Moving on

Moving on
blacken

blacken

Moderator Coordinator
Staff member
Now I'm not one for "long good-byes", but in this case, I think it is appropriate. Perhaps I'll stop in to say hi sometime, but its time for me to move on.

I first joined MS on August 13, 2001.
4 years, 4 months ago.

I was a broken man.
And those few that might remember, I was very angry.

I have since forgiven myself.

Thinking back.......I recall someone saying, "You'll make it thru." "it IS possible"
I thought he was insane.

It turns out he was right, & I was the insane one, or nearly.

296 posting.
A whole lot of change thru it all.
The extent of change in me is hard to fathom.
Impossible to explain.

Member 464.
For the 2,400 or so that come since.....It's been a rough ride. I nearly lost my life.....twice. So close I came. A single thought, separated me from the end.
But I am still here, and I AM very glad to be alive.
I enjoy life. I really do.

"Blacken" is my name here, but it's no longer me.
Do you hear me?

It's hard to believe.....Not anymore.

Life is not perfect. I get sick. I get the blues.
But these are all normal now & happen in normal ways. It is OK for me too experience all of my life now. To feel & think, in harmony.

I am alive, & I love life. My life.
I have accomplished so much. I did it.
I, I, I, I, I !!!

It is just me now. He no longer rules me & has not for a long time.

Yet, I am closer to my family than I ever was.
I am allowing myself to love, & be loved.

I am not afraid of the wrong things.

I have confidence.

I thank you all.

Your courage helped me to find my own.
To find my way thru, with my mind & heart, & do what I never thought was possible.

Heal

I had a girlfriend for 6 months. First one. And it didnt end badly.
It was a great experience, for us both.
We moved on. And I am fine. Amazing.

I did a complete career change. I am doing very well at it.

All that in the same year. I accomplished the goals I set for myself.

I have to continue those words I once thought to be madness.

To each of you. You can make it through. You can heal. It Is possible.
You are worth the effort. As is your life.

Sincerely, (Blacken no longer) Paul
 
Paul,

As one of those a long way behind you I want to thank you for this post. It's truly inspiring and shows all the rest of us that yes, it can be done.

I wish you all the best for the joyful and fulfilling years ahead.

Much love,
Larry
 
Paul,

I did not know you but I surly do applaud you and share your joy. What a great testament to this place and to an obviously great guy who walked these halls.

Blessings on you and your future,

Take care Bro,

John
 
Paul, One of my favorite things to do here is to watch the numbers change. As the 2800's sign on, the 1800's sign off. It is one of the most positive signs of healing I think this board has to offer. It's sad to think that so many have come since I was the newest member, and even sadder to think that we are only a small fraction of the survivors in the world. But what a great victory when one of us declares himself ready to meet the world head-on. So, from 2202 to 464, congratulations!! Thanks so much for not leaving without saying good-bye. Good luck. And please come back to see us from time to time to offer a word of encouragement and see how we're doing.

Bobby
 
Since my last post here, I have been thinking about 'moving on' Is any one who is still here moved on? Am I moving on? Or am I just keeping an old issue alive?

And then it came to me, of course we are, we all are moving on, EVERYDAY, because that is the way life is.

While some of us are still grappling with issues of forgiveness and confronting abusers, others are dealing with issues of self worth and control. Sometimes emotions get hard and sometimes we learn to learn thru them. Though in the end we learn to love ourselves for what we are, and that no matter we are and no matter what we have done we always were and are loved.

And that I believe is beauty of this process, we call healing or coming together as a whole. It is actually healing in motion, we are learning while constantly facing life head-on relentlessly, and the healing continues inwardly.

Sometimes when it gets hard, we come unlearn a few things, realize that we have to change the way we see things. That is when we find new breakthrough and beginnings.
That way we continue to inspire each other thru our growth and struggles.

And yes, we are truly growing and moving when we continue to believe in the possibility of a better life.

And for me that has been this sites biggest gift, HOPE. It keeps me going every day.

It keeps me rooted in my truth, and yet it pushes me to grow further, and to learn something more about my self, and that makes my growth an endless possibility. No wonder, I keep popping up on this horizon ever so often.

So if you are here, you ARE moving on. AND THAT MY FRIEND IS A PROMISE!
 
Morning Star,

I think every day we wake up we have moved on from where we were the day before, not just where CSA issues are concerned, but in everything we think and are.

Sometimes the changes are not incremental, and sometimes they take a route that disguises what is really happening. But, for example, when one of us has a "light bulb moment" (I love Puppy's term), all we are doing is pulling together ideas and possibiliities that have been gathering in our soul for some time.

A revelation like that is like a great poem or a tremendous piece of music. It didn't just pop out of the ether onto the page through the author's hand. It represents who and where he is in all sorts of ways, and the road he has been travelling for a long time.

What a great idea:

So if you are here, you ARE moving on.
Click to expand...
And I am so glad you are moving on in our company.

Much love,
Larry
 
Paul
It's nice to know your real name, and to know that you've 'made it'.

You were here when I came and we talked a lot back then, they were crazier times at MS than now with guys like Tinfoil and Eddie kicking up a storm most nights, but through it all a sense of comradeship shone through and many many guys have since 'made it'

I spend a lot less time here than I did for the same reasons as you, MS has done us proud Paul.

Take care, and thanks for everything.

Dave
 
Larry,
So true, even a tiny insight makes our hardship seem worthwhile. And ever since I have come here I feel, I get to hear so many different perpectives of my story that I get amazing insights and opportunities of heal, that I feel has been its biggest gift. With each insight I feel I am coming together as a whole, dropping what is untrue and allowing truth to set me free.

To me this group feels like a giant army moving towards the light. With every single step we move a bit closer to our light.

And today it feels as if, the light is truly 'in sight'!
 
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