My disclosure (light triggers)

My disclosure (light triggers)
B

Bill_h_pike

Registrant
A few days I posted a message about how i was abused by a scout leader a few years ago and needed help but wasn't ready to disclose to my parents. I called up one of those youth hotline you guys recommend and decided the best thing to do would be to simply tell my parents. I had a long, tearfull discussion with my mom + dad last night and feel like I have had a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. It's nice to be able to do stuff without constantly thinking about my past.

I have an appointment on monday with the DA. I know my perp has some child porn of me so hopefully he'll just plea guilty becasue I think testifying will be very hard on me. I'm in a different scout troop now since my parents moved so hopefully I can continue without everyone knowing about my past.

I read this site for about a year without posting anything and from the number of unregistered guests that are always listed as being here I know their must be alot of others doing the same. I know that at least some of them must be teens like me. I really encourage anyone in a similar situation to just take care of it. If you need help, just call one of the youth hotlines and the people there will give you some real good stratagies to disclose.
 
Bill,

I am very pleased that things have turned out like they have for you. It seems as if things went well. Good for you, my friend. It brought tears to my eyes when you said
I had a long, tearfull discussion with my mom + dad last night and feel like I have had a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. It's nice to be able to do stuff without constantly thinking about my past.
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I wish you the best with the DA and the results of that action. Just remember that you have us here for support and encouragement if you need us.

Let us know how things go.

Safe hugs,

John
 
Ditto - We are all here to support you if you need us. We have all been through similar things and will all try to give you the encouragement and support you need.
 
Bill,

That was a brave move, and one of the most important decisions of your life, as you will gradually come to realize.

When you see the authorities it will be another rough day, but perhaps it would be help you to be prepared. You will be spoken to by a person trained in such cases involving teenagers, and you should be treated with sensitivity and respect. No one will just blurt out gross questions.

Can I make some suggestions?

1. Of course go with one or both of your parents, but be prepared for a few times when you will have to be separated. They have to do that, but you can ask that your parent(s) still be in sight.

2. Would you be more comfortable with a man or woman officer? If you think that might make a difference, let the DA's office know ahead of time.

3. The whole process may take some time, so take a drink and a few games or something to read, depending what you like. Do you have a favorite stuffed animal? If so, TAKE him :) . Yeah, yeah, I know, but stick him in your backpack and take him anyway. (LOTS of the grownups here have stuffed animals, by the way; mine is a fluffy cuddly dog.)

4. If you start to feel scared or freaked out and need a break, that's fine. Just say so and they will stop for awhile.

5. In the interview you may notice that you are being asked the same things more than once. That's not because they don't believe you; it's because they are anxious to get the story absolutely right.

6. If you lose it and start to cry, don't feel ashamed. You are doing something very brave and as you tell the story there will be a lot of emotion to let out. Just let it go. It's okay and the officers will have seen this before. Everyone will understand. A lot of the grownups here still cry every time they see their T; I sure do.

7. You will be making an official statement, and because of that they will ask you for information in pretty exact terms. What I mean, Bill, is that they will probably need for you to tell them exactly what the abuser did. That will be rough, sure, but just say it and you will be finished. Do remember that NONE of this was your fault.

Let us know how it goes, okay? And again, you should be very proud of yourself. You are doing something that will make a big difference in your life and probably in the lives of other teens that the abuser will not be able to hurt in the future.

Much love,
Larry
 
BIll,

This is very good news. You may not appreciate this now, but you have great courage, and I salute you.

I am also very impressed that you have reached out at this time and offered advice to any other young survivors here.

I hope that you will keep us informed how things progress, how you feel about it all, and how you cope with the rough spots.

With great respect,
Donald
 
It takes a lot of strength to move forward. The end result will be a good one even it it hurts to get there. I am glad you did not hide it for 25 years like I did. I carried that weight for way to long.

I am proud of you
 
Well done - stay strong!

Best wishes ...Rik
 
I went to the DA's office today. I must have spent a good four hours there. My parents didn't ask for all the details but I had to recite them all today. I had to desribe every incident that I had spent the last 4 years trying to forget. I never knew I could cry so much. They said that they would try to file charges in the next few days. I pray to god they can get him soon.
 
((((Bill))))

You've done an very brave thing with no guarantee's it'll come out OK. I just want to honor that. You're an incredible young man.

I'll sure be thinking good thought for you over the next few days.

Safe hugs,

John
 
Bill,

Thanks for getting back to us about how things went at the DA's office. It was to be expected that you would cry and I hope you feel okay about that. No one here could have done what you did without shedding a lot of tears.

You may be wondering if these details will get out. The answer is no. Your case will not be another Michael Jackson fiasco. Legal constraints mean that your identity will be protected.

I bet you had no idea it would be this hard, but look at it this way. The man who abused you was betting that you would be too scared to report him and fight back. Bad news for him now! By taking the brave step of telling your parents and reporting him you are not only laying the foundations for your own recovery, you are also helping to save so many boys in the future that he might otherwise have gone on to hurt.

We are all so proud of you.

Much love,
Larry
 
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