Misandry in media (tw)

Something Garth posted in another thread made me think of this. Misandry is currently a trope in the publishing media - and an award-winning one. I can think of three award winners right off the top of my head.

The Power - a sci fi novel in which all women suddenly evolve the ability to send electric shocks, instantly making them stronger than men. They immediately take advantage of this by raping and abusing men and boys. It won numerous awards.

Any Man - no way to describe this other than rape porn. The actress Amber Tamblyn gleefully - yes, gleefully - invents a half dozen male characters in order to have them raped and sexually mutilated by a woman in the most disgusting ways she can think of. I wish I was exaggerating, but I'm not. It got glowing reviews by critics. Tamblyn called it a "metaphor" for when women are raped, but she seems to have seriously forgotten that men are raped too. If anyone wrote a book like this featuring female characters, people would justifiably be horrified. But writing characters just to rape is ok if those characters are men.

Woman World - a graphic novel in which all men have died out, and the world becomes a utopia, of course, because what else would a world without men be. Many of the characters express happiness that men are gone. Again, glowing reviews.

Publishing is, of course, having its #MeToo moment, so we'll probably be seeing a lot more revenge fantasies being published as serious fiction and winning awards. But I find it disgusting.
 
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Alostman

Registrant
This is because "the media" is pushing an agenda that men are evil. The 90's TV shows were no different, men are evil, women are good is all they want. The difference is now the women characters in TV want to act like men because they believe this will make them equal.

Sad how much they want to be men. I feel bad for them honestly, if they didn't have men wanting sex they would all be extinct. Men don't get rid of them because men can't create more men, but again I am sexist, not that women want to help get rid of sexism they just want to be just as sexist.

My thought on women... one word...Worthless lol.
 
Yes, @Alostman, we know, you hate women. I'm looking for a slightly more nuanced conversation here, however.

We can find women's revenge fantasies intensely problematic, and wonder why these fantasies are so successful, without hating women.
 

dark empathy

Registrant
@Lost Man: I've spent too long feeling worthless myself to want to call anyone else worthless, or hate someone just based on what gender they are, had too much of that myself. If a woman is going to hate me because I'm male, yes I'm probably going to feel like hating them right back, but generalisations are always wrong, and I am a better person than those women who claim "All men hate women." even if our crappy ligitimises their hate speak.

Besides, I've met too many decent women myself to make any sort of universal statement about women to be true anyway, not the least the wonderful person I'm married to.

@Strangeways, Yep, this is something I'm noticing myself as well, and very much pull people up for in reviews, though usually if I know a book is too triggering in this way I probably won't read it, though I have run across it several times in other places.

What I find an even worse tendency, is the way now that even fictional villainous female characters are being whitewashed to be either tragically misunderstood, or just products of the evil patriarchy.

This is the reason I'm so anxious to publish my own fiction and indeed articles, to try and say something vaguely sensible, assuming its even possible.

the one thing I will say, is that it seems we are getting to an era now where some more sensible women are indeed getting fed up with this.

I was quite pleased when I ran across This review published by a woman of Katharin Arden's book "The bear and the Nightingale" a book which the author so rabidly insisted that even decent men in the past were overly oppressive and the only women worth noting were women who pretended to be men.

As contrast Here is review I wrote which makes some of the same points, though in a slightly different way.

while the tendency definitely exists, I am noticing a little more backlash these days, or women prepared to admit that not all men are actually monsters, even at my lady's recent training for a volunteer course on rape councilling, she was not the first to bring either male victims or female perpetrators, indeed hopefully the initial kick of the hole "Me too" misandry movement is burning itself out somewhat, for all you'll still get the rabbid idiots, and the paradigm which says women are more valuable than men has not been questioned nearly enough.
 
I, too, have noticed the misandry in not just movies, but TV as well. Men portrayed as rampaging bulls, total schlubs, or fools.
 
Yes, in commercials that show families, the dads are always more clueless than the kids. And now in new-style ads like Gillette's, we're predatory purveyors of "toxic masculinity."
 

rileyk86

Registrant
Misandry is everywhere not just in the media. This feminist delusion that we live in a patriarch is annoying. Women have far more advantages than men. @dark empathy , you say you have met decent women. I guess I've met a few too. But most women I've known have been abusive toward me. Like my mother, step mother and ex-wife. When I was waiting for my last therapist appointment the male bashing talk show "The View" was on. All they talked about was the #metoo movement and how men are evil. No one cares when men and boys are abused and assaulted.
 
Hi Riley86
Misandry is everywhere not just in the media.
I agree with you that there are many places where wounded men like ourselves are at a disadvantage. I experience it regularly. I have come across a few safe places (one of which is here), but they are rare. I'm very cautious now about expressing the deep wounds I experienced at the hands of my mother. Most women get very defensive very quickly around topics like this. It's a big change for me to be cautious around women when I've been such a Momma's boy for so long. A couple of major emotional beatings have cured me of that! Now I look for the support I crave mostly from within myself but also from a few safe sources. The best are men. What to do?

Cheers,

Garth
 

Erik Zachary

Registrant
I am thrilled to see others talking about this. I've seen the uncomfortable trend in the media and just social attitude where it is okay to hate men simply for existing. I worked very very hard to be seen as a man. It seems most people are too afraid to stand up against this narrative that is being forced down our throats. So many, too many examples come to mind.

I had a lot of discomfort around the MeToo thing. It really just became an acceptable way to talk about hating men and dismissing our struggles. When ever I would bring it up people would always fall back to the "are you saying female survivors shouldn't be able to talk about and vent about their struggles. That is rape culture." Then tell me that men can't ever know what it feels like to be a victim and that if men do feel they are a victim it is their fault. In fact the first thing my own mother said to me after I disclosed the fact I was raped was "Now you know why it takes women so long to come forward." and I just wanted to leave.

If I am interested in looking on social media tags for survivor type stuff I only use #MenToo or #1in6. And just on a tangent not directly related to this issue is I wish to god that all the sexual crimes awareness stuff wasn't gendered. Leave it neutral or use both male and female pronouns.
 

dark empathy

Registrant
I will say that this year the misandry seems to be tailing off a bit, or at least the really rabid advocates are doubling down,and while they're not being questioned on their closed mindedness, they're not being universally accepted either, indeed it seems that as climate change is replacing women as the next big buzz word, a lot of people are moving on, somewhat, and while the narrative of little girls as "sugar and spice and all things nice" and men as "toxic " isn't actually being thought about or reversed, at least its not being repeated quite as loudly as it was a year ago, or at any rate I'm hearing about it far less when I look up people's book reviews etc, indeed its even being questioned on places like tor.com which has some truly toxic feminists.
Its also interesting that in the world of sf films, a lot of attempts at female centric axe grinding have failed very badly, partly due to the films writing often just being plane band (starwars the last Jedi), and partly due to the films attempt to do down anyone with a Y chromosome, and while some rabid feminists have attempted to blaim this on some strangely powerful misogynist group who can mysteriously influence film ratings (, in effect its just been that the films in question didn't work.

Indeed, in This article there is a very good discussion of female centric reboots, and while I don't entirely agree (especially with the rather sexist assumption that men want big battles and action films, and all women like cuddly romance and drama), I did think there were some interesting points made.

So, while I suspect it will take another major culture shift to turn "me too" into "men too," it does seem that things are tailing off slightly.

As for decent women, well, as I've said before, when I was in pensylvania with my lady's family, I did notice that a lot of the states could get extremely factional, that someone was either a man or a woman, or a democrat or a republican, or black or white.
There didn't seem to be much by way of nuance, and while I met a lot of lovely people, indeed people seemed rather better on average about talking to the strange blind man than they do over here, at the same time a lot of people's spheres of influence seemed a wee bit limited, EG among my lady's family, the men remained mostly silent unless someone started a conversation about hunting or sport or home improvement, whilst the women talked a great deal, all about the doings of other women and various births and marriages.

In that sort of atmosphere, a movement like Me too would take longer to dicipate and get hold more, since the less similar interests men and women have and the less they could actually communicate, the greater the difference and alienation.

I'm obviously not sure if its like this across the states, but this is one thing I noticed.

By contrast, in the UK people tend to be a bit more on gender grounds, at least among people of a sufficient level of education, although by the same token everyone does tend to be less extravert over all.

So, what I've tended to find, in on those rare occasions in my life I've actually run into a vaguely accepting environment, like my time at university or music school, I tend to run into decent people of both genders, however those occasions are pretty rare anyway.

Then of course there is the extremely decent woman that I happen to be married to, though I will be the first to admit she is an angell.

Luke.
 
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