Matt 5:44

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I didn't even know it was possible --- I became aware recently that I had not forgiven the courts and the cops, and besides my own childhood abuse, my grandmother was murdered (actually raped and bludgeoned) by a 19 year old neighbor of hers and the police tried to scare my mother into a confession which seriously traumatized her for life and we ended up even losing the property where she grew up (the murder scene). I had heard it was important to forgive people and I had worked though all that pretty well. But I had this inner rage over all the inept handling of all the legal issues, bad judges, IRS (which took the house for $900 in back taxes after my moms break down) or even employers that I felt had wronged me. I was very quick to anger with any kind of company that tried to wrong me. I believe even dealing with the phone company they were getting all my anger for everything. I hope you can understand any unforgiveness held in your heart is poison to you

To me, know releasing them, has given me an inner piece instead of the torment. My objections and woes to the ways me and my family was mistreated will not affect me anymore.
I have a peace I never felt before.
 
I hope you can understand any unforgiveness held in your heart is poison to you
I'm tired of Rage/anger it poisons almost everything in life. I have been trying to forgive and I had never thought about forgiving the legal system for the abuse they were complacent in and responsible for. My forgiving is for me the people that abused me can all go to hell, I would not voice forgiveness to them. Most are dead or very old now. It has helped me some to forgive in my heart trying to move forward without all their baggage that seems to stay connected to me. Thanks for another direction to look.
 
Interesting this is the LAST post of a member who was removed from the website, asking if we can forgive as that bible verse suggests. I wonder if he was pondering his own acting out behavior... here and elsewhere perhaps. One has to wonder about someone deemed to be a bad actor who would ask that question. Of course, we'll never have his response as he promised in the lead post.

When working the Ninth Step in a 12 Step fellowship it is made clear the amends are made not FOR the other party, but to relieve us of the burden of carrying the resentment. It seems a very refined spiritual practice to do such a thing when carrying so much pain from trauma. What a journey this is! It is important to remember that forgiving others in NO WAY absolves them of responsibility for what they did. It is not a "get out of jail free" card. It simply unburdens our soul so that we can claim our aliveness. I'm still working on that one.
 
When working the Ninth Step in a 12 Step fellowship it is made clear the amends are made not FOR the other party, but to relieve us of the burden of carrying the resentment. It seems a very refined spiritual practice to do such a thing when carrying so much pain from trauma. What a journey this is! It is important to remember that forgiving others in NO WAY absolves them of responsibility for what they did. It is not a "get out of jail free" card. It simply unburdens our soul so that we can claim our aliveness. I'm still working on that one.
Yes - exactly. Thank you for saying this so well. I, too, am still "working" on that one - but, I believe, that is how this works - we just make a decision to act in faith - that "act" is to restrain ourselves from returning evil for evil (revenge) and from allowing feelings and/or thoughts of anger and rage rob us of any joy or peace. I did not know that the person who posted this topic was removed from the website. I am just curious how you would know such a thing? You are such a wise man and are gifted with an ability to put things in proper perspective and share in a way that is able to be understood. Thank you.
 
I'm reading tea leaves IA about Horizon. I do my best not to get caught up in the intense emotions triggered when something like this happens but I read a few threads on the aftermath and there are references to him. A person who felt attacked in Chat, I believe, raised a concern and moderators did some research. From what I understand Horizon was removed from the site. If you click on his avatar you will discover This user's profile is not available. His profile WAS available previously, and this is his last post so far as I can tell.

Blessedly, the terror I'm carrying has nothing to do with any perpetrator other than my mother, so I'm not too concerned about a bad actor finding his way onto the website. NO, it is not optimal, but I don't feel vulnerable because a person somewhere on the planet is acting out his pain by playing games with us. I know others here do feel such vulnerability so it is important for moderators to step in under these circumstances.
 
Ten years ago when I was still Site Administrator here a bunch of us from here and elsewhere ended up at the Harpo Studios in Chicago for a taping of the Oprah show. Oprah that day had Tyler Perry as a Co-host along with her on the set. One of the things that struck me at the time was that both Tyler and Oprah made the statement that "Forgiveness is the act of giving up all hope that your past could be changed to be something different." At first I was uncomfortable with that statement, but the more time that passed the more I realized that it is true.

Forgiveness isn't for the person who wronged us. It is for ourselves and our own peace of mind. The other person is on their own and may well seek our forgiveness but the ultimate act of forgiveness is still for us in order to ease us away from carrying around the twin poisons of resentment and hatred. Yes, the past is ALWAYS going to be what it was. We forgive to cleanse our hearts and give ourselves peace.
 
When I forgive someone it is freeing me. In the case of.your perp, you can forgive him so that his soul could be forgiven, but that does not clear him for what he has done to you and others. The Apostle Paul talked about forgiving and off ender's soul but handing him over to Satan for the destruction of his flesh. My perp, he moved away shorrtly after the incident and I never saw him again. He lured me into his house and.did.some.nasty things to me. Should I forgive him? I have prayed that God would not let him do that anymore. But should.i.forgive him?
Excellent topic, by the way!
 
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I was raised a Christian and feel I still am though I struggle with how some choose to use the Bible to persecute or hate others.

As for that passage I guess to me it’s not my place to use hate however I also feel my situation is different as I struggle with the good they did for me as it was family. The abuse part which I still at times hate admitting they did abuse me.

it may be a way of saying if we do as the the passage says it helps free us, to help us heal and move forward. Just my opinion though.
 
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