Memory in the Mist......

Memory in the Mist......
R

Redsongbird

Registrant
Yesterday while taking my mother out for lunch we got on to the topic of where we use to live when I was growing up. She in a casual manner mentioned the house "directly" behind our house...The family who was so strict that they did not even watch tv...and the daughter had to sneak out to go over to her friends house to watch. I got a sick feeling in my stomach thats not all the secrets about that place. I have had this feeling before there is a "memory in the Mist"
Tobey
 
Great to hear from you Tobey--let the memory live in the mist until you are ready to have it emerge into the light of day. I am sorry that house has bad memories for you.

I am always surprised at how so many self-righteous sob's act as though they are living saints--yet do despicable things.

Bob
 
Hey Tobey... I've lived for most of my life with these sorts of frustrating-as-hell memories shrouded in mist. I spent the first 4 years of therapy trying to recover ANYTHING from the place of "knowing" something happened and identifying what it was that happened.

All I can say is wait for when it is right to come out for you.
 
Thanks Bob and Sean for your reply. I have had many memories before of course. I just was caught off guard I think because of the feeling I had. Your right though I know it will come in time if it is suppose to.

Tobey
 
Tobey,

I have no memories in the mist. It is all too clear. But I am still here. Maybe a little screwed up, but here. I guess that I never had any memories that I was SO afraid of that I couldn't keep them. When the time comes, you will be big enough to hold what comes. Because you are looking in the dark corners you will see the spiders. It is best to know that they are there.If you catch one, stomp on it for me.

Aden
 
When I first broke the silence to my brother (Who feels sorry for me and worries about me, but does not believe me.), I mentioned a book that had helped me. He practically jumped, turning to me and asking what I had gotten from it. He explained that many people who were not abused had been convinced by that book that they had been. (God help those of us with families full of counselors!)

I recall this because everyone in my family has tried to discredit my memory, searching for where they came from.

What they don't understand is that I did not seek help from books or therapists until the memories came.

First the memories surfaced.

But there is a lot of "mist," too.

In fact, the reason I sought therapy was not to recover FROM memories as much as just to recover more memories.

I wanted to be hypnotized or something so I could bring it all back. I thought only then could I be sure. Only then could I face this stuff head on.

With one particular memory, I long to know what happened next.

I still don't know. But it doesn't matter anymore.

I have learned to trust my memory. The memories are true.

I have also learned to trust my "forgettery." What my soul will not reveal to me, I do not need to see (Even when I think I want to.)

Looking at this response, can you see where my name came from. That's where I was when I joined this community.

I should probably change my name now, though, to "learning2live."
 
Hello Tobey,

It can be rough having those feelings like there is something there, but can't quite remember it, but maybe right now your mind is just protecting you from something you are not ready to deal with yet. Just give it time until you are ready and strong enough to handle it, it will come, when you are ready.

scott
 
Tobey,

I hate those feelings. The tugging at the brain, of 'hello there, I am here, but I won't show myself yet'. Hate it.

Could you maybe talk to your mom more about it? I know something helpful to me, that with some memories that I am not sure of, when they occur, my mother can confirm some them. That help me to think I am not crazy, and that they are not just coming out of nowhere.

I wish you good luck.

leosha
 
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