Music, and talk.

https://youtu.be/9FX34TjJe-c?t=27m

https://genius.com/Sufjan-stevens-the-only-thing-lyrics
 
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These little head game parts got my head all up and down and going on to the angst I know very, very well!!!

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Hide in the storage locker, shut that plywood door and hide in the dark. Bury it all deep, pretend nothings going on, it's all an end, there's nothing, nothing, nothing...

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This song pisses me off, and gets me in a bad mood. I graduated this month and year with my BS degree. Having a BS degree has always meant BS to me and being bs to find the part to be what I could be. I wanted to get wasted and fight my brain from thinking and it got more and more fuel to the fire breathing dragon!! I had made my bed and it burns me...


Just a waste, a mind is a terrible thing to taste. LYRICS, it's just lyrics........

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NIN put out a new video, just found it. There's not a lot to say about this... It has a dark message to fight.

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So, this mosh pit Ministry is where I ended, but I started "With Sympathy" and I love that album. It was around the time I got married that I first heard some of "With Sympathy" and it's completely different from where Al took Ministry. He showed what a lightweight like me likes before he went in for the jugular of what he made Ministry!

Get to 7:37 with "I Wanted To Tell Her" and see what I like about the album "With Sympathy"... Al you twit, this is good stuff!!

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And then little Al goes to this.... I had this on tape so I could blast in on my tape deck in my car. I had the deck easy to install, with box installed speakers that I could move from car to car. I had junkers. They'd die in less than a year usually, and I had a way to move the deck, even an equalizer/booster for a while. I could put the dang thing in, in as little as 15 minutes. I would get it going and pop in one of a hundred tapes. Many I had dubbed myself. Know how to dub a tape? Good times.

Here's Al, with that mind that's terrible to taste:

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"What if I say you're not like the others"...!! This Foo Fighters song has a lot of symbolism for me. David gets going and the sequentially numbered adversaries line up opposite. It's obvious there'll be some kind of confrontation...

1) Sequential numbers for me symbolizes the age parts of me
2) I isolated them, hid them, put them far away... and in most sense, they became adversarial.
3) Adversarial in that, I'll as much fight their part in me, as embrace it
4) Like David has the red screen exploding at the last moment, pushing back the adversaries, I too have my shut down push back
5) It can often be hard rockin' angst driven... a part of me that woke in me in 1979 with Punk Rock, but pointed to the Clash.

Symbolism can be abstract, personal, or overt, meaningful or not, and for me, this is meaningful about my pushing and pushing to get to those ages in me. I'm trying guys, stay with me buddies, we'll get this!!

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(((Brothers)))

It's gonna be a bit weird from 3pm until I get a chance to sleep. I won't be allowed internet time, like last night. So, I'm going to settle my nerves with some techno beat...

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In memory of Chester Bedingfield. I remember this song being on the radio all the time. Even though I often say I don't like Linkin Park I went back and listened to their first two albums and I still know all the lyrics to their most popular songs. It's worth acknowledging their commercial success and they way their music was able to connect with people.

[video:youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gd9OhYroLN0[/video]
 
Hi wgrrcb, I'm moved by Linkin Park quite often. I'm also quite moved by the passing of Chester. I rarely get to see bands live, except YouTube has given me these performances to perceive what it is like. I especially don't get to see world renowned bands live, I see them come to town and disappear. I'm not sure if that makes anyone sad, it does me. Well, Chester, RIP dear man!

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This is the video released yesterday, dang Chester... Love hurts us all and anyone hurting... talk to me?

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Chris Cornell's passing in May, 2017 impacted our brother Chester Bennington very deeply and our minds have their own wiring truths. This complex ptsd deeply associated with the events of the past hurt and we have mind messes, mind storms, tornado's that push around our fragility and keep us in a mess. I know this truth, and can feel the depth of pain that knows these ends. I get it. It's herculean it's pushing with all physical energy to fight and fight and be drained to the core.

Crying, crying is the tip of this, the truth in my mind will be far deeper and tears brush it with wet pain...

"Crawling"

Gawd........

Talk about it or call "Lifeline"

 
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When I got sober in 2000 I discovered Linkin Park. I didn't have much money... I was not doing very well. I was a high functioning user. Smoking pot and drinking beer. Those two go to substances allowed me to control it. But, I needed it, don't mistake that the monkey wasn't slamming up and down on my head with a fury! I had to stop thinking then, as I sometimes do now. Now though, I do it sober, 17 years sober. This Hybrid Theory Album was the second I bought. I found Meteora at Whatever 2nd hand shop I was using at the time. There were more than just Cheapo in town back then. There was one near the U of M, there was one in the Uptown area, and then Cheapo. I would browse the new arrival used bins for an hour sometimes, maybe longer. I might try two stores in one day. I'm really a very needy man when it comes to music, without it I'll BREAK!

This isn't "One Step Closer" though, that's a bit much for today. This is the first song on Hybrid Theory: "Papercut"

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Our mental states are like our physical states. if we feed it negative and harsh things, we're going to get negative and harsh results. if we don't incorporate both our outward and inward selves, then we are within contradiction



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GQfE32Deao
 
Idyllic Hoss. Sure does work for some already able to process their parts, and make those steps. Very good. I aspire. May get there yet, I'm a ramblin', simple man, sittin' in the back with the regulars. May have regrets and wish life's ceremonies held weight, and walk along to find myself, up, down, turn around and not hit the ground, the horizon full and free, hugs from friends and family abound...

Not me yet.

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