Me

SleepyMonkey

Registrant
My introduction...

I'm 45 years old, married with two daughters, and I am just now realizing how damaging my childhood was. I was sexually abused by my older sister, her friends, my aunt, a neighbor, and I’ve got a lifetime of being a pervert and questionable behavior. So, hello everyone.
 

KevinD

Registrant
Hello and welcome. Thank you for your openness. I know you will find acceptance and understanding here. I hope you are able to heal and grow.
 

The Bluefoot

Registrant
Welcome you have taken the first step on your journey of healing. You all understand what it is like to live in hell. You find many here just like you.; Please read our stories and ask a lot of question. I understand what it is like to be abuse by many different people. With time and there is no rush you tell your story. I have found the more I tell the more comes out of me the better I feel. Again welcome.
 
I am sorry for what happened to you but grateful that you are part of this community. I wish you strength for your healing journey. It isn't an easy journey but it is worth it.
 
@SleepyMonkey - welcome. This is where you start. This is where you should find love, empathy, and compassion. And there are great resources in terms of other guys who can help you, as well as a lot of reading that will give you insight into yourself.

The biggest to-do when it comes to healing is to find a therapist, who is qualified to counsel those of us who are survivors of trauma and childhood sexual abuse. My suggestion is to find someone who says they treat those things, and who practices psychodynamic and / or psychotherapeutic therapy vs. someone who only uses Cognitive Based Therapy (CBT). Do you have a therapist you are actively seeing?

Again, welcome here. I hope your visits here are extremely helpful to you.
 

SleepyMonkey

Registrant
I have a wonderful therapist and I’m working through this stuff ever so slowly. I’m just trying to keep myself in check and out of trouble, but it’s tough. The anxiety, depression, and poor impulse control seems to be getting worse as I’m uncovering the crap that happened to me. But I’m told this happens before things can get better.
 

kmac

Registrant
My introduction...

I'm 45 years old, married with two daughters, and I am just now realizing how damaging my childhood was. I was sexually abused by my older sister, her friends, my aunt, a neighbor, and I’ve got a lifetime of being a pervert and questionable behavior. So, hello everyone.
Mine is a very similar circumstance. Welcome
 
I have a wonderful therapist and I’m working through this stuff ever so slowly. I’m just trying to keep myself in check and out of trouble, but it’s tough. The anxiety, depression, and poor impulse control seems to be getting worse as I’m uncovering the crap that happened to me. But I’m told this happens before things can get better.
Yep. I would agree with the assessment. We use things to deaden the negative emotional pain, and going through therapy just amps up the feelings and the intensity (it needs to - if we are to heal). So it's no wonder the coping mechanisms get used more during that time. I just told my T that I've been giving myself some grace in that area as I go through counseling. Because it's probably impossible (and might be counter-productive) to focus both internally on memories, feelings, thought and try to deal with outward behavioral crap. Granted, the behavioral crap has a limit that if we go past will cause us more issues that have to be dealt with - so it's not just going hog-wild with coping / acting out.

I'm glad you have a good therapist!
 

ConfusedandAbused

New Registrant
My introduction...

I'm 45 years old, married with two daughters, and I am just now realizing how damaging my childhood was. I was sexually abused by my older sister, her friends, my aunt, a neighbor, and I’ve got a lifetime of being a pervert and questionable behavior. So, hello everyone.
I was also used by a older sister high school girl babysitter among many other females how do i stop the memories and triggers from being with females that age?
 

Not_our_fault

Registrant
I was also used by a older sister high school girl babysitter among many other females how do i stop the memories and triggers from being with females that age?
I was abused by my older step sister and her boyfriend for many years. It’s extremely difficult being intimate and not experiencing the same emotions still. Luckily I have a very understanding wife and that’s they key, communication and someone who understands, it doesn’t go away but it can be eased.

It’s the same with other situations too, she can see if something is too much for me and takes over so I can go get some space. Which is really helpful
 

SleepyMonkey

Registrant
I was also used by a older sister high school girl babysitter among many other females how do i stop the memories and triggers from being with females that age?
As an adult, I find myself scared to death of pubescent girls. I don’t think I’m attracted to them, it’s something else. Almost like they have a power over me and I end up acting weird. Does that make sense?
 

SleepyMonkey

Registrant
I tried to start my story….

 
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