Meds that Work/Don't Work & Nature of Trauma

Hi Guys!

I was planning on taking a break from posting for a while. But I've been having such a rough time the last couple of days. I want to ask you a few questions and kind of get your opinion on things. Seriously, any input would be VERY helpful. Okay, here goes...

1) I saw somewhere that only one medicine (I think it was Zoloft) is FDA-approved for PTSD. Does anyone know about this? Or do you have any experiences with meds you wouldn't mind sharing? I take a combination of Wellbutrin and Lexapro for my depression and PTSD. I've only been on them for a few short months but I'm wondering if that's the best combinaton for me.

2) All the guys here have experience with SA. And that seems to be the case with PTSD, some childhood history of physical or sexual abuse (or both as in my case). But was there a more recent trauma that kicked it off for you? Like some guys, I know, have had wartime experiences. In my own case, it was a stalking incident a few years ago in which a crazy neighbor was making death threats, making endless hang-up calls, etc. (The daily terror from that adult experience stirred up the daily terror I felt as a kid from my older brother. Does that make sense?) Anyhow, I wonder if you would mind sharing whatever traumatic adult experience you might have had that really put the PTSD in motion. Was there something other than SA? The reason I ask is that I thought I had put the worst of the stalking trauma behind me, now that I was dealing with the bigger issue of the CSA. But something related to the stalking incident triggered me yesterday and it was really bad. So there is still another layer of the onion to be peeled, apparently. Any thoughts on this?

3) This question may trigger some guys.

The reason it might trigger is that I have to describe some physical symptoms to see if they are something you can relate to. Anyhow, let me explain it to you the way I explain it to my friends without PTSD. This is the only real way I know how to describe it to them....

Think of some really scary situation. Like maybe it's a rainy day and a car in front of you hydroplanes and almost loses control. You just avoid a crash but for a few seconds it's like your stomach muscles are tight, your body is churning up adrenalin, your whole system just feels so tense and agitated because of the danger. Then it's over. The switch goes off. Your body is back to normal. Okay, but what if the swtich is stuck? You're not having a flashback exactly. Nor is it exactly a panic attack. It's like this terror stored in your body that is just there. Mentally, you can be in a good mood. But your body is in total fight or flight mode. And instead of it lasting just for a few seconds, it keeps on for minutes, then hours. Do you know this feeling? Because to me, it's the absolute worst. And so distracting that I can't even function. Plus, like I said, it's not really a flashback or panic attack, it's something else. Flashbacks or panic attacks I can handle...but that body terror? God, it is HORRID. Do you know what I mean? Is there some way out of it?

I know this is long. But if you have any advice at all, please help. I AM FEELING SO DESPERATE TODAY. And I want to get some ideas so I can talk to both my therapist and my doctor next week.

Thanks in advance!

Jasper

 

[Leosha]

I will do my best to answer some.

In two years, I have been on SUCH medicine combinations! But finally it seems I am more settled.

I have not been on Zoloft (I think!). But have always been on combination of medicines, antidepressant and something for the 'psychosis' of the DID. Antidepressants, I am thinking I have been on Effexor, Wellbutrin and Celexa. The Effexor and Wellbutrin in combination with each other were rather effective. But also, with that would be another medicine, and there has been quite a few. Xanax, Klonopin, Risperdal, Zyprexa, Mellaril, Thorazine, Haldol (almost killed me, bad bad reaction!) and finally Geodon. I was on Effexor, Wellbutrin and Geodon all together for about 6 months and it was quite effective in settlng me safely to the point I could function and heal more. Now, I am on only the Geodon, half the dose it use to be, and no antidepressant. (But, I am on a medicine called Neurontin for nerve pain, and that also I guess is a mood stabilizing thing). The DID is still present and still quite the issue, but it is not really less stable without all the previous medicines. I prefer to take as less as possible if I can.

Have to run in a few minutes, but will think on your other questions and reply again later.

Wishing you well.

Leosha

 

[RockyMtJoe]

I actually gave my real name to a person on thos place a few days ago: but I care less who knows
who I am. But read on:

Wwwhen the PTSD then called "delayed stress" or "war
neurosis" was first taken to the APA for a doagnostic criteria it was a few years to get the
diagnosis approved.

In the Civil War it was "nostalgia" in WWI it
was "Shell Shock".

I was at a noted meeting of the minds in the 1970's, late when Tom Williams, Psy.D. and
and such pushed the VA to help Vietnam Vets.

So many years later I formulated a new theory
that there was "good PTSD" and "bad PTSD". I am very lucky as I have the good version: it relates to mostly grief, not hatred as to my combat experiences. My CSA was, is or would be the bad variety if it was at that level.

Being "stalked" is the worst I can think of, as
I know vets who see the Viet Cong under every bush or such. A helicopter flies over and they go into
a "fight" mode.

I know that no VC is going to mess with me here in Colorado. I know that no pervert is going to fondle me but I am still afraid of what triggers my memories of SA.

I was lucky as I was able in a few years to stop hating my enemy and as I never really dislike the Vietnamese people, in time I recalled the good times and all the good I did as a medic. But the
grief never stops, nor should it.

My grief for CSA is different: I was robbed of my youth and it screwed up my sexuality and ability to love or just be touched.

I tried evry medication and realized that it was like some 60's song "one pill makes you happy and one pill..." "Go ask Alice"

I devoted my life to social action and helping as I can in good causes: health programs for third world people, here I help migrant farm workers and as today I have a truck load of basketballs, soccer balls and medical supplies to deliver
and that heals me.

Last night I listened to a few Joan Baez CD's:
songs of peace and the cost of hate and war.

I suspect that the CSA makes being stalked even worse as it was the ultimate violation of your adult life. Well I survived combat and all the scenes of this war we now have do engage my grief
mode often. I am not going to ask the shrink for a pill for that.

I suspect that you Jasper are not alone but
you feel lonely and fear that lurking evil
stalker. It is my belief that it is not that single bastard who violated you but you have generalized it and everything that is evil
or a "trigger" is what bothers your soul.

So when my stomach tightens and I start to smell
fear pour out (sweat), I do something, today it is taking the stuff to the kids and a nice stack of medical supplies to the free clinic. Told my love to not buy a set of new dinning room chairs as we had other expenses. I am not saying you go forth and do good but you do as when you post as to help others. Thanks! You help people here and most try to say so. Not all do and we know that some are moving slow.

Do something for Jasper today. I will think of you
when some poor, I mean really sad migrant workers son gets a soccer ball and his eyes light up as
he has never had anything.

That smile is for you today. This kid has no fear of some pervert, but all kids should, and today I
get to help a child. It does not heal my CSA and
such but trust me in a one hour, I am gonna say
"this is from Jasper, my friend"

I hope his smile travels the 1700 miles into
your heart.

Joe

 

[cat4527]

Jasper,
I have been on so many medications it's not funny.
They have not said specifically that I am DID or PTSD.
I am BiPolar and have Schizoeffective disorder anda healthy case of anxiety. I have broken through so many meds that I have to be hospitaized for my own safety.
Right now I am on seroquel, ativan, neurontin, celexa, lithium.
Even with all the meds I still hear the occasional voices and hallucinations. It's much better now though. It has taken years to get to this cocktail.
rik

 

[dwf]

Hi Jasper,

You asked:

1) I saw somewhere that only one medicine (I think it was Zoloft) is FDA-approved for PTSD. Does anyone know about this? Or do you have any experiences with meds you wouldn't mind sharing?

I think I might have written some about meds approved for PTSD. And I think it was Zoloft, but be sure to ask your doc, because I could be way off on that one.

Some ADs are good for depression and anxiety, some not for example.

Here's my med line-up, which has varied some over the last few years, up and down, but not really changed as far as the actual meds.

This has really worked for me. but it has taken time. So many people start and then have initial problems and quit, I think before their bodies get a chance to adapt and for the meds to kick in. It took about 6 months for me to notice a big difference when I first started.

And there are new A/Ds coming out now that are much improved. I hope to make the switch to one soon and begin to reduce the amount I take.

I have been taking most of these for the last 3 years.

Zoloft - I take a pretty big dose--200mgs. (2 pills) daily. Some sexual side effects in the beginning, but gets better after that. Definitely less sexual side effects than the actual depression!! Initially lots GI problems.

Effexor SR - Take 450mg (3 capsules) daily. My shrink has also worked on the timing of the doses to minimize the side effects. This one seems to have had few sexual side effects and to be very effective. It's a bit different than the other SSRIs and works in a different way.

Gabitril - This one puzzles regular docs when I tell them I'm on it. It is often used as an anticonvulsant. I take 12mgs of this day. One in the AM with my Zoloft and Effexor and 2 in the evening for bed.

It potentiates the effects of the other meds; making the ADs work better without having to up the dosage of them. Plus it helps with anxiety, and helps me sleep at night without having to take other sleeping meds, like Ambien or Sonata, both of which I took, and both caused a lot of drowsiness as an after effect.

Gabitril is an augmentor of AD meds.

I would strongly recommend finding a good, caring, conscientious psychiatrist who has experience in treating severe depression, PTSD etc. The family doc just doesn't usually have the expertise.

I am very lucky, by chance, I got hooked up with Dr. G. A young, gay, out psychiatrist with lots of pharmacological know how. He has adjusted my meds many times; takes my phone calls all the time; is genuinely interested in me; understands a lot of the pressures of gay life; knows about Hep C, which I had, and also HIV, which I don't.

One final word, it was important for me to trust my psychiatrist--regardless of whether I liked him or not.

And also to let him give the diagnosis and prescribe the meds while working with him of course by being honest and forthright.

All these syndromes--PTSD, DID, anxiety, depression, manic episodes etc.--have medically determinable significance which can be quite different from what I imagine them to be. There are tests etc. that can help diagnose them properly. If you are bi-polar for example, a lot of ADs can be dangerous to take, so usually one is tested for manic behavior first.

A good, thorough physical is also recommended. I found out that my liver was severely compromised by Hep C when I first started my AD therapy. I was pissed off that the psy doc in New York (a crusty old dude) forced me to get a complete physical. But it's so good he did. The first AD med he prescribed turned out to be recalled for sometimes fatal liver side effects!

You also asked:

2) All the guys here have experience with SA. And that seems to be the case with PTSD, some childhood history of physical or sexual abuse (or both as in my case). But was there a more recent trauma that kicked it off for you?

No doubt about it. For me it was being a witness to the terrorist attacks in NYC in Sept. of 2001. I had moved to Brooklyn in July of 2001, starting a new career, a new relationship, full of hope and optimism. And also a little scared of the changes.

On that day, alone in the apt., from where I could see the tops of the Twin Towers burning, I got a feeling in my gut--I just knew that a nuclear blast cloud was going to come rolling across the East River any minute and obliterate my world and me--and that feeling has finally started to really leave me.

It triggered all the safety/danger, trust/betrayal, faith/doubt, issues plus more. I went to an Al Anon meeting the next day and saw a room full of people all extremely triggered. An abuse survivor spoke and she reminded us all that our wounds had been reopened. Some more, some less. But recovery was possible for us all.

It has taken me the last 4 years and I have spent my life's savings doing it, but I am getting better.

Overcoming my intense fear of flying is one of the last major goals of my recovery that I am still seeking to resolve by using EMDR along with the meds.

Then, you wrote:

Mentally, you can be in a good mood. But your body is in total fight or flight mode. And instead of it lasting just for a few seconds, it keeps on for minutes, then hours. Do you know this feeling? Because to me, it's the absolute worst. And so distracting that I can't even function. Plus, like I said, it's not really a flashback or panic attack, it's something else. Flashbacks or panic attacks I can handle...but that body terror? God, it is HORRID. Do you know what I mean? Is there some way out of it?

Yes there is a way out of it! I had to realize that I didn't get that way overnight (though it seemed like it) and that it wasn't going to be fixed next week!

But it is possible to recover. After my initial period of being triggered (9/ll), the next few months in NYC were terrible.

Constant smoke from the fires raging at Ground Zero, bomb scares every f'ing day, anthrax etc.

I was terrified of riding the subway, had great difficulty being a passenger in a car, had great difficulty crossing bridges, driving on open highways--the list goes on.

Now I can do all of those things and more. Yes, it does get better when I take the actions. A lot of it for me was about being willing--I didn't have to do it all at once or I never would have succeeded.

I just had to do it one day at a time--and that was doable.

The body fears can be greatly relieved by some meds and also by other types of therapy including the standard 'talking' therapy and by coming here and sharing.

It was extremely useful for me to REFRAME my experience in a more positive, recovery oriented perspective.

What set me in the right direction was reading summary of the effects of terrorism on human beings. It was put out by the Natale Institute in Israel, where terror is a daily occurence. When I say the list of symptoms, I realized finally deep inside that it wasn't my fault that I was suffering.

The suffering I was undergoing was the GOAL of the terrorsists and they were 'good' at what they did. They succeeded in terrorizing me.

I think in some ways the abusers in our lives have been terrorists of the most intimate sort.

The recovery is the same it seems.

Lots of professional help, lots of time, lots of kindness and gentleness toward myself, lots of love of which there is an abundance in this world. And in my case, lots of drugs!!!

Now aren't you sorry you asked such a long-winded person these questions?

Guess I needed to write about this again today.

I hope it helps you some, and most of all I hope it gives you some hope. Because hope is real and lasts and carries us further than anything else.

Thanks, Jasper50, you are a real asset to this place.

Regards,

 

[reality2k4]

Jasper, I have PTSD, but it is nowhere near as bad as you describe.

Sometimes, if I cross a road when it should be safe, I suddenly think something is coming at me, and it sends me into panic, but it is fleeting and scary.

You are running with two doses of it together, and maybe your mind is switching between the two.

As for drugs, I do not know because everyone reacts different to them.

You might likt to google multiple disasters and PTSD. I read something on this somewhere but I cannot remember what was said.

I hope you can find the answers because it sounds pretty tough,

ste

 

[sophiesdad]

Jasper:

You can't just look at the FDA approval because many docs often prescribe "off label" which means that they have found a medication useful for something else than what it was officially approved for.

Combinations? I should have stock in half the drug companies. Getting the right medication is a true art for a psychiatrist. Most of the time it's a crap shoot. Try this, wait for 3 months. If it doesn't work, try that.... and so on. And, there are times when you may need to change meds. In the very beginning, Prozac worked for me. Now I'm on Wellbutrin XL.

Everyone is different... it will just take time for your doc to find what's going to work for you. And I think that most of those anti-depressants do nothing more than give our coping ability a boost (IMHO).

Just be sure that you keep reporting back to your doc as to your responses. Chart them if you have to. This will give him a good idea where to go.

Hope this helps.

SD

 

Thanks, guys!

It's one of those days when I've been so on edge. I guess that happens sometimes when I have a really strong, really intense and unpleasant flashback. And that body terror thing? That is so difficult. Plus it's a little discouraging thinking that I still have some work to do on the stalking trauma along with the SA trauma. But you made me smile with your loving words of wisdom.

Leosha wrote:

The Effexor and Wellbutrin in combination with each other were rather effective.

Thanks, Leosha. I'll keep that in mind.

Rocky Mt. Joe wrote:

Being "stalked" is the worst I can think of, as
I know vets who see the Viet Cong under every bush or such. A helicopter flies over and they go into a "fight" mode.

Our little country home in the forest runs alongside a scenic rural highway. During tourist season, motorists frequently stop to change drivers, check maps, or turn around in our driveway. Yikes! I get so hypervigilant sometimes that I have to run to the window to check it's not the stalker. Even though I believe he has long-since moved on to another victim, I still find it hard to totally relax. So I guess that's my version of seeing "Cong" everywhere!

I suspect that the CSA makes being stalked even worse as it was the ultimate violation of your adult life.

When all the harrassment and stalking started, I thought his motive was revenge. Or outright homophobia. But over time, I came to realize that he had some kind of strange fixation on me. Like he would kill Andy and be with me. It seemed bizarre at the time but I was more worried about being raped than I was shot. And all this because I happened to be polite to him and smile a few times in passing. So yes, it kicked up those CSA fears big time. And that's why everything has come spilling out now. But thank God it has. As painful as this all is, I can't imagine waiting another decade or more to deal with my childhood abuse issues! Can you?

I hope his smile travels the 1700 miles into your heart.

Joe, the more I know you, the more amazed I am. Thank you. I can think of no more joyous gift to receive than knowing someone else has been given the gift of joy in my name!

Cat4527 wrote:

have been on so many medications it's not funny.

Cat, I can definitely relate to that. Thanks for sharing. And thanks for being as supportive as you are to all the guys here!

Danny wrote:

This has really worked for me. but it has taken time. So many people start and then have initial problems and quit, I think before their bodies get a chance to adapt and for the meds to kick in. It took about 6 months for me to notice a big difference when I first started.

Six months? Yes, I can see that. Thanks for the reminder to be patient when there is a change in meds. I really haven't been on the Lexapro very long either. Plus the doage was only recently increased.

I am very lucky, by chance, I got hooked up with Dr. G. A young, gay, out psychiatrist with lots of pharmacological know how. He has adjusted my meds many times; takes my phone calls all the time; is genuinely interested in me; understands a lot of the pressures of gay life; knows about Hep C, which I had, and also HIV, which I don't.

Hey, this guy sounds perfect! Is he single? Oh, what am I thinking? My Andy wouldn't like that, would he? And we ARE very happy!

On that day, alone in the apt., from where I could see the tops of the Twin Towers burning, I got a feeling in my gut--I just knew that a nuclear blast cloud was going to come rolling across the East River any minute and obliterate my world and me--and that feeling has finally started to really leave me.

Danny, thank you so much for sharing that. I know you have mentioned before how very much affected you were by 9/11 but I thought you were affected in the way that everyone around the country was. Knowing that you were right there, so close to ground zero, and in those scary times....well, it's no wonder! Thank you for clearing that up.

I think in some ways the abusers in our lives have been terrorists of the most intimate sort

That is a very good way to think of it, Danny. I want to declare war on them all. Of course, some of my battles are pretty modest. Like stepping out my front door when I'm having a panic attack. Or going back to the old apartment building where our stalker once lived. They may not seem terribly important but to me they are minor victories. Thank you!

Now aren't you sorry you asked such a long-winded person these questions?

Are you kidding? You are the best, most eloquent mod buddy a guy could have! How about a cyber hug?

STE wrote:

I hope you can find the answers because it sounds pretty tough,

Thanks. I always appreciate your good ideas. And most of all, your empathy!

SD wrote:

Everyone is different... it will just take time for your doc to find what's going to work for you. And I think that most of those anti-depressants do nothing more than give our coping ability a boost (IMHO).

SD, you are fantastic! That is a great way of looking at it. If I really want to have my antidepressants work best, I kind of have to meet them half way. So thanks for that reminder!

When I am climbing the walls, it's nice to know that you guys will help me down, and set me back on my feet.

God bless!

Jasper

 

[Michael]

I tried Zoloft. The results were absolutely terrible for me.

I felt better, but about 30 days into taking it, I went into atrial fibrillation. Heart arrythmias are a side effect of Zoloft. Since I had previous atrial arrythmia episodes. The GP did not think that Zoloft caused it. However, Anti-arrythmia drugs could not control the a-fib. I had an RF Ablation on Christmas Eve 2003. After that, about the middle of 2004 I began therapy for my CAS. 42 years of keeping it to myself was long enough. In December, the therapist and GP put me back on Zoloft. 30 days into it... BOOM!!! Back came the arrythmia. I was in surgery this time for 12 hours and am still recovering from the effects of being on anesthesia and paralysis drugs for such a long surgery.

I can't help but believe that each episode was triggered and exaggerated because of Zoloft.

My whole point in this is that these are powerful drugs, so just be careful about what you take.

 

[VN]

I do not know so many medicines for emotions. I am rather on few medicines for other medical condition (condition), but only now I start to take medicine (medicine) for my emotions of things. Only yesterday, she(it) gives me the original (script) for Buproprion. I do not know, as it will help me so. I take it two days now only, but my body (body), it feels like similarly to this - tingly, my main feelings, I am become stupid similarly to, and there are seconds of time when I lose, things become black. I am not confident, that I shall wish to use it rather long time to adapt to effects of medicine (medicine).

You ask also, if it - the current trauma which create need(requirement) to search for the help the last damages. There were the few last months for me. To lose my bride. To have the further struggle against my father. To have my mother again try to have attitudes(relations) with me. A recent road accident. But I believe that it is that, really the reason should face to these things, it had the friend who 'was more likely pursued' as you speak about, the person (man) who abuses both of us. It(he) did not know it about me, my history with this person (man). I knew it about it(him) the some people, but not, that it was this person. It was impact to both of us, and the validity arrives to me, that I should appear before it. I have no in the past, and I the smaller person because of it. So now, I do(make) attempt of the some people.

I am not confident, that I understand, you ask what third, so I shall not do(make) attempt of the answer which will be so wrong. I shall wish you good well-being in improvement from the past, as with all here.

VN

 

[ShyBear]

Jasper,

I want to echo what Michael said - psyciatric medications are powerful drugs and can be wildly unpredictable - I'm living proof.

Do any of you guys remember when Prozac really started catching on ? And then the suicide/homicide reports started, ALL of which Eli Lily (pharma company) denied aggresively ? In the wrong dose and/or for the wrong person, Prozac can be deadly.

Sometime in the late 1980's, don't remember when, my doc prescribed Prozac which I took exactly as directed. First night, I had really vivid dreams, thought that was a nice side-effect. Second night, they got more vivid - no problem. Third night, they turned violent - again, no problem, I've had nightmares before, but I noticed it took me a loooong time to calm down after I woke up. Fourth night, the nightmares turned slasher-movie violent, extremely vivid, when I woke up I had to use meditation, deep breathing, focusing & prayer to calm down. At that point, I called my doc, he said the side-effects would wear off very soon, I said OK (reluctantly). Fifth night, EXTREMELY violent, vivid, long running nightmares.

But the kicker was when I woke up. I'm fully concious - and the nightmare is still running in my head, its imagery superimposed over the real world directly in front of me !!! I was TERRIFIED, went for a loooong walk to calm down, then flushed the remainder of the pills down the toilet. I will NEVER take Prozac ever again.

What I was experiencing they now call "Serotonin Jitters", and it's something to watch out for. I've also gotten the jitters when taking high-dose Prednisone for ulcerative colitis.

The other thing that whole class of drugs does to me is that it numbs ALL my feelings - technically known as "Flattened Affect". When my partner died from AIDS almost 4 years ago, I took Paxil for a while because I was worried that I'd go off the deep end into crippling depression. What I discovered was that Paxil made me feel ok, level, but it kept me from shedding *any* tears, kept me from feeling *any* grief / mourning. I knew enough about recovery by that time to know I HAD to feel in order to heal, so I quit the Paxil. And the tears came, which ultimately led me to facing my SA.

I've recently been on low-dose Zoloft, which was fine for a while, but then the flattened affect started building up along with the jitters & I've had to stop it, too.

Jasper, I'd suggest you trust your *own* mind & heart over the opinions of the shrink, but be SURE to keep talking to him. Changing / increasing / decreasing / stopping psychiatric meds can be very tricky and can cause some serious mental health issues in addition to whatever they are being prescribed to treat.

 

[andrew76]

Jasper,

Hey, yes I know very well what your talking about, I operate and 18 wheeler and within the last week I had the very senario play out in Pompano,Florida.I was in the center lane on a three lane highway I-95 going north when I had a car in the right lane try to pass me and we were coming out of a construction zone and a safety cone was in the travel lane of the right lane and the car in the right lane tried to avoid this cone by making a fast move into my travel lane which was the center lane and as they made this move they went sideways went back across my lane the right lane and the breakdown into the wallbarrier bounced out and came back all the way across these lanes and back into mine I had no other place to go and I was loaded down right at 80,000max when the car traveled into the front of my hood and directly in my way nothing I could do but lock her(my rig) down and hope for the best all I remember was eyeballing the driver right before I hit him and his passenger as I could not stop just stopped raining and roads wet so it contributed but as I hit them I saw every expression and as I hit them they went back into the right lane toward the trailer tires(tandems) when nothing I could do but they hit and under the trailer they went needless to say I am living with a severe fatality along with dealing with everything else going on in my life right now does not help but I am trying to get through.


I am on medications as well now neurontin(nerve pain),celebrex(arthritis),zanaflex(spasms)morphine sulfate(pain med for spinal problems) last but not least trazadone.Do these help I believe they do but ultimately it is up to you and your doctor to prescribe the right medications for you to help with the situations your going through like what I have talked about above.

Best advice I have is keep a pen and pad of paper close by when the flashbacks or memories come back write down everything so later on you can go back and read what your experiencing and put one and two together so you may be able to understand things much more clearly.

 

Hello Guys:

I really appreciate your sharing personal experiences with me, especially concerning medications.

Michael wrote:

My whole point in this is that these are powerful drugs, so just be careful about what you take.

Yes, I am glad for the warning about the possible problems with some of these meds. Thank you, Michael!

VN wrote:

Only yesterday, she(it) gives me the original (script) for Buproprion. I do not know, as it will help me so. I take it two days now only, but my body (body), it feels like similarly to this - tingly, my main feelings, I am become stupid similarly to, and there are seconds of time when I lose, things become black. I am not confident, that I shall wish to use it rather long time to adapt to effects of medicine (medicine).

Thank you for telling me that. Buproprion is the same medicine I take. They also call it Wellbutrin. It is medicine for depression. You take medicine for many weeks and then start to feel better. Thank you!

ShyBear wrote:

What I was experiencing they now call "Serotonin Jitters", and it's something to watch out for. I've also gotten the jitters when taking high-dose Prednisone for ulcerative colitis.

Thanks for sharing that ShyBear. When I first received treatment from my doctor, it was for severe asthma. She put me on high-dose prednisone for a short period, to bring the severe imflamation in my lungs under control. So I know what you are talking about. I will have to watch for those "jitters" with the Wellbutrin. That could be what I've been having.

Andrew76 wrote:

all I remember was eyeballing the driver right before I hit him and his passenger as I could not stop just stopped raining and roads wet so it contributed but as I hit them I saw every expression and as I hit them they went back into the right lane toward the trailer tires(tandems) when nothing I could do but they hit and under the trailer they went needless to say I am living with a severe fatality

Hello Andrew76:

I am so sorry to hear of this horrific experience. I'm just a little confused. Did you say that this happened only last week?

In any event, I am very sorry for what you are going through.

Take care,

Jasper

 

[sabooka]

my experiance with meds is very very limited. When I was 16 a doctor put me on an AD. My reaction to it was that I felt there was something wrong. It made me not be able to relate to other people. I stopped it after two months. I have not taken anything like that again. I have done meditation and body work but I know for a lot here that is not enough.

I just want to remind all the medication always has side effects and that we should all be aware of this.
I am not saying that you shouldn't use meds because I know for some people there is no other choice and they can really help.

Just be careful and try to do as much research as you can on whatever you take. Also, if you can get a second opinion.

Jonathan

 

Thanks, Jonathan!

Take care,

Jasper

 

[Bill_1965]

Jasper,

As any medication, they should be as your doctor says. Also remember that the doctors are your consultant and your true and complete honesty with him/her is very important so you get some better results.

Originally I was on an antidepressant. In my case, Serzone. It worked enough that I was willing to pay the large price tag because my insurance wouldnt cover it without going through all the other ones first. But wasnt what it should have been. Everything greatly improved when the treating of the symptoms stopped and treating the cause began.

My pdoc is very good at playing the side effect game. He has explained to me that flashbacks originate in the same part of the brains that seizures do. So, as Danny, I take anticonvulsants. For my PTSD I take Lamictal, it works good for me and has greatly reduced the frequency and severity of flashbacks and greatly increased my mood. It was originally developed as an anticonvulsant but more recently been approved for use for psychiatric uses such as bi-polar disorder and others. I also take Nuerontin, another anticonvulsant, for my thrashing during the night and the jerking that happens as I go to sleep. It is nice that now I wake up in the morning with the sheets still on the bed instead of on the dresser and who knows where. The daily search for my sheets was always interesting. I also take a couple of typical psychiatric medications. Xanax for anxiety.

Inability to sleep as been something I fought with all my life. I tried so many different sleeping pills I cant remember all their names. I started off with Ambien, I might as well been taking Good-n-Plentys. At least those taste good. I went down the list and right through the narcotics all without doing anything for me. Something has been found to work for me in conjunction with the Nuerontin. Its an antipsychotic, Seroquel.

A lot of not cheap medications. The Lamictal is almost $300.00 a month, the Seroquel almost $500.00, toss in my expensive antacid and the generics the total comes to well over a grand a month. Thank goodness my current insurance covers them all.

Talk with your pdoc and let him know you problems and concerns about the medications and let him do the prescribing. We each react differently to all medications, both in effectiveness and in side effects.

I will go on to hazard to guess we all have other issues to deal with beyond the SA. For me it is abandonment by my father and reenforcement by my ex-wife when she left me almost three years ago. That really affects my self-worth. Im not worth being around. BS, still that feeling comes up from time to time.

Your description of a flashback is about as good as I could come up with. Not all of them are seen, tasted, smelled, felt in the fear way. Body memories are a real thing. Part of my abuse was blocked out, the most violent of it. Ive been terrified of heights, my brother used to carry me across bridges because I would collapse at them. Wobbly legs. Still Im like that but am getting better with that. Now I know why, I was hung out of a window of a high rise to get me to let go of that last torn piece of clothing that I wasnt going to give up. I also had panic attacks and problems walking into party stores for reasons that werent known to me, now I know it was because I was sold in some party stores. Today I can walk into them again. Flashbacks that I didnt even know I was having.

Take care,
Bill

P.S. 50 isn't Aged

 

Hello Bill!

That was a fantastic reply to my post. I really appreciate your going into so much depth. And you gave me a lot of ideas to think about.

It is interesting that you mentioned how anticonvulsants have been helping you. Lately, I have this thing that I guess is a body memory. I mean, it's that same feeling of terror. Let me describe it...but let me put a trigger warning in case anyone knows what this is and could get set off just by reading about it.

******Trigger Warning*******

What happens is I'm doing something perfectly ordinary. I'm in a fine mood. Or at least, not in a bad mood. Neutral, I guess. And wham! This unbelievable chill comes over me. Almost like my body is going into a state of shock. From a first aid class years ago, I know that in a state of shock, blood flow kind of shuts down in the arms and limbs and goes to the trunk. And a person in shock is chilled so you cover them with a blanket. Well, that's what it feels like. Only my stomach muscles and midsection feel like they are ready to spasm or convulse.

Seriously, when this happened to me this morning, just about 90 minutes ago, it occurred to me that maybe I should mention these spasms to my doctor. So now I definitely will!

**********

You gave me so many other great points to consider, I can't address them all. But I just want to say thank you for sharing your own information. It really helps. And thanks for reminding me that 50 is not aged!

I should go ahead and probably take that 50 out of my signature line. But when I first signed up here, it was right before my 50th birthday. And I was trying to adjust to the whole idea. So I was going around telling just about everyone on the planet I was 50. (Kind of like a little kid proud to be 5, or 8, or 10. Know what I mean?)

Thanks again,

Jasper