointment in 2 weeks time. Im scared but at the same time also wishing it were sooner. Im really wondering how Im going to last

 

[WalkingSouth]

Hi Burce,

You sound like me when I got my first appointment.

Ive finally been able to find a therapist and I have an appointment in 2 weeks time. Im scared but at the same time also wishing it were sooner. Im really wondering how Im going to last until then as I feel Ive moved into a state of depression. Ive never been like this before our felt like this before, but as my wife so wisely said the other day, Ive probably never felt much of anything before as Ive been a master of suppression.

Your wife was spot on buddy. That is exactly the way it is. Welcome to the world of "feelings" my friend. It has advantages and dissadvantages when you look at it from the viewpoint of someone who has been abused. We learned all to well how to run and hide from our feelings becuase they brought with them so much unwanted pain.

Now, looking at it from the viewpoint of a survivor I have to learn how to integrate the feelings into my everyday life, learning what they mean to me and how to place them where they belong. I am beginning to love this new life of "feelings". I don't know how I survived so long without them. Not to well I guess.

I will be sending good thoughts your way as you take this next big step along the path to wholeness. Keep us posted on how things go.

Courage my friend,

John

 

[roadrunner]

Bruce,

I know how you feel about dreams! I often think, sheesh, what would Freud do with that one???!!!

You are anxious about seeing the T, as any of us are when we start down that road. I didn't even want to keep my appointment with my doctor when I first told her about what I was experiencing, and she told me: "Bravo! You came for your appointment at least. Many patients don't do that."

Fuck Freud . Keep the appointment - you will be okay. We'll be thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way.

Much love,
Larry