My Childhood Best-friend

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My Childhood Best-friend

ShySalt

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His name was Daniel and he had black hair , he was slightly on the bigger side but not fat in anyway. I can't tell if I'm scared of him because of what he did or because of this built up image I've made of him in the past few years as a malevolent sadist who ruined my life, the latter thought partners the idea of my conjuration of him being fictional, the former is what I hope to be true.

He never felt authentic when I was around him, his whole personality never seemed like HIM, he always seemed to have a facade on. It's very strange. My other best friends I've had they've had quirks, imperfections, but not him. He didn't have any quirks, or likeable imperfections, or a unique personality, he was Dan, a polite boy that was well mannered and brought up in a similar way to me.

I can remember him saying "We take this to our graves" whilst we were in bed one night.

He got me to insert objects in my anus at the age of 8. He would later penetrate me at the age of 12.

He got me drunk. He pretended to drink wine whilst I was drinking it and getting drunk.

The night he got me drunked he started kissing me. I can remember I didn't enjoy this at all, the way he tasted his lips, wasn't nice.

He would come round my house excited to try new sexual positions with me.

We had oral sex mainly and we also did anus things but I was young and he wouldn't show me how to do anal. He just stuck it in the night he got me drunk and it really hurt.

We had oral sex and fondled each other for years, weekly.
He left me, cut me off when I hit puberty.

Fast forward when I was 18, he asked to come round my flat and sleepover. I was dizzied and smoked so much that night it sent me into psychosis. I spent three months in a psych ward. I came out, had a year of recovery, and went back into Psychosis as he was my next door neighbour and seeing his car outside gave me flashbacks.

I went to the psych ward again for a further 3 months. I am now 21 years old. I am not surviving... I am heavily medicated, failing my college course and get suicidal thinking about him weekly.

Sorry this story wasn't more chronological.
 
I changed his name and features. I found this helpful while I was writing but fictionalised it after overview.
 
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