mother is a stalker
Jacob S
Registrant
I'm so mad at my mother. So mad that there are so many parts of my life that I can't even analyze logically because they are all wrapped up with her.
The pandemic has actually had a silver-lining in that my mother, my abuser, has backed off trying to get in touch with me. She loves to band-wagon, and was all about the getting warm and fuzzies from being part of the "stay home" crowd. But that got old so she switched to the "covid is a hoax" crowd because that got her more attention. So now she's calling and texting me again about when we can get together.
Seeing her always sends me into a tailspin, unfortunately more-so as I've been more clear in my brain about what happened in my childhood. I shouldn't have to explain why just cutting her off doesnt works, you should be mature enough to trust me I know the situation better than you. But the tldr is when I've tried before she pushes harder to the point where she has has shown up at my house and tried my doors. I say with no exxageration that she is a stalker with all the behavioral criteria that entails, and if you think calling the police and saying "my mother is my stalker" would have any lasting effect, you've never had a stalker. (she's stalked other people too and has the restraining orders to prove it!) So for literally a decade my procedure has been to pro-active in meeting with her for an hour or so once a month, making it implicit but clear that as long as she behaves I won't cut her off completely. I've acclimated her to this schedule and as long as I keep it, she is tolerable. Whenever I've gotten lax, she's started going nuts with demands for more contact. At this point, I haven't seen her since Feb. and have called her twice, and now that's just not cutting it for her. And I'm so loathe to go back. It's amazing how much progress and clarity I've gained without her wrecking my emotional state every 30 days. I don't feel like I can do it. Plus she is really not worth risking getting sick over. I think I can fend her off for a few more weeks, but she will literally show up at my house if I don't eventually agree to meet her. And I don't know if I can.
The pandemic has actually had a silver-lining in that my mother, my abuser, has backed off trying to get in touch with me. She loves to band-wagon, and was all about the getting warm and fuzzies from being part of the "stay home" crowd. But that got old so she switched to the "covid is a hoax" crowd because that got her more attention. So now she's calling and texting me again about when we can get together.
Seeing her always sends me into a tailspin, unfortunately more-so as I've been more clear in my brain about what happened in my childhood. I shouldn't have to explain why just cutting her off doesnt works, you should be mature enough to trust me I know the situation better than you. But the tldr is when I've tried before she pushes harder to the point where she has has shown up at my house and tried my doors. I say with no exxageration that she is a stalker with all the behavioral criteria that entails, and if you think calling the police and saying "my mother is my stalker" would have any lasting effect, you've never had a stalker. (she's stalked other people too and has the restraining orders to prove it!) So for literally a decade my procedure has been to pro-active in meeting with her for an hour or so once a month, making it implicit but clear that as long as she behaves I won't cut her off completely. I've acclimated her to this schedule and as long as I keep it, she is tolerable. Whenever I've gotten lax, she's started going nuts with demands for more contact. At this point, I haven't seen her since Feb. and have called her twice, and now that's just not cutting it for her. And I'm so loathe to go back. It's amazing how much progress and clarity I've gained without her wrecking my emotional state every 30 days. I don't feel like I can do it. Plus she is really not worth risking getting sick over. I think I can fend her off for a few more weeks, but she will literally show up at my house if I don't eventually agree to meet her. And I don't know if I can.