Men can get raped
embersglow
Registrant
Catchy title. Sad but true. I was raped in many ways as a boy, and it continued as I was victimized as a man.
I didn't know it, but it happened. And it was a woman. I was so ashamed of it I couldn't talk about it. She was my lover, and my girlfriend. I spent a horrible two years with her, but I did try to get away.
Now that brings some more shame out. Why didn't I stay away? Without going into details, the main reason is that it was familiar to me. The feelings of shame and humiliation, the fear that no one would believe me. I built a business, and over these two years it has collapsed. I was consumed. I lived mostly as a victim.
And as I would break up with her over and over, then take her back as she tearfully told me she loved me, I worked my way out of each trap.
The real rage I feel is that I was succeptible to
her act. I was miserable, confused, isolated, and basically used.
And as I pull further away, I can see now how obvious she was and is. But it was always obvious to me, and I hated myself for not acting to stay away. The paralells to my past are astonishing.
And a good friend of mine was able to share with me how he was nearly laughed out of a courtroom by a judge when he got a restraining order against his former girlfriend. I am so grateful to him for his courage. And I was able to tell him my story in full detail, and was validated.
No one was there to get my father off of me or to believe me as a boy. Today that old shame is losing its power as I see how much damage he did. It is hard to understand how twisted some people are. It is even more difficult at times to be the twistee, and really tough to accept that me, a big strong man, was led around by the nose by a liar and a cheat.
I didn't really know any better, and today I feel a new strength, because I learned the hard way.
thanks for listening,
Ken
I didn't know it, but it happened. And it was a woman. I was so ashamed of it I couldn't talk about it. She was my lover, and my girlfriend. I spent a horrible two years with her, but I did try to get away.
Now that brings some more shame out. Why didn't I stay away? Without going into details, the main reason is that it was familiar to me. The feelings of shame and humiliation, the fear that no one would believe me. I built a business, and over these two years it has collapsed. I was consumed. I lived mostly as a victim.
And as I would break up with her over and over, then take her back as she tearfully told me she loved me, I worked my way out of each trap.
The real rage I feel is that I was succeptible to
her act. I was miserable, confused, isolated, and basically used.
And as I pull further away, I can see now how obvious she was and is. But it was always obvious to me, and I hated myself for not acting to stay away. The paralells to my past are astonishing.
And a good friend of mine was able to share with me how he was nearly laughed out of a courtroom by a judge when he got a restraining order against his former girlfriend. I am so grateful to him for his courage. And I was able to tell him my story in full detail, and was validated.
No one was there to get my father off of me or to believe me as a boy. Today that old shame is losing its power as I see how much damage he did. It is hard to understand how twisted some people are. It is even more difficult at times to be the twistee, and really tough to accept that me, a big strong man, was led around by the nose by a liar and a cheat.
I didn't really know any better, and today I feel a new strength, because I learned the hard way.
thanks for listening,
Ken