More progress

[greenwizard]

I usually avoid public bathrooms if I can at all help it. I've lost count of the number of times I really had to pee while out in public, but walked right by a public bathroom and waited until I was home.

Today I went grocery shopping. Pretty much as soon as I got to the store my bowels moved on me. It was a little uncomfortable, but I had the usual mentality of I can just shop fast and wait until I get home. But by the time I was done shopping it was pretty clear I wasn't making it home.

I ended up practically sprinting into the bathroom and into a stall. There was still some anxiety about it. There were other guys in there. I really hate total strangers being able to hear what I'm doing. I mean, I'm in a bathroom, so they can probably already guess, but still. Though lucky for me someone started using those air hand dryers at the right time and it was loud enough that I was safe.

The point being I had a little less anxiety than usual. I'll still probably try to avoid going to the bathroom in public when I can help it, but it's a small victory and I'll take it.

 

[Tom E.]

greenwizard
congrats on your victory over public bathroom fear. I've had a bathroom phobia most of my life so I know how lousy that is. I've made good progress in the pee shyness but #2 is still an issue.

 

[dark empathy]

@Green wizard, congratulations on making a step forward, that one sounds familiar to me too, indeed I will say being officially allowed to use the disabled loo has always been a nice get out for me in the past.

 

[CelloL]

So I'm not the only one... I was kicked really hard in the tail bone with the point of a boot while at a urinal in about 8th grade. After that I had difficulty using a public bathroom. It's still difficult. I've often let myself become dehydrated or wait until it's incredibly uncomfortable. It's probably why I ended up with a bladder infection in high school. Once on a trip while in college, I felt like the urine backed up into my kidneys because I didn't speak up to say I needed a bathroom. Just too bashful.

Many times if I see other guys head to the bathroom I wait. I have to go in there when nobody else is there. In college I would try to find the most remote bathroom to use and hope nobody was in there.

I had hoped that by the time I hit my 40s and beyond this would be gone, but it's not. I worry that I damaged my kidneys. After having had kidney stones (not drinking enough water), I now have kidney pain if I start to get dehydrated.