Clergy Abuse Me vs. UMC (United Methodist Church) ⚠TRIGGER WARNINGS⚠
As I have shared here before, at the age of 20 (but looked about 16 - late bloomer) I was Sexually Assaulted by a Methodist minister. This was back in the mid-1980s.
I was on a thread in the MS Members-only section where a member spoke about sharing his story of previous abuse with the current leadership of his former denomination.
I was inspired by this. So, last Wednesday, I responded to his thread (over several posts)....
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Wednesday at 12:21 PM
you just inspired me - went on to the UMC website, they have "Live Chat" this is what I (JUST NOW) wrote.....
Back in the 1980's, when I lived in [state], at age 20 (though I looked 16) I was Sexually Assaulted by a Methodist Minister. (yes it was reported to the local UMC leadership at the time.) Who do I speak to about my experiences at a national level so that similar abuses do not occur within UMC in the future??
*************************
Wednesday at 12:22 PM
Vicki says:
Vicki says:
I'd suggest talking with the Sexual Ethics staff person at our general agency on the status and role of women. That agency offers resources and guidance about preventing sexual misconduct: http://umsexualethics.org/
Vicki says:
Sr. Director for Sexual Ethics and Advocacy [contact info]
ME:
I am a MALE, the minister was also a MALE...
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Wednesday at 12:24 PM
Vicki says:
Yes, I understand, but this is the agency that handles issues of sexual misconduct.
Vicki says:
Becky Posey Williams, the director there, is a great person to talk with.
ME:
understand - i will give this a try. Thank you Vicki for your assistance. Have a blessed day!
Vicki says:
She can direct you to other offices if that's appropriate for your situation.
Vicki says:
You too!
*************************
Wednesday at 12:30 PM
Sent an email to their website [and to the person directly] - we shall see what happens
*************************
Wednesday at 3:55 PM
I also sent an email to UMC as recommended....
here is the response (just arrived)
[Kal],
First, let me say how very sorry I am that you have experienced sexual abuse by a Methodist minister. I pray you have had resources available to you to help you move forward in your healing from this trauma.
I serve as the Senior Director for Sexual Ethics and Advocacy for The UMC and am on staff at The General Commission on the Status and Role of Women. Our office is located in Chicago. Part of my position includes responding to calls and emails from victims and survivors of sexual misconduct happening within the Church. So, your email has arrived at the appropriate place. I would welcome the opportunity to have a conversation with you. I am available [...details deleted...]
Thank you so much for reaching out to me. My job is 100% about the prevention of and response to sexual misconduct within the Church. You will give me information that is needed and will be much appreciated.
Peace today,
Becky
My reply:
Probably [...details deleted...] would be the best time. Thank you. I am still in therapy (he was also not my only abuser).
- [Kal]
*****
I will be contacting her via phone next week - I will let you know how it goes!!
*************************
Soooo... Fast Forward to TODAY - (4/15/19) - I had a 1 hour interview with Becky. It went very well. She heard my story (as far as I could tell, believed me 100%). She is working hard at instrumenting policies and trainings to deal with current abuses and prevent future abuse towards children and adults within UMC. She is also advocating within the church to come up with a formal "apology" to all past victims whose abuses were not dealt with very well.
She mentioned that since the whole #MeToo Movement started, her office has been inundated with calls from victims of past abuses by UMC leadership at unprecedented levels. Many from people like myself who had abuse happened to them many decades ago.
She also suggested that I reach out to the person in charge of the local church where the abuse took place - even though the perpetrator is more than likely deceased. I have emailed that person and hope to hear back soon.
My personal goal in all of this, as I relayed to Becky, is to prevent future abuses from happening and to be able to reach out (or have UMC reach out) to past victims who may have never been identified to let them know that they are not alone and that help is available for them.
I hope I can inspire others to do the same when confronting Abuses Within different Church Denominations.
--Kal
I was on a thread in the MS Members-only section where a member spoke about sharing his story of previous abuse with the current leadership of his former denomination.
I was inspired by this. So, last Wednesday, I responded to his thread (over several posts)....
*************************
Wednesday at 12:21 PM
you just inspired me - went on to the UMC website, they have "Live Chat" this is what I (JUST NOW) wrote.....
Back in the 1980's, when I lived in [state], at age 20 (though I looked 16) I was Sexually Assaulted by a Methodist Minister. (yes it was reported to the local UMC leadership at the time.) Who do I speak to about my experiences at a national level so that similar abuses do not occur within UMC in the future??
*************************
Wednesday at 12:22 PM
Vicki says:
UM Sexual Ethics
umsexualethics.org
I'd suggest talking with the Sexual Ethics staff person at our general agency on the status and role of women. That agency offers resources and guidance about preventing sexual misconduct: http://umsexualethics.org/
Vicki says:
Sr. Director for Sexual Ethics and Advocacy [contact info]
ME:
I am a MALE, the minister was also a MALE...
*************************
Wednesday at 12:24 PM
Vicki says:
Yes, I understand, but this is the agency that handles issues of sexual misconduct.
Vicki says:
Becky Posey Williams, the director there, is a great person to talk with.
ME:
understand - i will give this a try. Thank you Vicki for your assistance. Have a blessed day!
Vicki says:
She can direct you to other offices if that's appropriate for your situation.
Vicki says:
You too!
*************************
Wednesday at 12:30 PM
Sent an email to their website [and to the person directly] - we shall see what happens
*************************
Wednesday at 3:55 PM
I also sent an email to UMC as recommended....
here is the response (just arrived)
[Kal],
First, let me say how very sorry I am that you have experienced sexual abuse by a Methodist minister. I pray you have had resources available to you to help you move forward in your healing from this trauma.
I serve as the Senior Director for Sexual Ethics and Advocacy for The UMC and am on staff at The General Commission on the Status and Role of Women. Our office is located in Chicago. Part of my position includes responding to calls and emails from victims and survivors of sexual misconduct happening within the Church. So, your email has arrived at the appropriate place. I would welcome the opportunity to have a conversation with you. I am available [...details deleted...]
Thank you so much for reaching out to me. My job is 100% about the prevention of and response to sexual misconduct within the Church. You will give me information that is needed and will be much appreciated.
Peace today,
Becky
My reply:
Probably [...details deleted...] would be the best time. Thank you. I am still in therapy (he was also not my only abuser).
- [Kal]
*****
I will be contacting her via phone next week - I will let you know how it goes!!
*************************
Soooo... Fast Forward to TODAY - (4/15/19) - I had a 1 hour interview with Becky. It went very well. She heard my story (as far as I could tell, believed me 100%). She is working hard at instrumenting policies and trainings to deal with current abuses and prevent future abuse towards children and adults within UMC. She is also advocating within the church to come up with a formal "apology" to all past victims whose abuses were not dealt with very well.
She mentioned that since the whole #MeToo Movement started, her office has been inundated with calls from victims of past abuses by UMC leadership at unprecedented levels. Many from people like myself who had abuse happened to them many decades ago.
She also suggested that I reach out to the person in charge of the local church where the abuse took place - even though the perpetrator is more than likely deceased. I have emailed that person and hope to hear back soon.
My personal goal in all of this, as I relayed to Becky, is to prevent future abuses from happening and to be able to reach out (or have UMC reach out) to past victims who may have never been identified to let them know that they are not alone and that help is available for them.
I hope I can inspire others to do the same when confronting Abuses Within different Church Denominations.
--Kal