My Brother

My Brother
M

MDR

Registrant
Was up thinking last night, pretty unusual for me, lol. However, my bro used to beat me repeatedly when I was a kid. I'm not talking about the usual big brother crap. He was a mean SOB who used to take all of his shit out on me. He would embarrass me and beat me at will. Along with CSA and his actions, I can now see why my self esteem has been lowered. Does this make sense? I'm going to confront him one day about this. Not now. Thoughts????
 
i agree it would destroy your esteem. work with your therapist as far as confronting others, and dont get your hopes up too high. unfortunately, people that are a-holes are going to be that way until they die in most cases. even being confronted they tend to see what they want to see.
 
Phoster,

The prick even jokes about it sometimes. "I didn't beat you to bad when we were young, I was pretty cool to you and protected you a couple of times from older kids."

He's a big dude my bro. 6-2, 225lbs. I'm not that small. 6-1, 200lbs. I used to box in high school and would like to take everything out on him now. However, I'm to old for that crap. I have a huge resentment against him and I will pray about it. Don't want to see him for a long time now.
 
you have a right to resent him, and for not wanting to see him. if isnt sorry for what he did, and remains unchanged, you dont owe him anything. i know people like him. they really dont even see thier own evil. they see the world the way they want.

i hope you find a way to release it. that is ultimately what you need to heal. you dont have to like him or be part of his life. you just have to make peace inside.
 
My older brother did the same to me, it was terrible to think of the things he did.
Now I am too big for his big mouth to hurt, and now I am going to give a little bit back,

Do the same,

ste
 
I've given back using my mouth. Now I want to use my fists. He's a piece of shit. Selfish and doesn't care about anybody else. My nephews are my heart and soul right now. They are only 5 and 3. Love those kids. That's the only reason I see my brother is becasue of my nephews.
 
tell me he is not their father please .
 
Yes, he is their father. He loves his kids and treats them well. I guess he's grown up, I don't know. Still can't stand the bastard.
 
so you think he's changed ?
 
MDR,

I had a cousin like that. He's the one who tried to screw me at the sand pit, used to make fun of me on the way to school, pushed me around and was the butt of a lot of his jokes. He started a fight on the way to school, so I took out my jackknife and hit him on the head and ran like hell. He stopped after that. This was in grade school, 6th grade. He is dead from snorting coke and sucking up vodka. He was found dead by his son. He died alone and stoned. God have mercy on his soul.

froggy12
 
It makes a lot of sense. All kinds of abuse can diminish our self esteem. Mental, emotional, physical, sexual. All of it is trauma, and disregard and disrespect for us and our boundaries. If we are creatures who do not even deserve safe boundaries, of course we will think worse on ourselves. I hope that you will be able to find stronger faith and belief in yourself.

Leosha
 
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