Music. What are your songs? (recovery, depression, happiness, anything)

Unatempestad

Registrant
I’m creating this thread to share music that helps me in my recovery. Music is an outlet for my problems.

A personal favorite: River by Leon Bridges.

This song hits me hard. It encompasses many parts of my life including my trauma. He starts by saying that he’s “been traveling these wide roads for so long.” I am reaching my 30’s, but ever since my youth, I have felt tired with life because of my depression and anxiety. My abuse made me older in every sense of the word. I remember being 12 and telling a teacher that I had been living for too long and she said “you have your entire life ahead of you.” She was right, but it wasn’t the normal life without trauma that I wanted. At that age, I became more aware of my trauma. My pain made me colder and lonelier.

He goes on to say “my heart’s been far, from you ten-thousand miles long.” That is when everything changed, and I started to learn about God; I realized how far from Him I was and I wanted to be closer to Him. I wanted to draw close to Him and give him “every part of me” but there “was blood on my hands” and my “lips [weren’t] clean.” I have always felt dirty about my life because of my abuse. I created self-destructive habits which worsened my feelings. But in that “darkness, momma’s words reoccur[ed] to me, “surrender to the good Lord, and he’ll wipe your slate clean.” My mom has always been there for me, and I love her. She doesn’t know what happened to me. I could never tell her because it will break her heart and she has been through enough. She has always wanted me to have relationship with God, in that sense I said “take me to your river, I wanna go.” This goes into topics such as baptism, sin, forgiveness, and love. The way he sings the song feels like its coming from my insides, my stomach, my gut, my heart, everything. Hope you guys enjoy the song.

The first video is just the song, and the second is the music video. Ironically, I had no idea there was a music video since I use Spotify.



Lyrics:

Been traveling these wide roads for so long
My heart's been far from you
Ten-thousand miles gone
Oh, I wanna come near and give ya
Every part of me
But there's blood on my hands
And my lips aren't clean
In my darkness I remember
Momma's words reoccur to me
"Surrender to the good Lord
And he'll wipe your slate clean"
Take me to your river
I wanna go
Oh, go on
Take me to your river
I wanna know
Tip me in your smooth waters
I go in
As a man with many crimes
Come up for air
As my sins flow down the Jordan
Oh, I wanna come near and give ya
Every part of me
But there's blood on my hands
And my lips aren't clean
Take me to your river
I wanna go
Go on,
Take me to your river
I wanna…

Feel free to share your own songs.
 
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One love, one blood, one life,
You've got to do what you should.
One life with each other: sisters, brothers.
One life, but we're not the same.
We get to carry each other, carry each other.
One, one...

 

Unatempestad

Registrant
One love, one blood, one life,
You've got to do what you should.
One life with each other: sisters, brothers.
One life, but we're not the same.
We get to carry each other, carry each other.
One, one...


This one is on my playlist, this line gets me every time: “it’s too late tonight, to drag out the past into the light.” It reminds me of all the times I would have loved to tell a friend or a family member what happened. But I never did. It was too late to bring that past into the light. Good pick!
 
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we get to carry each other, carry each other...
 
Wow, never heard the sing River before until now. That is a cool song!
 
Touch me, take me to that other place
Teach me love, I know I'm not a hopeless case

What you don't have, you don't need it now
What you don't know, you can feel it somehow
What you don't have, you don't need it now
You don't need it now...

 
And as you pray in your darkness for wings to set you free,, you are bound by your silent legacy.

As she repeats these words over and over I can definitely relate, feeling so alone in this struggle. I have attempted many times to reach out to people in the church to deal with these tendencies, only to regret it. I have been gossiped about because I was caught with gay porn on my computer by some family, and instead of trying to get me help, they went and 'prayed about it' out loud at a prayer meeting (more like gossip instead of prayer). I have been caught staring at other guys and gotten teased and more gossip. Many times my inner struggles would get me in trouble with such stuff, and I would go home on my knees many times, praying to God for help and for healing.....and here I am still carrying the same burdens. But the first time i heard this song, back in the 90s, i decided that i want to be vocal about it

 
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These are mine:




 
Ok here is one more, a song an inspirational piece. The lyrics suggest Mr Duncan could be a survivor of some type of abuse, but he as never claimed it, as far as I know. I do have issues with some church people, but not with God. This song still brings tears to my eyes, in that even though we do not understand why God allows such things to happen, we can find comfort in knowing that He cares.

 
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@GonnaBalright Great lyrics.

I cracked up seeing that album cover. Bryan Duncan totally has the Michael W. Smith early 1990's vibe going on there with the jacket and hair. Man I miss those days. Micheal and Amy Grant were coming out with great music then. So many awesome concerts with friends. I am surprised how much I enjoyed just seeing that picture and listening to the song. I need to go back and watch some of the old MWS and Amy Grant concerts on YouTube.
 

Unatempestad

Registrant
My second song: Snaggletooth by Vance Joy

I don't know anyone with a snaggletooth (maybe I haven't paid attention) but there are other features we sometimes fall in love with: the person's smile, their hair, reactions to stories, or anything.

I like the beginning, "waiting for you baby, through the coldest days." I don't have anyone to call my own right now, but in the future I want to meet the woman I'll call my wife. I want to cry when I hold her hands and tell her everything that has happened. One of my fears of dating is that I'll tell my partner what happened and for some reason she will be scared of me or want to end the relationship.

Sometimes I don't know how to act in social situations, I zone out and I start thinking about negative things, including my abuse. I ask myself "do you know how I feel? do you know what I mean?" I hope my therapist can help me overcome this habit. Hope you guys like this song:

lyrics version:


Acoustic version:



lyrics:

Waiting for you baby
Through the coldest days
Huddled in the backseat of the van
And I know a girl who
Would wait until it's dark
When she sings the heavens part
They part
Ooh
And I held my ground
When I heard those sounds
Coming out
And I must have cried
When I held those hands
So do you know what I mean
So do you know how I feel
So do you know what I mean
Baby don't you know that
I love your snaggletooth
I see it poking when you laugh
And baby don't you know that
I love those pigeon toes
I hope that you get these pigeon lungs
Lung
Ooh
And I held my ground
When I heard those sounds
Coming out
And I must have cried
When I held those hands
So do you know what I mean
So do you know how I feel
So do you know what I mean
And I will try my best
To take this big old hen
And I will know his name
And always feel the same
And I'll light up so bright
Any orange glow
And I'll light so bright
Any orange glow
Glow
Ooh
And I held my ground
When I heard those sounds
Coming out
And I must have cried
When I held those hands
So do you know what I mean
So do you know how I feel
So do you know So do you know
So do you know So do you know
So do you know So do you know
So do you know So do you know
So do you know what I feel
And as you pray in your darkness for wings to set you free,, you are bound by your silent legacy.

As she repeats these words over and over I can definitely relate, feeling so alone in this struggle. I have attempted many times to reach out to people in the church to deal with these tendencies, only to regret it. I have been gossiped about because I was caught with gay porn on my computer by some family, and instead of trying to get me help, they went and 'prayed about it' out loud at a prayer meeting (more like gossip instead of prayer). I have been caught staring at other guys and gotten teased and more gossip. Many times my inner struggles would get me in trouble with such stuff, and I would go home on my knees many times, praying to God for help and for healing.....and here I am still carrying the same burdens. But the first time i heard this song, back in the 90s, i decided that i want to be vocal about it


Glad you liked river. This line is on point, praying for wings to set us free. I’m sorry that was the reaction you received buddy. I agree that it sounds like gossip but you have support here, no gossip, and no judgement. Keep your head up high.
 

Unatempestad

Registrant
Touch me, take me to that other place
Teach me love, I know I'm not a hopeless case

What you don't have, you don't need it now
What you don't know, you can feel it somehow
What you don't have, you don't need it now
You don't need it now...

This one got my mood up. Yeah it’s almost midnight here but hey, it’s a beautiful day.
 

Unatempestad

Registrant
These are mine:




I’m a 90’s baby, I thought I will survive was from my times turns out its from 1978! The lady gaga one is deep.

Edit: on this note, i just remembered reading the lady gaga is also a trauma survivor and she has ptsd. Many famous artist have written some songs about the darkest times of their lives (Adele gets me).
 

Unatempestad

Registrant
Most anything by Enya. Many of her songs are calming, peaceful, relaxing. A quiet retreat when peace is sought.
Wow buddy thanks for sharing. I had never heard of her till now. I watched the video to “only time.” I can’t decide what was more peaceful her voice or the video. Adding this one to the Spotify
 
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