Moved posts from "masturbation" topic in "Sexual Identity Issues"
Dear Morningstar and Russo
Reading your posts made me think of two things.
I have read a book called "sexoanalysis" by Claude Crpault (a sex doctor who invented a new method of treatment of sexual problems based on psychoanalysis).
His belief is that all men have a "proto feminity" which exists prior to building the masculine identity. So wanting a vagina could be a very archaic and biological memory of that proto feminity.
As for the fantasy about wanting to suck your penis and eat the semen, it makes me think of an archaic form of auto eroticism linked with the merging state with the mother This is a normal phase in the psycho-sexual development of the child. It is during the Oedipus phase that the child have acces to "the other" which means that he will be later able to fantasize on another person. Survivors who have been abused before the age of six (and even so before the age of three) could be stuck on a very deep unconscious level in the merging state and thus in an auto eroticism expression of sexuality.
I hope you can understand what I am trying to explain here (it would be so much easier in French !!!). Like I said it is all a very very archaic and unconscious situation and your fantasies might be an expression of that.
I hope it will help you in the thinking process and I can highly recommend Claude Crpault's book.
Warmest regards
Caroline
[ February 19, 2005, 11:12 PM: Message edited by: Caetel ]
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Le chemin qui me rapproche de toi est sr mme lorsqu'il dbouche sur les ocans (Reb Daber)
Some people see things as they are and say why ? I dream things that never were and say why not ? (Robert F.Kennedy)
Just some thoughts following the above ! [Smile]
I have been reading books on tantra ( yes I read a lot of books ! [Big Grin] I mean the REAL philosophy of tantra and not cheap books on sex positition !!! [Razz] ) and what tantra says about masculinity is that when a man accepts his feminine side, the masculine shows out without any effort. This is the only advice given to men who want to follow the path of tantra and be like Shiva (representing a man) adoring the goddess Shakti (representing a woman).
As for my hubby survivor, I love his feminine side: his softness, his gentleness (when he is not angry !) his romantic aspirations... I also think that it makes his masculine qualities even more apparent: especially his caring and protective behaviours. For me he IS a real man much more than a "macho" type of guy.
But obviously I love him so I love everything about him so don't take my word on that ! [Wink]
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Le chemin qui me rapproche de toi est sr mme lorsqu'il dbouche sur les ocans (Reb Daber)
Some people see things as they are and say why ? I dream things that never were and say why not ? (Robert F.Kennedy)