MM) Absolutely Trigger Warning


(a chapter)


(Sunday, 11APR2021)

'Having memorized Robert Kagan's Yale lecture series. It remains favorite, though, 'have moved on. Astonishingly, Socrates and Plato enjoy enormous affect, influence, high-standard-ness, upon Constantine's and the Roman people's forming of the Catholic church, Constantine having converted, he says by Act of God. He converted ninety percent of the Roman empire before his death. Socrates, eventually married with a son, and Plato, as in platonic, become the first pastor, and the first priest, respectively, of Christianity, and its standard-bearers of such, though both are considerably quite B.C., while Constantine, the first Emperor slash Pope of the Catholic Church, remains considerably A.D. None of the three ever practiced the Jewish faith. Socrates got the boys safe from harm, followed by Plato securing the safety of the male adolescents and young men.

Most harmed boys, out of sheer, primal instinct, immediately become the least attractive boy in all the land, upon harm, and such recovery will be long and difficult, beginning with his skin thickening concerning constant ridicule, while he tries to regain his original, natural athetic posture in private, and navigates with triggers at every turn.

Eventually, he will move on to sports. Batting cages remain not ideal, because he will lack the privacy necessary. Basketball, indoors, in solitude, make for a nice start. Hockey, in solitude, with no audience or coach, other than through books, also might be ideal. Outside of sport and the re-learning of athletic posture and movement -- Bruce Lee's written teachings and boxing's remain good for this -- he cannot tolerate any reference to or speech concerning his being now of the harmed. The years of recovery will be long and arduous.

He will not lift weights until post-adolescence; such will stunt his growth during such periods. Pullups, pushups, situps, remain enough. Baseball pitching, with no worry of audience, or coaching, other than from books, might make for a good start, though the solitude may inevitably become a trigger.

Body memories exist. Each must be unlocked, inevitably. The reclaiming of the buttock muscles might be most difficult, though they provide the most power concerning athletic movement, even when walking. Such body memories might not unlock for decades. He might learn to place his hands, parade rest, and push forward upon his waist, lower back, forcing it forward. Such exercise remains common.

Also, proper athletic posture may be difficult to reclaim, if he is known to now stare at the ground when he walks or runs, as such affects, though not permanently, his physical development. Once, obtained he may keep it by rocking back and forth with his feet the primary holder. 'Taught well within Million Dollar Baby, Clint Eastwood, Hilary Swank, Morgan Freeman. He will not be allowed near any female, as her vitriole of bitter laughter will only cause setback, and her inclination to protect the rapists of boys will only cause more harm.

As an adult, he may find himself popping his neck, upper back, and lower back -- a natural, necessary, if striking, habit. The abdominals may or may not be difficult to reclaim, decided by the nature of his harming.

Church, Christianity, may or may not be a proper environment, depending the situation. Maybe reference the Burgundian Laws, easily Googled, including keeping in mind The Game of Thrones. Upon the fall of Western Rome, only the pope -- formerly emporor -- remains with power to intervene in such brutish, extreme environment. Note the long hair of menfolk remaining a symbol of status, and such hair pulling referenced in the new, if primal, Burgundian Laws. During this time, the hunter-gathers and settled continue to have distrust for each other. During these hundreds of years proceeding the fall of Rome, the gatherers are called Nomads, or gypsies. Church may or may not be advisable, though the Bible, both Old Testament and New, remains absolutely essential in this world. Constantinople, capital of the Eastern Roman Empire, will not fall until around 1453.

(Apologize for any editing. 'Hate to do it, only 'cannot stand typos, Notice the lack of title concerning the last chapter, LL).

"The further back you go in the Bible, the less are good intentions rewarded," lectures Professor Freedman of Yale, YouTube-wise. "Lot's wife was told not to look back. She looked back. She was turned into a pillar of salt. The guy ... who, he drops, he stumbles, as they're carrying the Tabernacle back to Jerusalem from with the Philistines ... Is it Usiah ... The guy stumbles and God strikes him dead ... God wants you to understand what's going on. Insofar as you don't make errors ... The right manner of Christ's nature is important."

Gregory of Nyssa, concerning what it was like around 500 A.D., within the Roman Empire: "If you go into a shop and ask about your change, the shopkeeper philosophizes about the begotten and the unbegotten. If you inquire about a loaf of bread, the baker will reply, that the Son is inferior, and the Father is superior. If you ask if your bath is ready, the attendant says that the Son is made out of nothing."

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(middle of night)

"I'll see you in a year or two," says Dwayne Jackson, right smack in Kenley, 1950s. "If I don't get shot," he says, on his way to Korea.

See ... The Obamas had a certain way of trying to kill, same as the Trump family. Pres. Carter remains not involved. When the Democratic Party has someone murdered, they have certain details. When the Republicans want someone murdered ... they have a certain way of going about it. 'Would know. (Am watching Last Picture Show). 'Remember Kenley ....

'Think, Tiananmen 'Square, 'cause 'cannot tell you much. There was this tank. You should've seen Obama's truly patriotic ready readiness ... to step in front of it. Notice Steve Kroft's interview of Obama on Sixty Minutes, CBS, long prior to December 2013. Only he couldn't, hands 'tied or what not. So 'did, instead, as Obama wanted, since he could not. 'Think Willahford ... 'still assumed Democratic-party-murdered, dead, at the time. 'Love Willahford. He's my brother, as he insists, despite the waterboarding, and 'know not how to feel about it.

All of Washington witnessed ... years went by ... you must understand Mrs. Obama's head-on-platter part ... She had dozens of hearses follow me around, driving by, as I walked to and from work, and tirelessly let me know such was her arrangement, as many at J&S Cafeteria, RiverRidge, Ashe, can attest. Can't say any of them minded much. Mostly, they thought it was funny, till Trump got elected. Once, during the Trump administration, Air Force One flew over me, at night. 'Was extraordinary at the time; 'was in awe. 'Would only find out later it was an intimidation attempt. Oops. Think Chicago. and The Good Wife, a CBS show that got the word out of the Democratic Party's corruption, by way of George Clooney's intel to Julianna Margulies, while Obama was still in office.

'Only 'was over the age of ten, so, 'course, 'knew no one was coming. Tank-be-damned. Ashe would be different. But God's Country remains complicated. Its architecture, and way, was the same as The Last Picture Show's, when in town.

By my having stepped in front of the tank -- made up of publishing conglomerates, oligarchs, Ivy Leagues, journalists, common celebrities, lobbyists, not to mention Dawn, Rose, Grace, feminists and such, mostly publishing conglomerates -- somehow ... 'had broken Washington etiquette.

They may go on about The Handmaid's Tale, Margaret Atwood, one end of the feminist spectrum. 'Know the other end, being of Carolina. They used government systems and feminist propaganda, so that feminist's victims would receive a government letter in the mail, saying for them to patriotically arrive at such and such doctor's appointment. They didn't even tell them they were being forced sterilized, for no reason, other than feminists' historically inaccurate opinion. They still force-sterilized as they pleased. They didn't even tell them.

Twice, now, in the grocery of The Color Purple, Willahford grabbed the grocery list from my hands, and later Royal would do so, too. Only, that happened in real life, as opposed to fiction. Welcome to Carolina. Where all I got was The Godfather II, The Goodfellas, and Robert De Niro's The Irishman. Concerning my Irish half, 'only get the Civil War, where Lee said to Grant, upon Lee's conceding: "You only won 'cause of the Irish." Otherwise, but for the Irish, those silly rich white kids, whom now come in all skin colors, would still be fighting the Civil War. 'Do not apologize for Americans, if freshly freed, indentured servant or not, being surrounded by Roman architecture, enjoying a Constitution steeped in Greek values.

On July fourth, 2020, 'walked to the bodega, a block away, same as usual. The clouds moved quickly across the orange-red full moon. Upon the way back, the clouds slowed almost to a still. There was a sideways V, pointing right, like an alligator's toothy mouth. There was a hole in its head, that the orange-red shown through, like a blood-colored eye. 'Such dragon continues slowly, in silhouette, across the full moon. Therefore, 'knew not to cast runes, though that was all that was left. This is God's Country, and he handles as He pleases, though 'did not break under federal coercive torture campaign, nor waterboarding, so did not understand His unyielding unwaveringness. God does as He pleases. Despite my Lamentations.

The boy is mine. Yeah, he learned his letters, his numbers, how to put an adult in the ground, the second time. He is past the age of eighteen. He is considered human now, under American law. That boy is mine.

"He was sweepin,'" Sonny says, knowing the truth of days gone past. "You son's-of-bitches. He was sweepin!"

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(Sunday, MAR2021)


"Yeah," he says, at the bar of the restaurant. "I remember her. Yeah. The basketball star ... "

He's a young paramedic for the fire department, not Ashe, a small town maybe a mile from here, the outskirts of Ashe.

'Were talking about Montana, the funeral, the tragedy. 'Had promised Montana 'would write it, as short story, just as it was; we'd agreed on how it would end, quoting him, in his car in the grocery's parking lot. 'Do not feel yet a good enough writer, though 'remember, 'with Dakota, Levis, Kaitlin, her sister, us dressing in black, after having returned from the creek, Ms Jenn's trailer not always having electricity or running water, us tying our shoes, Dakota starting the car.

"One hundred APD quit," he says, wide-eyed.

Federal coercive torture campaigns exist, and are done a certain way. They were never intended to be wielded for political purposes; it has more to do with terrorism. The funeral lands post-mistaken-accidentally-graduated-OCS, pre-height-of-federal-coercive-torture-campaign. Institutions are involved. Post offices, libraries, basically any federal property, while remembering Disney. The old people called it Christian persecution. Biden called it a "miscalculation," there for you to see, on PBS, only he said it long before he found out 'don't break under waterboarding.

"If you don't get down the pole, ready-to-go, within ninety seconds," he says, with a smile. "They'll look at you funny."

The neighborhood remains a small town unto itself, retaining its original name, with the grocery, the-general-store-not-far, the restaurant, the diner just off the interstate. My apartment building stands on the high ground, it being mountainous region.

And firefighters do train. They have training exercises. In Eastern Carolina they burn down old barns. It was that instance where he leans into something as he's talking, when he's talking about the training path required, including scores, for such a career path. 'That's what done it. The firefighters, on the high ground, training for several hours, with a certain pride, using the trucks and ladders, proving access to all the floors of the buildings, including the rooftop, as they handle the exercise, proper, out-of-nowhere, next morning. That slight squint in his eyes, that pull, that pause, as he says, "It would take about three years ... "

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(Friday, 30APR2021)

"... And I'll be drawing very heavily on Sarna's work as well as the work of some other scholars," says Professor Christine Hayes, Yale. "Who have spent a great deal of time comparing Israelite and Ancient Near Eastern stories particularly these opening chapters, in order to see the features that they share and to wonder if perhaps there isn't after all a chasm that divides them quite deeply. In our consideration of Genesis 1 and 2, we first need to consider a Babylonian epic ... Enuma Elish, which means "when on high." ... And the epic opens before the formation of heaven and earth. Nothing existed except water and water existed in two forms. There's the primeval fresh water, fresh water ocean, which identified with a male divine principle, a male god, Apsu. You have a primeval salt water ocean which is identified with a female divine principle, Tiamet. Tiamat appears as this watery ocean but also as a very fierce dragon-like monster. I will be reading sections from Speiser's translation of Enuma Elish, part of the anthology put together by Pritchard. It begins: When on high the heaven had not been named. Firm ground below had not been called by name, Naught but primordial Apsu, their begetter, nor Mummu-Tiamat, she who bore them all, their waters co-mingling as a single body, No reed hut had been matted, no marsh land had appeared, When no gods whatever had been brought into being, uncalled by name, their destinies undetermined--"

--'Comedies remain difficult to explain ... ('Am learning this lecture series now. Our human race remains really beautiful). The Skeleton Twins, Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader, remains a good first start. You will have had to read most of the library, at your reading level, before vetting the book, Everything You Know Is Still Wrong, by Lloyd Pye. Then reward yourself by watching The Fisher King, Robin Williams, and witness one of, if not the, most beautiful storyboards in comedy. 'Don't know how Gabriel Garcia Marquez knew ... His take on it, by way of One Hundred Years of Solitude, seems to be that human beings don't live long enough to ever not be grappling with only the core issues of morality, which makes us special.

Sitcoms began with The Honeymooners ... what the artists' put together, 'came up with when challenged with such task. 'Cause television was new while art is not. They didn't know what a sitcom was. The Honeymooners only did one season, showing how it was done. Sitcoms are expected to run indefinitely, naturally of less quality. The Honeymooners becomes The Flintstones, which runs for many seasons, only in cartoon. All husband-wife sitcoms are basically The Honeymooners, done generationally.

Then, there's The Three Stooges, brothers. Seinfeld, the show, Seinfeld expanded the artform, adding a girl, Elaine. While the three brothers play Three Stooges, successfully, Elaine is the series' storyline. Zooey Deschanel's New Girl adds another element: The Three Stooges, plus a girl, plus one is black, and later ... Honestly, the show wasn't funny until Winston showed up to teach them. New Girl, while marketed to the still-single female audience, is heavy on strong male representation, and a success in real time. At one point, their finest comedic period, there are Four Stooges.

As I don't know how many books have been read, 'will break it down as if you've read them all. Homeless Guy: Oracle of Delphi. Jess: American woman. Nick: American man. Coach: African American. Schmidt: Russian. Winston: African. The episode most illuminating concerning structure remains, for now, "Menus." And the rest match up. They do call it television therapy for a reason. They're trying to help you make sense of us, and yeah, people think white people got more money, so they market to white people. 'How do I know what people think. You have to know true history, so the story you're putting out there connects with real life. Maybe notice the storyboards of George Clooney's Leatherheads.

(George Clooney) "You're the kind of cocktail that comes on like sugar but gives you a kick in the head. The only thing you hate worse than a guy making a play is when a guy doesn't make a play."

(Renée Zellweger) "Enchanting girl. I thought you had to be twenty-one to get into a place like this."
(George Clooney) "She is twenty-one."
(Renée Zellweger) "I meant her I.Q."
(George Clooney) "I wasn't planning on running her for Congress."
(Renée Zellweger) "No? What were you planning on doing with her?"
(George Clooney) "You know, the usual."
(Renée Zellweger) "Put her in shoulder pads and a helmet and knock her brains out?"
(George Clooney) "I think somebody beat me to it."
(Renée Zellweger) "She'll do well in Congress."

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