UPDATE - got another response from ["Mr. Assistant"] that filled in a LOT of blanks...(I received the email soon after my most recent Therapy appointment so I had both to ponder at the same time.)
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May 21, 2019
Hi [Kal]:
Here is a synopsis of what I've found. It corroborates your story. Bishop [Regional Bishop of state where abuse happened] and cabinet members of [Regional Governing Body of state where abuse happened] were very helpful in getting access to [Rev. M-P]’s file. I was, actually, surprised that we still had files given the dates we were looking for and that fact that [Rev. M-P] died in 2014. I found your complaint of 1987 and two other complaints against him. The other two were lodged in 1991 and 2007, but interestingly, they too were for earlier incidents. So, while your complaint was the first, the other two were reports of inappropriate behavior preceding your experience. Like so many of these situations and for many different reasons it takes a long time for persons to come forward.
While I cannot reveal the details of the other cases, I can tell you that they resembled yours and dated back to incidents in the late 1960s and 1970s. At least two persons were abused with allusions to others as well. As a pastor for fifty five years, I am ashamed and angry to learn that a clergyman was able to get away with such injurious behavior for so long. It is entirely incongruous with the work of redemption and wholeness and puts a mark of hypocrisy on a reputation that was outwardly portrayed as righteous and loving.
The code of silence that has so long surrounded such behavior is complicit in the harm done to you in 1984. Had it been reported in the earlier incidents I doubt that [Rev. M-P] would have been in ministry at your church in [city where the abuse happened]. It looks like your refusal to be silenced brought an end to [Rev. M-P]’s destructive behavior. At least that is how it looks from the record. Two things were at work. Within months of your complaint [Rev. M-P] was retired. He was also required to enter into a therapy program for such offenders on a weekly basis from June 3,- September 30, 1987. Being out of ministry brought an end to his access to young persons. Hopefully his therapy also put a stop to inappropriate behavior.
I will fill in some details of your story as it appears in our church records. [Rev. DS (female)] was the District Superintendent whose office was in [nearby large city] and she supervised your complaint. The ["GHI" Church] Pastor who accompanied you in the complaint was [Rev. "GH"] (his role was admirable in being the first to accompany you and stand by you after your many frustrated efforts to tell your story). [Rev. DS] met with the two of you initially. [Rev. DS] then reported the incident to the Bishop, ["TU"] who set an appointment in his office for May 14, 1987. Somehow that date got mixed up with you and [Rev. GH], so only [Rev. DS], the Bishop and [Rev. M-P] and his wife [Mrs. M-P], appeared.
[Rev. M-P] tried to downplay your complaint, saying he was a "touchy feely Person" and meant nothing sexual by his actions, and he tried to pawn off what he did with an "everybody does it" excuse. Back rubs and massage are what we do, he told the Bishop. [Bishop TU] didn't buy it and told [M-P] that he had been inappropriate, required him to seek the counseling mentioned above, required him to give you an apology (a copy is in the record) and by next month (Annual Conference) [M-P] was retired.
Another meeting was set for the next day, May 15, in the superintendent's office in [nearby large city]. Everyone came except the Bishop because of prior obligations. The DS acting on the decisions of the previous day reported what the Bishop had done. According to the notes from the meeting you and [Rev. GH] were satisfied with how it was resolved and did not want to bring a further public complaint.
As I indicated the other complaints came later, 1991 and 2007. They arose from different individuals and different times, prior to your experience in [city where the abuse happened]. Each was adjudicated by different District Superintendents and Bishops assigned to the [Regional Governing Body of state where abuse happened] at that time and they were settled in Just Resolutions. In each case reference was made to your settlement and the role that the resultant therapy played in bringing about change in [M-P]'s life. We hope that is true. At least no later cases were reported. It's unfortunate, however, that these complaints did not surface earlier which would have prevented the painful experience with [Rev. M-P] that you had. It may be that your courage to come forward spared others.
Two more things are being worked on. We have people still trying to discern if there were any others in the churches or camps that [Rev. M-P] served who may have been harmed. This is more difficult because there are no actual reports. Some of our information was derived by reading through the lines. For instance, the District Superintendent before [Rev. DS] reported that in 1986, the Staff Parish Relations Committee at ["TUV Methodist"] was not happy with [Rev. M-P] and wanted to have a private conversation with him. Could it be that they had gotten word about what happened to you or were they aware of other incidents? You reported that you had heard rumors to that effect which is why you insisted on telling your story again to prevent any further incidents. These are not easy to parse out but we are working on them.
Secondly, I have sought funding to assist you in your efforts for well-being. Counseling even at this remote time is warranted. We understand that the implications and impact of such experiences are often not felt until years later. You mentioned that you have estimates of what the counseling has cost you. It would be helpful if you sent me that information. I have talked to our Bishop and our Treasurer and they have assisted me in seeking a source to help with this.
I know that [Bishop TU] apologized to you as well as requiring [Rev. M-P] to do so when he received your complaint. No pastor of ["TUV Methodist"] should behave as he did. I too was ashamed when I read those files and heard your story. The church is in the business of salvation, healing and building up the human spirit, not injuring people. We thank you for the courage you had in 1987 and the role you played in putting a stop to things and perhaps saving others. Let us figure out how to help you on your journey to wholeness and a healthy life.
I hope to hear from you soon and [further salutations]!
["Mr. Assistant"]
Special Assistant to Bishop [Regional Bishop of state where abuse happened]
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So, despite what my 35-years-older memory could recall, there were actually THREE meetings that happened with the confrontation (2 years after the initial abuse). My weird memory actually made them into an amalgam of ONE meeting.
The FIRST meeting was with me, the District Superintendent (female) and my pastor.
The SECOND meeting was the "confrontational meeting" a few weeks (?) later on May 14, 1987. This meeting had me, the "DS" lady, the UMC Bishop, The Minister-Perp, and the Minister-Perp's WIFE. My OWN pastor got the dates mixed up and did not show up. I had forgotten this part. This means it was literally FOUR-AGAINST-ONE (and the "ONE" was 22-year-old me!!). My pastor WAS NOT THERE!! Apparently, I didn't care!! I still said what I came to say and stood my ground!
The THIRD meeting was the same as the SECOND, minus the Bishop, PLUS my Pastor. This was the next day: May 15, 1987. This was just discussing the aftermath and the "punishment".
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Again I received the email (perfect timing) right after my most recent T session which I was already a bit raw from. It took me some time to process and sort things out. I FINALLY got the name of my Pastor who stood up for me in all of this (I had forgotten his name). I was able to find him on Facebook and sent him a Friend Request. I hope to reconnect with him soon.
I am SO PROUD of 22-year-old me!!! In my mind, ever since, I had merged the 3 meetings into 1 meeting!! (PTSD thing?? was being alone in meeting #2 too traumatic, so I "updated" the memory?? Had I dissociated?? more things for my next T session!!)
But despite being a bit "raw' from my T session and VERY RAW from the new CSA stuff that had been recently uncovered (that I am still having a difficult time dealing with) - I was actually HAPPY!! So VERY VERY pleased with myself knowing that I stood up to the Minister-Perp BY MYSELF!!!
What a JOY to have this information uncovered.
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Brothers, what are your thoughts???