Money will solve our problems?

Money will solve our problems?
J

John Oarc

Registrant
I know that having a lot of money would give me time to take off from work but why do we think it will solve problems. I just sat down the other day and thought about it. If I won the powerball I would still be faced with the problems I have today, yet I still want to be wealthy enough to take some time off and just work on recovery. My T told me during one of my sessions that I had taken care of a lot of things in a very short period of time, he said that most people would have to be in an inpatient therapy setting to deal with that much stuff; going back to the place I was molested, confronting my abuser- who is not alive but I was trying to find him to confront him, well send him a letter, and dealing with my wifes affair, calling the SOB that got with her and telling him how I felt about it. Soon after that I finished the book and sent it to the publisher which has a draining affect on its own. So maybe I am just in need of some time off and thinking that having a lot of money would help me do that is the key, it still would not be bad to win the powerball, lol.

Even though I know that it is not right why do I still think it would be the end all to my problems?
 
Originally posted by John Oarc:
Even though I know that it is not right why do I still think it would be the end all to my problems?
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John,

I'm not sure I can give you a satisfying answer but here it is anyway.

In our culture, money is valued because it brings prestige and power. Money, for example, can buy you the best lawyers in the country and they in turn can win verdicts for you. In other words, if you have enough money you can have justice on your side, or at least what our society defines justice to be. Imagine someone harming you in some way--you demand justice and money can almost guarantee justice will rule in your favor. This is the essence of power and many of us don't want to feel helpless nor crippled by situations that are out of our control. With money, you can bring these situations under your control. You were abused and so it is natural for you to not want to face certain situations beyond your control. I feel the same way.

Now, what are your problems? I think they are events and situations that you wish to have some measure of control over. After all, if you are sick you go to a doctor. Sickness is a problem--a situation you wish to control and money allows you to go to a doctor so that he in turn can help cure you of your sickness. Thus, money can give you a measure of control over some of your problems. Is it any wonder that so many people desire it even as you yourself have said? The more money you have the more problems you can try to control. Recovery from abuse is just another problem, though a major one, that we want to control so naturally we sometimes feel money is the best means to do it. There's nothing wrong with winning the Powerball--you just feel like you would be making faster progress if you won since money can solve your time problem.

Look at it this way--money is simply an abstract form of property and services. You can convert money into almost anything: food, shelter, house cleaning service, medical services, free time, etc... So now the question is this: What problems cannot be controlled by money? Another way of saying it--what can't you turn money into? How about love? It seems to me like love cannot be bought at all. Or can it? You can buy loyalty but not love. Yet I think love is possibly the only solution to our problem of recovering completely. We never experienced being loved for who we were. We were used as objects instead. Therefore it follows from all this that money cannot possibly solve your problem and my problem.

Of course, some money is necessary to help in the recovery process otherwise we wouldn't be able to survive nor see a therapist. But money itself is not a sufficient condition, only a necessary one to solve your problems.

I hope you could follow my reasoning.

Jesse
 
money is not who you are ,your job is not who you are.will it make you any kinder or more compassionate.you are who you are with or without money
 
Richness is not about wealth.
To me, my health and well being come first.
I can quite easily enjoy life in what I see and am part of, money just keeps a roof over my head and a full stomach.

Forget the rat race, join the human race,

ste
 
John,

When I was clearing out drawers and files prior to leaving my job at the University of London, I stumbled onto a copy of my first academic job contract, dating back to 1981. The salary I agreed to work for just stunned me, it was so low.

And yet back then my wife and I were really very happy and not stressed so much, despite the fact that the civil war in Lebanon was drawing ever closer and finally engulfed us. We had no car, no TV, none of the gadgets and luxuries we have now. Just each other and our friends. It was great.

So definitely not, money doesn't bring happiness. My wife and I sat down and talked about this recently, and what we discovered was that every time our financial circumstances improved, the demands we made on them just increased to engulf whatever we had and then some, just like before.

Much love,
Larry
 
I think the control thing is the answer in my situation, Jesse you nailed it and yes I followed your reasoning to a tee. I know it does not solve problems and I know it cant buy happiness or love, like I said I know it but cant stop thinking that it would give me time to recover, it would give me control; take off when I am having a rough time, control is the answer in my case.

We were unable to control what happened to us during the abuse and that is why we have control issues today, that I understand. When things get real stressful is when I get like this and work has been very stressful, the books have not helped much either.

Thanks guys,
 
If I could land a job that paid 40k per year, I would consider myself rich beyond measure. Of course, I've gotten by this whole time making just half of that because the low-wage jobs were all I could handle.

I was a litte too "preoccupied" to think about my future and land a career.
 
i consider myself rich beyond measure just having known you hauser, some things are just more valuable than money dude. adam
 
The only thing money can do is get rid of those bills that hit the doormat every month, anything else is a bonus.

I see myself as being a lot more richer than those that abused me at long last I know who and what I am. They havent a clue what they are let alone who they are.

Kirk
"Lets grab this bull by the horns and swing it about a bit"
 
The one thing that rolls through my mind is that with more you can help more. I have a habit of helping those less fortunate than myself. If I was to gain financial independence I would use my time to help others particularly those suffering from CSA. The biggest benefit in my eyes is time.
 
Damn, I am sorry about this post guys. I just found out that I am about 2 weeks behind on my testosterone injection. I have been drained emotionaly and physically and I just forgot to take it. My level must be around 100, when this happens I lose it, confidence, hope, sex drive, everything just goes out the window. The ability to concentrate and rationalize things is just not there.

Maybe I should get the patch, lol
 
John,

I think this is a good thread.
It shows that money is not everything, as long as we have enough of it, and the time to heal, then we are rich.

I totally burned myself out at work, but I have caring responsibilities so now that is all I do.
It is a job in itself, but it gives me space to think and write.

I would love to be able to start a little business from home and live the way I would want to live.

I hope everyones dreams can someday come true,

ste
 
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