Music. What are your songs? (recovery, depression, happiness, anything)

The Call--I Still Believe

 
I grew up right outside NYC, pretty much a city kid and somehow I got hooked on classic Country, I mean shit-kicken drinking music from a step mom who constantly was flipping thru car radio stations. I grew up surrounded by alcoholism and my abuser was a drunk's, drunk so I hate(d) being around drinking but somehow I found this music soothing to my hurting young mind & soul back in the day and I still do. As a child I so much identified with all the hurt & misery in the music and with me not being able to articulate my own pain in words, this pain filled music spoke for me. My #1 artist for this was George Jones, his " He Stopped Loving Her Today" was my all time favorite, “If Drinkin’ Don’t Kill Me (Her Memory Will)”, "Two Story House"... There are a lot of other Country artists & sad songs in my hit parade. I used to drive my older brother crazy when I'd start up my stereo as a kid, even threats of an ass kicking didn't stop me. I was the only one of my friends with a car at 17 so my friends were tortured by my Country music too and did they bust balls over it too, but my car, my music :) They all would drone on about how depressing it was, "how can you listen to that crap???" My oldest Son hates my Country music because it's depressing, as he says. I warned him that someday when dear old dad is long gone that he was gonna find himself playing it too to remember both me and the good old days... Decades later my older brother even turned on to it.
 
This song dates back from the spring of my senior year of high school. It’s heavy on “the feels,” and not the type of lyrics most adolescent males visibly respond to, but I definitely heard what’s being said and adapted it at the time I was making the jump from high school to college…also a time when I was secretly dealing with CSA in some not-so-healthy ways.

It’s a song about fitting in and facing adulthood and adult things..maybe a few unknown demons while wishing you just had the familiar old kid fears of monsters in the closet…and maybe hinting that not all kid fears are innocent. The last line, “Hey kids, hold on” is a stark warning.
What’s more, the Indigo Girls are my neighbors…quite literally.

Will

Indigo Girls w/guest vocals by Michael Stipe of R.E.M.


Pain from pearls, hey little girl
How much have you grown?
Pain from pearls, hey little girl
Flowers for the ones you've known
Are you on fire
From the years?
What would you give for your
Kid fears?
Secret staircase (secret staircase), running high (running high)
You had a hiding place
Secret staircase (secret staircase), running low (running low)
They all know, now you're inside
Are you on fire
From the years?
What would you give for your
Kid fears?
Kid fears
Skipping stones, we know the price now
Any sin will do
How much further, if you can spin
How much further, if you are smooth
Are you on fire (are you on fire)
From the years? (from the years)
What would you give for your
Kid fears?
Replace the rent with the stars above
Replace the need with love
Replace the anger with the tide
Replace the ones, the ones, the ones, that you love
The ones that you love
Are you on fire
From the years?
What would you give for your
Kid fears?
Are you on fire
From the years
What would you give for your
Kid fears
What would you give for your
Kid fears
What would you give for your
Kid fears
You can't feel
Hey kids…
Hold on
 

This is a heavy song, so even if you don't like this type of music I encourage you to turn down the volume & read the lyrics as they appear on the screen. Very relatable, at least for me.
 
Unatempestad said:
"Love is not a victory march, its a cold and broken hallelujah."

I'm always searching for love. I'm drained, physically, mentally, and emotionally. In these moments I need God the most, I cry a cold and broken hallelujah.

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here's a version of that song with the lyrics written for a Good Friday service and yeah, that sounds like a bad idea, but it's crazy moving and one of the duet is the amazing Heather Headley. About 3:30 there's this bridge where the only word they sing is Hallelujah and it's the first time I've ever heard that as a lament. It'll hit deep.

 
BelovedSon said:
@GonnaBalright Great lyrics.

I cracked up seeing that album cover. Bryan Duncan totally has the Michael W. Smith early 1990's vibe going on there with the jacket and hair. Man I miss those days. Micheal and Amy Grant were coming out with great music then. So many awesome concerts with friends. I am surprised how much I enjoyed just seeing that picture and listening to the song. I need to go back and watch some of the old MWS and Amy Grant concerts on YouTube.
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Same
 
Wow this thread is a great collection of music. One song that always gets me thinking more deeply is Disturbed's cover of Sound of Silence. Its an emotional video and rendition.

 
Joik is an old form of singing where there's not words, the singer sings sounds that convey feelings and spirit, in this the loss of his best friend

Daniel's Joik

 
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Thomas85 said:
Wow this thread is a great collection of music. One song that always gets me thinking more deeply is Disturbed's cover of Sound of Silence. Its an emotional video and rendition.

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i love this version of the song i didnt know of this band but on a whim while browsing youtube i clicked on it at 1st look at the singer i almost turned it off but im glad i didnt this rendition really grabbed my attention the video is really powerful and is now one of my favorite videos.
 
betrayed boy said:
i love this version of the song i didnt know of this band but on a whim while browsing youtube i clicked on it at 1st look at the singer i almost turned it off but im glad i didnt this rendition really grabbed my attention the video is really powerful and is now one of my favorite videos.
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Thanks Betrayed Boy I love this version too and there is a live version from Conan that is amazing.
 
Unatempestad said:
I’m creating this thread to share music that helps me in my recovery. Music is an outlet for my problems.

A personal favorite: River by Leon Bridges.

This song hits me hard. It encompasses many parts of my life including my trauma. He starts by saying that he’s “been traveling these wide roads for so long.” I am reaching my 30’s, but ever since my youth, I have felt tired with life because of my depression and anxiety. My abuse made me older in every sense of the word. I remember being 12 and telling a teacher that I had been living for too long and she said “you have your entire life ahead of you.” She was right, but it wasn’t the normal life without trauma that I wanted. At that age, I became more aware of my trauma. My pain made me colder and lonelier.

He goes on to say “my heart’s been far, from you ten-thousand miles long.” That is when everything changed, and I started to learn about God; I realized how far from Him I was and I wanted to be closer to Him. I wanted to draw close to Him and give him “every part of me” but there “was blood on my hands” and my “lips [weren’t] clean.” I have always felt dirty about my life because of my abuse. I created self-destructive habits which worsened my feelings. But in that “darkness, momma’s words reoccur[ed] to me, “surrender to the good Lord, and he’ll wipe your slate clean.” My mom has always been there for me, and I love her. She doesn’t know what happened to me. I could never tell her because it will break her heart and she has been through enough. She has always wanted me to have relationship with God, in that sense I said “take me to your river, I wanna go.” This goes into topics such as baptism, sin, forgiveness, and love. The way he sings the song feels like its coming from my insides, my stomach, my gut, my heart, everything. Hope you guys enjoy the song.

The first video is just the song, and the second is the music video. Ironically, I had no idea there was a music video since I use Spotify.



Lyrics:

Been traveling these wide roads for so long
My heart's been far from you
Ten-thousand miles gone
Oh, I wanna come near and give ya
Every part of me
But there's blood on my hands
And my lips aren't clean
In my darkness I remember
Momma's words reoccur to me
"Surrender to the good Lord
And he'll wipe your slate clean"
Take me to your river
I wanna go
Oh, go on
Take me to your river
I wanna know
Tip me in your smooth waters
I go in
As a man with many crimes
Come up for air
As my sins flow down the Jordan
Oh, I wanna come near and give ya
Every part of me
But there's blood on my hands
And my lips aren't clean
Take me to your river
I wanna go
Go on,
Take me to your river
I wanna…

Feel free to share your own songs.
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I have many, especially choral works by Bach, and others, and sung by boy choirs. I too was in a choir in highschool, I loved it, a great escape. I do have a few others which when I remember what they are, I will post them here someplace.
 
Disturbed's Sound of Silence is THE. BEST. COVER. EVER. The video, the voice, the lyrics, the song. . . sooo good.

Two songs that have been companions moving ahead. The 1st I had posted on the Spirituality forum, it's pretty raw but so is remembering. First verse of the lyrics:

Will I fall or will I misstep?
Will I fall or will I misstep?
Will I call you with my last breathe?
Will you be there for me after?
Will I waste inside the silence
Where the fear is fucking violent?
Wicked sinner thrown to lions
With no hope on the horizon
Will I fall or will I misstep?


The other is instrumental and it's so peaceful.

 
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