Been a while since I talked to you here. So much has revealed itself in your world since I did. The deleted messages here I guess show the confusion I was in, but now I feel I see clearly. I sense it’s not safe to reach out in our usual ways. So here I am again.
The pieces of the jigsaw seem to almost be complete. Just your piece missing my love. What is it your not saying, but I seem to know at the same time.
It’s ok, it’s always been ok. There’s a reason my path has taken me this way, a reason I’ve learnt so much here and upon my own self discovery.
You’re not alone, never alone. We’re connected and always have been.
Trust your heart and soul. It rings true. Fear can keep us stuck, it keeps us safe but maybe that safety is an illusion. Maybe not good for us, just something we know we can cope with cos we have for so long. The void a leap of faith is the unknown, but trust yourself, that inner knowing and voice.
Reach for those stars, they’re waiting for you. Be the light I see in you. I’m right here waiting too.
Remember all the times before when I’ve said I don’t care what’s happened? Just come home.
I see your light through the dark.
I will be by your side, as I have all this time. Maybe faltered when the mist of illusion descended. But I know you, I know your heart, I know your courage and strength.
I know the burden. The risks.
It’s time. I’m strong, I’ll go the distance. Come home.
I cried reading this. I cried for you. I cried for him. As a male victim survivor of CSA I know our struggle so easily blinds us of the collateral damage to loved ones. And we so often push away our strongest sources of support. Why? Fear, self-loathing, being overcome by the CSA effects. It's probably a little of all these things.
Your courage is strong, your devotion even stronger. Thank you for being here for him, for you and...for us.