Misfortune

[Tryingtolive]

An event of bad luck.
Remembering what the fuck.
Followed me into a depression.
A crazy obsession.
Stay in my lonely corner.
Got the cold shoulder.
Masked it all.
No one ever saw.
The tears and sadness.
Which drove the madness.
A relationship I wanted.
Couldn’t open up,so afflicted.
At the time I was so lost.
Looking at my actions nothing had a cost.
Passions and joys destroyed.
No where to be employed.
Ideas and thoughts shoved away.
Deciding if today is the day if it’s worth the stay.
An empty bottle out to see Sea.
Hoping to come to shore so someone could see.
The letter inside is the one I’m writing.
Someone out there tell me it’s worth fighting.
I waste away another day.
Nothing improving this game of life I play.

 

[Ceremony]

I try to tell you Ttl, and you have a lot of pain, I'm so sorry. Isolation, invalidation, family being the source of problems... I think you need to be away from them, and I can't imagine it clearly for myself; I'm not succeeding at healing because I still live with my wife's daily derision.

You have been invalidated for too long.

You know acceptance and validation here, and need it in the real world. I don't know how to help with that, except to ask you to direct some attention to therapy that will show you. I'm now doing that and know it's helping me. I built a very difficult structure around me, walls very thick, for protection. I'm not sure how long it will take to find my way out? I keep trying, I see some hope and I try more.