Meditating

Meditating
B

Born to Resist

Registrant
I've been recently trying to use more meditative techniques to clear my mind of the pain so I can focus and not rely on inappropriate techniques to get through the day. But I have two questions 1) Is meditation just another way of numbing the pain and avoidance behavior. 2) What has been some of your experiences with this approach. 3) For those of you have found it effective what websites or books would you recomend.
 
B to R,

I can talk about two techniques (maybe there are really three...) which I have used at times.

One is simply, prayer.

If you can open yourself up to God's presence merely by being still (and you can do this when alone, or just in a rather non-invasive environment) then you can experience a connectedness that does not numb you; it is not any kind of avoidance behavior in my experience.

Particularly, include prayers for your own sanity/clarity, and prayers for those you love or care about. If you can do it (and at this point, I can't), you can even include prayers for your abusers. These need to be prayers for outcomes that you earnestly wish; if you earnestly wish the abuser's early demise, it's better not to pray for that. If you can pray for their soul, for their own healing, it can pay off for you in a surprising way, because it is a way of learning to defuse anger and replace it with a supplication to God.

A nun I met, who was in a contemplative Christian order, told me that there is a technique called "Waiting on the Name of the Lord" that is a contemplative or meditative technique that members of her order practice. It is similar to reciting a mantra from an eastern religion like Hinduism, or like using a mantra from one of its newer outgrowths like TM/Transcendental Meditation.

This technique, whether you use one of Christ's names or a mantra you have been given, or any other word, is just gently repeating the word pattern to yourself, while silently sitting and allowing your breathing and motions to settle. When thoughts come (they may be feelings, phrases, images, sensations, insights silly or profound) after acknowledging the thought, gently return to the word or phrase and continue to settle again until the alloted time is up. If it is some kind of withdrawal into a more quiet than usual state, well, it's only 20 minutes once or twice a day.

There are 'waking' meditations as well. 'Mindfulness' practices can be as simple as taking a walk in silence, whether alone or with a friend. No matter what technique you use, and there are many, it should help you add calmness and clarity to your day.

Even though I pray to a Christian God, if I had to say what religion has the most insight into the human condition, I would say Zen Buddhism. Dr. D. T. Suzuki wrote a wonderful set of introductory lectures on Zen. I also like John Cage's books, especially "Silence" and "A Year from Monday" for their Zen insights and wonderful stories. Zen has its own ways of dealing with thought...and can make meditation quite unnecessary.
 
I sing to myself when I meditate. Something simple , like singing "Alleluia" over and over and over. I also meditate in a dark room and use scented candles.

The only formal technique I learned was to relaxe by imagining all of the negative energy , along with thoughts and pent up strength flowing out of my fingertips...
 
meditating is quite simple, while in a quiet place where you will not be disturbed, concentrate on your heartbeat, by placing your fingers on anywhere you can feel your pulse. when you get distracted, by a thought, simply go back to concentrating on your heartbeat. after you master that, you try to slow down your heartbeat and breathing, enough to calm yourself at will. limit it to no more than 15 minutes, or it can mimic sensory deprivation. it is a very effective tool for calming yourself, and quieting your mind. good luck
 
My T has used meditation with me and it help. In addition to what others have suggested he has me picture myself in a safe place (for me it is sitting on our favorite beach surrounded by my family) and focusing on that moment. Get's me over the rough spots.....good luck. Keith
 
I was urged to practice meditation for years-and avoided it.

The techniques shared here are great-they work if you try.

When my life fell apart and i had no place to go-I finally had no choice but to try meditation. I had to stop the craziness and confusion inside my head.
Fortunately there was a Buddhist meditation center near where I was staying that had morning "sits"'where you could go and sit for maybe 25 minutes.

It was a calm, serene place where they modeled meditation-that helped me discover amvery centering, even grounding practice-it is NOT numbing out the pain at all-it is, for me, discovery of a sacred safe place within that strengthens and calms me and puts my life into perspective.

Good for you for looking into it-give it a try for three weeks, several times a week, then share with MS what you discovered for yourself.
 
For me it is about trying to get calm and grounded... It can be very simply closing your eyes and taking deep breaths, concentrating on your breathing and nothing else...

Music has helped me to meditate in the past. I usually liked listening to something peaceful, relaxing like Enya, Enigma, etc but really anything you like that helps to calm you...

I dont think there is anything wrong with using healthy methods to cope. If it is not harmful for you and helps, why not?

Depending on how far you want to go with it, there are places like Mountain Buck mentioned... It can be a good way to meet people of like mind as well...

If you want different types of meditation excerises, I can give you one my therapist gave me. It involved bringing pure energy into your body. It involved chakras. I didn't fully get into chakras but this exercise helped ground me... If you are open to it, I can run through it for you... It is farely simple and if chakras aren't your thing, I can simplify it even more...
 
There are many forms of meditation. Some of what you seem to be seeking could be achieved through simple relaxation techniques. These practices should be done when you are in a relaxed state already, in a safe environment. Then when you are threatened by intense emotions you can recall the more relaxed state. To gain awareness and understanding of your emotions and thoughts, I would recommend Mindfulness, which is just about awareness of things as they are at the present moment, without judging or interpreting. Once learned, this is something you can do all the time. I usually do mindful driving and as a result am a much safer and more aware driver. I would suggest books or C.D.s by Jon Kabat Zin or Thich Nhat Hanh. The former is particularly good for awareness of body sensations and emotions, the latter for making use of the awareness to heal and grow. I am a psychiatric nurse and often use these techniques with my patients. For me, they have helped me to truly know reality, which I have sought since the betrayal of the sexual assaults inflicted upon me as a very young child taught me to mistrust everything. More importantly, they have allowed me to become the loving happy person I hoped I could be. Sincerely, Ron.
 
I do various meditation type things as well (relaxation) partly because that has been a major part of my journey and partly because I'm a massage therapist. For a long time, there was no way I could quiet my mind or stop myself long enough to allow myself to relax. I had to learn how to allow myself to relax. Now, I build it into my day. It is just as important to me as eating or working. One of the nice things about massage work is that you get to spend an hour in meditative silence.

For me though, meditation/relaxation and stopping to feel in my body is my way of becoming more aware and integrating my mind with my body. It is a very powerful way that I use to help heal myself and recover from the stress/trauma that I've gone through. I've learned many techniques through Dr. Canali of Miami of how to go deep within myself and then release all that comes up. He of course tells me that the more I can let go of, the more room I have for peace (and that's what I have found to be true).

Don
 
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