Mixed up memories *triggers*
Healing light
Registrant
I had this really vivid flashback earlier and a series of muddled up memories in no order really
I have no idea what triggered it as such either
On talking about it with my partner the memories were even more muddled to the point that some of it made no sense at all. Too either of us.
The memories are from around 7- 10 years old and involves an older lad but not a man and the presence of an adult man or the sense of there being someone else with authority
It's not the first time I have had snippets similar to this I have some very clear memories is that age group to though but not of this person or I do and I have not linked the two I find that confusing that these are so hazy when some are clear
I was abused by a number of people but My uncle was convicted of child exploitation I am one of numerous survivors of his abuse its likely this fits in amongst that
The events obviously distressed me at the time and I felt panicked sick and light headed earlier
Since earlier I have felt on edge , vunerable and in need of physical contact weirdly
I wish I could remember more or nothing at all instead of what I do I don't remember the lad at all really just that he was I guess a teenager and big enough to totally over power me and that the somebody else present ( I assume my uncle ) didn't intervine and let him
What makes even less sense is I remember sexual contact around the same age with family members abused alongside me I remember what we used to be instructed to do they were both a bit older than me but not old enough to be that person what they were instructed to do to me and it wasn't the same as this
I feel this massive need to retreat for safety and as a child I would sit with a blanket over my head if my father or uncle punished me they would take away my blankets as it upset me so much as a child made everything ten times worse just by doing that so it was utilised especially by my uncle but my uncle would also utilise it if I was upset and give me one
I don't expect anyone else to make sense of my jibberish but somehow I wanted to make the illogical logical and give some sort of order to my thoughts and feelings
Does other people have these muddled events in amongst clear ones
Are the other events only clearer because my co abused have offered clarity to them and it's not the case with these?
I asked one and he don't remember an older boy at all just to make it stranger
Peace
HL
Peace
HL
I have no idea what triggered it as such either
On talking about it with my partner the memories were even more muddled to the point that some of it made no sense at all. Too either of us.
The memories are from around 7- 10 years old and involves an older lad but not a man and the presence of an adult man or the sense of there being someone else with authority
It's not the first time I have had snippets similar to this I have some very clear memories is that age group to though but not of this person or I do and I have not linked the two I find that confusing that these are so hazy when some are clear
I was abused by a number of people but My uncle was convicted of child exploitation I am one of numerous survivors of his abuse its likely this fits in amongst that
The events obviously distressed me at the time and I felt panicked sick and light headed earlier
Since earlier I have felt on edge , vunerable and in need of physical contact weirdly
I wish I could remember more or nothing at all instead of what I do I don't remember the lad at all really just that he was I guess a teenager and big enough to totally over power me and that the somebody else present ( I assume my uncle ) didn't intervine and let him
What makes even less sense is I remember sexual contact around the same age with family members abused alongside me I remember what we used to be instructed to do they were both a bit older than me but not old enough to be that person what they were instructed to do to me and it wasn't the same as this
I feel this massive need to retreat for safety and as a child I would sit with a blanket over my head if my father or uncle punished me they would take away my blankets as it upset me so much as a child made everything ten times worse just by doing that so it was utilised especially by my uncle but my uncle would also utilise it if I was upset and give me one
I don't expect anyone else to make sense of my jibberish but somehow I wanted to make the illogical logical and give some sort of order to my thoughts and feelings
Does other people have these muddled events in amongst clear ones
Are the other events only clearer because my co abused have offered clarity to them and it's not the case with these?
I asked one and he don't remember an older boy at all just to make it stranger
Peace
HL
Peace
HL