mistakes i've made
Hello All,
I've been trying hard to come up with something to say, some way to capture the recent troubles in my life and distill them in to some communicable form. Its been difficult.
Many of the names here are new since I had posted here regularly and I feel kinda out of place. Haven't been able to decide what to say. Still hard. Talking is not my strong suit, if it was perhaps my troubles in life would have been fewer, probably less lonely at least.
As a brief re-intro I'll just say, I was SA'd at a about 5 - 6 by an older sibling and aunt numerous times til about the age 12. Also physically abused and neglected.
I've made some mistakes in my recovery, the main one was to stop talking. To stop coming here and other places and trying deeply to express how I feel. Life just seemed to push it out of the list of top priorities. The result was a return to depression.
Oh there have been other things that contributed to it, mainly a new job that turned out to be a real job from hell. Amped up the stress and loneliness level 500% lol
And there was a relationship that ended quite recently, not for lack of love or respect but mainly distance (she lives in London I live in the states). Yeah it was an internet thing but there was(is) genuine love (from my perspective anyway) and caring there, if not a conventional relationship. Relating that way can be very difficult, part of the depression I suppose.
Really don't know where this post is going, just to say hello again I suppose. Thats all.
Little bit at a loss as to what else to say.
Peace,
Aaron
I've been trying hard to come up with something to say, some way to capture the recent troubles in my life and distill them in to some communicable form. Its been difficult.
Many of the names here are new since I had posted here regularly and I feel kinda out of place. Haven't been able to decide what to say. Still hard. Talking is not my strong suit, if it was perhaps my troubles in life would have been fewer, probably less lonely at least.
As a brief re-intro I'll just say, I was SA'd at a about 5 - 6 by an older sibling and aunt numerous times til about the age 12. Also physically abused and neglected.
I've made some mistakes in my recovery, the main one was to stop talking. To stop coming here and other places and trying deeply to express how I feel. Life just seemed to push it out of the list of top priorities. The result was a return to depression.
Oh there have been other things that contributed to it, mainly a new job that turned out to be a real job from hell. Amped up the stress and loneliness level 500% lol
And there was a relationship that ended quite recently, not for lack of love or respect but mainly distance (she lives in London I live in the states). Yeah it was an internet thing but there was(is) genuine love (from my perspective anyway) and caring there, if not a conventional relationship. Relating that way can be very difficult, part of the depression I suppose.
Really don't know where this post is going, just to say hello again I suppose. Thats all.
Little bit at a loss as to what else to say.
Peace,
Aaron
