Misandry

It is very difficult.

First, I try to avoid it as much as I can. For a long time I tried to trigger myself over and over by actively seeking out radical feminist drivel on the internet. Then with the advent of #MeToo I found that I didn't have to seek it out anymore - it came to me. But I've gotten better at determining what is unsafe online and try to avoid it, with reasonable success.

Second, I try to remember that not all women hate men. Not all women think men are toxic. Many if not most women LOVE men as husbands, fathers, sons, brothers, and colleagues. Online content is published due to the number of clicks it will receive, which drives content towards extremes. And most of the very bad, anti-male self-published stuff out there is by very young women who have been hurt by men and don't have much other life experience.
 
I use the equal opportunity approach. it actually seems to resonate with women as well.
I call out the "toxic femininity".
I call out female gaslighting, which I used to get a ton of on twitter. for me gaslighting seemed to be a regular thing when they knew they were out logic-ed. they would go from extreme logic and when their argument didn't hold up they would go straight for rhetoric and gaslighting.
I would do the same thing in real life... what I found was that a small percentage could reason on it and change their view but most women, just like most men just cant fathom men as victims. and that women use gaslighting and other forms of toxic femininity like passive aggressive behavior to protect themselves from having to change their world view.
 
I TRY to call it out toxic masculinity whenever I see it.

When I told my brother a few months ago that I had been molested at eight-years-old by my teacher, and how much it had damaged me, he was supportive.

But then he asked, "Was she pretty?"

Does anyone ask a girl after she's assaulted if her rapist was handsome?

My own brother, even after hearing how much my life had been impacted by sexual trauma, has been so brainwashed by the toxic masculinity in our culture - that ALL men ALWAYS want sex - that he simply took it as a given that it couldn't be **THAT BAD**!

Up until that moment, I had considered saying something about my abuse on Facebook, or maybe telling my family.

But there's no way in hell I'm going public after that reaction. If my own brother minimizes my abuse because he assumed - at some level - that I wanted it, what are strangers going think?

I've argued over the years with idiots (ALWAYS men) who post on articles about male students molested by female teachers; how "I wish they had teachers like that when I was in school! LULZ!"

FUCK THEM!
 
If someone were to say they've experienced misandry, is that something to listen to?

Then, if someone says, they've experienced misogyny, is that something to listen to?

If a man says he's been raped and the perp was a woman, or man, do we believe them?

If a woman says they've been raped and the perp was a man or a woman, do we believe them?

Are there toxic women, yes.

Are there toxic men, yes.
 
If someone were to say they've experienced misandry, is that something to listen to?

Then, if someone says, they've experienced misogyny, is that something to listen to?

If a man says he's been raped and the perp was a woman, or man, do we believe them?

If a woman says they've been raped and the perp was a man or a woman, do we believe them?

Are there toxic women, yes.

Are there toxic men, yes.
very well said.
 
I totally agree with ceremony here.
The problem is that not everyone does and as misandry was such a major part of my abuse, don't hit girls, dont' touch girls, I was dirty if my body responded I find the thing extremely triggering.

I try to not get caught up in too much anger and feelings of being invalidated, and my lady helps hugely with this being a woman who yes, gets it and probably knows more about my abuse than anyone else, but its frankly difficult.

I do hope one day to actually put forward an alternative viewpoint, but since at the moment even what viewpoints get is the province of people who are already heavily misandric its bloody difficult, especially since life is extremely stressful at the moment and yes, stress and not being heard makes it worse.
 
i think the sad reality of the age we are currently live in: misandy is socially accepted, and usually it's a choice between being an equal rights activist (taking a stance, calling out BS etc.) or protecting self/waling away/controlling the damage. Idk if it makes sense to you guys.
 
Idk if it makes sense to you guys.
Certainly it does. It we advocate for men - for ourselves - we're called MRAs, redpillers, toxic, etc., none of which actually describes us. So we learn to ignore misandry and walk away from it when ideally we should be pointing it out. It's a difficult choice and most definitely no man should ever be shamed for not wanting to fight misandry when we see it. The price is just too high for many or most of us.

I think women should be doing more to fight misandry, quite honestly, because the majority of misandrists are women, and they're far more likely to listen positively to other women. Some feminists do prove that they really do want equality between the sexes by fighting for men as well as for women when appropriate.
 
I think misandry is a much bigger problem than misogyny. Men will always be hated by some women because of feminism, things like the #metoo movement and the general, but false, idea of patriarchy. If a woman doesn't fit traditional gender roles she is known as independent and brave. If a man doesn't fit traditional gender roles he is known as a deadbeat or a pussy. Women have much more freedom and privilege than they claim to have. Or than they realize. I deal with toxic femininity by calling it out online and avoiding women irl. I go to bars all the time, but I don't usually talk to women my age or younger (I'm 33). They are usually the #metoo idiots and false accusers. If I do talk to women they are usually my mother's age. Not to pick them up. I go to the bar to drink, not to pick up women. But otherwise I hardly ever talk to women outside my family. I don't trust women. Maybe that's not healthy. But I have been used and abused by women since I was six. My step mother, mother, ex-wife, and some fake friends. So it's understandable instructions guess. I don't give advice because I'm not really qualified to tell someone else something. But I think dealing with the so called "toxic masculinity" just has to be called out.
 
@rileyk86, I think it's possible to take it too far. Surely there are as many toxic females as there are toxic males. But we know angry women are far more likely to falsely brand us as toxic than women who aren't angry at men.

It sounds like you are very angry. And who could blame you? You've been hurt deeply by women. But it's just as bad calling women out from a place of anger and pain and it is for them to call us out from their anger and pain.

Not all women are bad. Not all men are, either. It's worth trying to recognize the good people out there as much as the toxic ones.
 
I'm finding this to be a big problem in our social fabric. Sometimes I call the woman/women out, but sometimes I have to step back and hold my tongue, because I am reacting out of anger and I that usually doesn't help. But this is unfortunately a very loud drum beat right now in our society. I wish more women were speaking up against it because when a man speaks against it, the women just react out of their own anger and they don't listen.
 
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The women get away with that. They actually encourage the men to behave like that imo. But without talking about it because it's almost impossible the same thing goes on with a child that's sexualized IMO regardless of who does it.

It's probably worse for the survivor but I just want to support you. I don't know what happened with my mother and I but I'm pretty sure she sexualized me when I was very young. Wanting to do sex is all I remember I really never was a child.
 
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Does anyone ever feel like our male bodies are vilified too? Like called a weapon? Especially our penises?
I thought I was firing blanks but now I have one more. Powerful weapons those penises.
Joking aside - part of my healing is enjoying being a man and letting those who are misandrists go wild lol
 
Does anyone ever feel like our male bodies are vilified too? Like called a weapon? Especially our penises?
When I was in college, my gender studies professor told us with complete seriousness that anyone with a penis was a potential rapist.

It's bullshit, of course. I don't want this thread to turn into an airing of grievances against women in general, so I'll just say that I think this opinion is held by a very small number of women, most of whom are or have been gender studies/women's studies/sociology majors.
 
When I was in college, my gender studies professor told us with complete seriousness that anyone with a penis was a potential rapist.

It's bullshit, of course. I don't want this thread to turn into an airing of grievances against women in general, so I'll just say that I think this opinion is held by a very small number of women, most of whom are or have been gender studies/women's studies/sociology majors.
Many of the misandrists I've encountered were male (and I had misandry in me too).
 
Many of the misandrists I've encountered were male (and I had misandry in me too).
Thanks for pointing this out! Yeah, a lot of guys hate men too. I think my brother is one of them - a couple of years ago, he made a post on Facebook on Father's Day to say how ashamed he was to be a man. Wow.

It's just as easy for men to call other men toxic as it is for women.
 
As I continue to recover, this seems to be the issue I'm struggling with now. There have been others, and as I overcome one challenge, another one emerges. Nowadays the matter of misandry just keeps coming up. I consider myself pretty liberal, and I've advocated for women plenty, but I've learned that any time I enter any kind of discussion to speak up for male victims, it will not go well. I remember the time I went to a human trafficking conference and one of the speakers talked about women going to Jamaica for male prostitutes, from which she concluded, "How humiliating it is that successful women have to go somewhere else to find sexual satisfaction." I remember the time I called a hotline for help because I was having a bad day, and the voice at the other end, hearing that I was male, said, "We don't offer support for perpetrators." I remember when I said in an online discussion, in response to an article, that "Men under-report, too." and got the reply, "True, women abuse, but not nearly in the same number, and this line often used to deflect the damage men do to women." I remember in another online exchange, in response to the same article--which said men are always believed--I said that it was not true based on my experience and a women said, "I refuse to believe your experience is normative." On top of that, I see the jokes that people can still get away with in media, about men being raped or being beat up by their wives, and it's all supposed to be funny. It's all so tiring.
 
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