More grooming triggers TRIGGER WARNING

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I was 11 when I arrived at my new home in the middle of the city
My Grandfather and my Aunt and Uncle just a memory of my old home as I would now be living with my father who was a stranger and my new stepmother
My stepmother had already started grooming me unknown to my father
My dad was a mild man never owned a house never learned to drive
My first surprise was to learn both he and my stepmother were acholics
In the evening dad retired to the far end of the flat and my stepmother would be in the other end away from him The grooming continued

She would tell me to change into my pajamas that had a fly from which the buttons had been removed so my sex was always exposed I would sit on the lap was kissed hugged fondled a told to be a good boy

One night a man came to visit with a bottle
The kitchen which was next to the hall the bathroom and then my room where I was
they drank the whole bottle and danced and carried on After the man left my dad got sick in the bathroom and then staggered to my room and passed out on my bed that I was in Then my stepmom came in and laid on my bed too
After a while she said turn the light out and close the blind Light still shone in my room from the hall and there on the bed beside my father I had my first full sexual experience with my stepmother After with her satisfied and me not she left
I said what about dad
She said he'll wake up and go to his own bed
I lay there as I was filled with a sticking new feeling
Waves of guilt thoughts of what have I done ?
A sense of loneliness took hold of me as I looked at my drunken father and felt the absence of my Grandfather and my aunt and uncle and my bed that was so safe and free where I used to live
In the morning when i woke up he was gone
When I saw her all was as before except I would never be the same
This went on for 2 years before her boyfriend entered the scene and it got worse
How I envy so many of you here who do not remember I REMEMBER IT ALL EVERY DETAIL STILL I kept the secret for 66 years
I don't know how but I have had a good life after I left at 16 thanks to a good job good kids good friends
Do not give up NEVER
So few people are rotten So many good Seek help I was lucky as I hope you will be too
I had good councilors a good psychiatrist
And best of all a woman who is an angel to support me
But when your alone and down
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