MS documentary airs across Canada tomorrow

MS documentary airs across Canada tomorrow
D

Donald D'Haene

Registrant
I can't believe this forum has existed for years and I just found out about it! Glad I did. Just in time too.
The W Network will air across Canada (10:30 pm EST W Network)a documentary that was done on my male survivor story, Father's Touch. (more info. on book and documentary here: https://www.fatherstouch.com/ )

The documentary is called Family Secrets. The episode on my story is "When Nobody's Looking"

My memoir's second edition will be coming out in weeks and Mike Lew wrote the two page foreward.

I first went public with my story in '82 after a very public trial. I stopped doing press for about 10 years then decided the best way to reach the most amount of male survivors was to write a memoir and share my story.

I welcome any and all contact. Feel free to email me anytime! More than 1000 survivors have shared their story with me over the last two decades. Our numbers are legion.
 
Thanks Donald--the more people know the more I think we can protect some boys and teens.

Bob
 
I know that a episode of the WB series "7th Heaven" which was about sexual abuse, helped me find the courage to get therapy. I hope all the canadian boys who are victims of SA somehow see your story and get the help they need.

Thank you for doing this. I wish I had enough courage and bravery to tell my story to anyone who would listen.

Jason

BTW Just reread your post, MIKE LEW did your forward??? Lucky you, I've never met the guy but he writes some good books on SA. See my quote from the book I'm currently reading of his in my signature, his new book comes out in May as well
 
Bob, Mike and Jason...thank you for your kind support. Like I said, been working on this subject for 20 years and never knew about this site..would have been here much sooner!!!

Jason, can we talk! I just gave a speech where I showed a short film based on the first chapter of my book. In it, I said, I'm jealous of other victims' silence. By that I mean, what comes with the territory of disclosure is years and years of hearing insensitive remarks..yeah, sure, I'm a tough cookie, but in the early days..well, you know how it is.

Yes, Mike Lew wrote my foreward. He is a fantastic supportive guy! My new book will be coming out soon. Meanwhile, his book blurb for the first edition is on my web site (https://www.fatherstouch.com/Reviews.htm )
This time he was kind enough to go beyond the call of duty.

Where do you guys live? I live in London, Ontario, Canada
 
Happy to make your acquaintance Mike..you're like a neighbour!
Thanks for checking out the show. I appreciate it!
 
Hey,
Do you know if this will show in the states at all? I wouldnt mind watching it as well, but dont get the W Network (or at least I dont think I do).

James
 
Hi James

I believe on satelite tv, it is W West and W East
two different times for different coasts.
Thank you for your interest!
I hope the show will air in the US at some point. The series has been sold to Israeli tv, so you never know!

Donald
 
TORONTOS GLOBE & MAIL : TELEVISION

A few things I meant to tell you but forgot

By JOHN DOYLE
Monday, April 12, 2004 - Page R2

Family Secrets (W, 10:30 p.m.) is a fine series that hasn't received enough attention. Creator Maureen Judge has an excellent track record in documentaries (In My Parents' Basement and Unveiled: The Mother/Daughter Relationship) that manage to reveal ordinary people in intimate and emotional detail without giving the viewer the creeps.

This series is about observing people who hold secrets. Some of these secrets are appalling and some are conventional problems. Judge's great gift is in giving us portraits of these people that are utterly uncontrived. Also, these are not people who wallow in their problems. There's an odd sort of zip and optimism to the programs. Even tonight, in an episode that features a family that endured terrible sexual abuse from their father, there is a fierce focus on transcending the past.

The victims speak eloquently and passionately about what they endured. They are still angry - they lived in a deeply religious community and later realized that many people knew they had been abused, but chose to do nothing. One victim has written a book about the experience. Others just want to tell the camera what happened. The program captures their raw emotions and lets you feel their fervent wish to embrace the future.

Dates and times may vary across the country. Please check listings or visit https://www.globeandmail.com/tv

[email protected]

FAMILY SECRETS, W NETWORK 10:30 PM ACROSS CANADA

https://www.fatherstouch.com
 
I also hope your program gets down into the USA. I just heard over the radio about a breaking child sex scandal in Montreal. I hope things go well enough to get help for the kids who have been involved in it and help keep other kids out of it.

Art
 
Originally posted by Donald D'Haene:
Jason, can we talk! I just gave a speech where I showed a short film based on the first chapter of my book. In it, I said, I'm jealous of other victims' silence. By that I mean, what comes with the territory of disclosure is years and years of hearing insensitive remarks..yeah, sure, I'm a tough cookie, but in the early days..well, you know how it is.

Where do you guys live? I live in London, Ontario, Canada [/QB]
Click to expand...
Re: Years and Years of insensitive remarks
Well, because of people like you maybe it will become accepted and there won't be as many insensitive remarks. Yes, its easy sitting here in silence, but your putting your neck on the line for us and I appreciate that.

I live in Central New Jersey on the Jersey Shore.
 
Dear Jason

Thanks so much for your kind words. I can only hope that our message reaches current victims and might encourage them to disclose; and for survivors, to help them feel not alone, not to blame.

You might find this interesting...this is an excerpt from Mike Lew's foreward for my book, Father's Touch:

". . . As you read this book you will come to know and admire many facets of Donald D'Haene. You will meet Donald as an innocent - a boy victim. You will accompany him on his heroic journey to being the victor he is today. From its lyrical beginning through to the end, Father's Touch is the definition of "painfully honest". This is a work of rare power.

-We learn of how, to survive the abuse, the child learns to compartmentalize ("split") his personality.

-We are exposed to shocking evidence of the imposition of warped adult sexuality, disrupting normal development of the child victim's sexuality.

-We are offered insight into the conflicts experienced by the child victim, as we read of the lies told by the abuser - lies told to the child, to the community, and to himself.

-We see how the manipulations of the perpetrator enlist the child in his own victimization, bringing him to see himself as responsible for what is being done to him.

-And we find that some behaviors that appear to be odd or self-defeating are in reality effective survival strategies discovered by a young person with few external resources . . ."
(this is posted on my web site here: https://www.fatherstouch.com/Order.htm )
 
Donald,

in an episode that features a family that endured terrible sexual abuse from their father, there is a fierce focus on transcending the past.
Click to expand...
The program achieved exactly that! And a wonderful compass for us all to help find some direction. Peace, Andrew
 
Donald,

Thank you for your work. Mike Lew is a great guy. I participated in a retreat he led last summer. He's a shaman among healing men. I look forward to reading your book.

JM
 
Hi again Donald

Is it in your power to suggest sending the program to the UK Channel Four?

The BBC usually do their own productions such as the very graphic drama "Care" which was basically my story, unfortunately the survivor portrayed in this didnt make it after he had hurt the one he loved (which I have done on a regular basis)

Just a suggestion, there is great need here in the UK for education with regard to CSA.

Regards
Archnut

"And all that was left was hope"
 
Andrew, James and Archnut
Thanks for your positive response and support. I am getting nothing but positive feedback on the documentary.
I have forwarded your (Archnut) suggestion about the English channel to the producer/creator of the show. You never know, eh!
I think it's time for us male victims to shout our experiences out loud and proud!
 
Donald - I would also look forward to seeing the program on C4 in the UK. C5 is another option.

Archnut - I remember watching 'Care' when it was on UK TV. It was one of the most powerful things that I have ever watched. I believe that viewers in other countries should be in a position to watch it also.

Several weeks ago I posted on this site regarding the program 'Care' & had a response from Dave (Lloydy), that he had met you. This cheered me up, as I thought that you had met the same fate as the lead character. Glad you're a survivor her (wish you didn't have to be).

*I didn't watch the end credits when it was on (couldn't)- maybe that would have told me more!

Best wishes to you both ...Rik
 
Well, welcome, Donald. Is your last name pronounced "Da-Hayn?"
I'm glad that you are here on a number of levels. Probably the most basic is that you are a writer and while most of my writing was about consumer issues, I sense a "kinship of the pen" with you. I look forward to your presence here, demonstrating that one can have a life after the trauma of our particular experience. I had almost given up hope and this site saved my life.
So, make yourself at home and welcome to our fort.

David
 
I live in New York and won't get to see it (or should I say didn't get to see it)

Welcome aboard Donald!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top