Moderator - why ?
Guys
Earlier this week I lifted a post off the forum, not something I did lightly or without a lot of thought I promise you.
And I thought it might be useful if I tried to explain my reasoning for removing the post and the criteria I felt I needed to apply to my decision.
I removed the post, a reply to an origional post, fairly quickly so it was probably unseen by many of you. Whether the first poster, who's feelings I was trying to protect, saw it I don't know.
Forgive me for not revealing names, but this is solely about my reasons and the way I work, not so much as an apology, but as an explanation of what I tried to achieve and how I arrived at the decision to lift the post.
When I removed the post, which was fully intended to be helpful and posted with the best intentions; but unfortunately made assumptions about a third party who isn,t a member and that I judged to be very upsetting, I sent a private message to the member concerned outlining my reasons, offering support for his intentions, and asked that he repost in a slightly different manner.
I used the phrase -"I judged" - a VERY subjective thing. My judgement of what's upsetting isn't everyone elses - I know that from previous experience, it's all to easy to misinterpret a statement. Or apply my values, and I suppose that's inevitable and unavoidable to a great extent. Although in this instance the administrators and those that have seen it agree with me that it was likely to be very upsetting.
This incident hasn't created a big problem, although the member who's post it was did send a message to the administrators asking why I did it and expressing some displeasure. He also thought he was likely to be barred from the forum, which was never an option.
And this possible misunderstanding is the main spur for me explaining what I try to do.
The last thing I want to see happen is new members, who are feeling their way around with all of the problems that bring us here in the first place, fail to get the best out of this wonderful site. And more importantly the unfailing support from all the other members.
And this has also shown me just how easy it is for someone to suddenly feel "put down" once again, at a time when it's the last thing they need.
Another point it's driven home to me is just how much thought I need to put into how I deal with these things, it's a massive amount. And I can't escape that - don't intend to, it's what I choose to do.
I have to balance the possible feelings and likely reactions of everyone. And work with my own set of standards- which can be vastly different to yours.
I'm as sure as I can possibly be it was the right thing to do, and I have no problem with doing it this week or again in the future.
But I do believe it's important for me to explain, the best I can, how I work. You all deserve that and I hope this goes some way to making it clearer.
I get a great deal from helping here, it's helped me to become the survivor I am today. And I would hate to think that my best intentions would make someone who came here for help go, and not come back.
Thanks
Lloydy
Earlier this week I lifted a post off the forum, not something I did lightly or without a lot of thought I promise you.
And I thought it might be useful if I tried to explain my reasoning for removing the post and the criteria I felt I needed to apply to my decision.
I removed the post, a reply to an origional post, fairly quickly so it was probably unseen by many of you. Whether the first poster, who's feelings I was trying to protect, saw it I don't know.
Forgive me for not revealing names, but this is solely about my reasons and the way I work, not so much as an apology, but as an explanation of what I tried to achieve and how I arrived at the decision to lift the post.
When I removed the post, which was fully intended to be helpful and posted with the best intentions; but unfortunately made assumptions about a third party who isn,t a member and that I judged to be very upsetting, I sent a private message to the member concerned outlining my reasons, offering support for his intentions, and asked that he repost in a slightly different manner.
I used the phrase -"I judged" - a VERY subjective thing. My judgement of what's upsetting isn't everyone elses - I know that from previous experience, it's all to easy to misinterpret a statement. Or apply my values, and I suppose that's inevitable and unavoidable to a great extent. Although in this instance the administrators and those that have seen it agree with me that it was likely to be very upsetting.
This incident hasn't created a big problem, although the member who's post it was did send a message to the administrators asking why I did it and expressing some displeasure. He also thought he was likely to be barred from the forum, which was never an option.
And this possible misunderstanding is the main spur for me explaining what I try to do.
The last thing I want to see happen is new members, who are feeling their way around with all of the problems that bring us here in the first place, fail to get the best out of this wonderful site. And more importantly the unfailing support from all the other members.
And this has also shown me just how easy it is for someone to suddenly feel "put down" once again, at a time when it's the last thing they need.
Another point it's driven home to me is just how much thought I need to put into how I deal with these things, it's a massive amount. And I can't escape that - don't intend to, it's what I choose to do.
I have to balance the possible feelings and likely reactions of everyone. And work with my own set of standards- which can be vastly different to yours.
I'm as sure as I can possibly be it was the right thing to do, and I have no problem with doing it this week or again in the future.
But I do believe it's important for me to explain, the best I can, how I work. You all deserve that and I hope this goes some way to making it clearer.
I get a great deal from helping here, it's helped me to become the survivor I am today. And I would hate to think that my best intentions would make someone who came here for help go, and not come back.
Thanks
Lloydy