Multiple "mini-traumas"

[EGL]

I was talking to my T the other day about various other things I call "mini-traumas" in my childhood, things that in my estimation weren't as severe as the sexual abuse by my brother, or the physical abuse by my father. But nevertheless, I think they contributed to the whole hell of what I called childhood. Examples:

• When I was 5 (mid 1960s), my family was going somewhere in our station wagon one night. I was sitting in the back seat in the middle, my oldest brother to my left, my next older brother to my right. As we rounded a sharp curve in the road, my brother's door on the left flew open and he fell out. I remember it so vividly, I was screaming, screaming, screaming. I don't know if it was because of him or if I was so terrified I would be next. I don't remember us stopping, backing up, etc., although obviously we did. I just remember the shock and horror of seeing him fall from the car into the darkness of the night.
• When I was about 8 or 9, I was walking from my house to a little store about 2 houses away. A couple of boys about 18 or 19 were coming from the other way, and one of them grabbed me by the arm and started mouthing at me while his friend laughed. Again, I started screaming which apparently scared them and they ran off. I ran back home crying and never told anyone about it.

There are other examples, but this gives you an idea. I guess the reason I classify them as "mini-traumas" is that they are one-time events, not ongoing things like the physical and sexual abuse were.

Where do you think these kind of events fit into things? Significant? Insignificant?

 

Eddie,

I believe this things to be significant. It fits into our pattern of torment. It all adds up in my book.

That you would remember the events so vividly indicates to me that they were part of your trauma.

I can identify. When I leaned against a door and fell out, hanging on to the armrest of the door as I was dragged through an orchard. To "teach" me not to lean against it again. To this day, I avoid touching a door when I am driving.

So, yeah, I think this qualifies as significant.

Marc

 

[jimrh]

Eddie,

I think these so-called mini-traumas are indeed important.

They are significant because you do remember them and they do seem to affect you.

I too was physically abused by my father and sexually by an older cousin. I rememeber all the little things that my father did (plus the big things).

The little things like playing football (because he wanted me to, but never ever came to a game), breaking every bone in my foot during a game, him taking to to the hospital but never uttering a single word to me, not going, not coming back. The little thing was the doctor putting the temp cast on my foot.

He was kind and gentle to me. I remember crying because it hurt so bad. And he comforted me. I was only 14 but it hurt and it helped that someone seemed to care.

Anyway, Eddie, the little things do count. But you have to think about them and understand what they mean in the big picture.

Just my opinion.

Jimmer

 

[Leosha]

Eddie,

I think they are traumas, regardless of 'size'. All traumas will cause something in our mind and body, the adrenalin rush, the fear, the shakiness, etc. Yes, maybe some were 'smaller' things, some were only one time incidents. But they all add up. I think the fact that you remember them means that they were stored in a certain part of your brain that classified them as 'important'. Just is my thoughts.

Leosha