Massage

[MrDon]

I am sharing this with everyone just as my way of really letting some of this sink in to my brain. For those who may not realize, a week ago I started in Massage Therapy school. It will be a personal growth process as well (already is) but I am looking forward to that.

Tonight I had a guy come over from the school (he graduated about three years ago) and give me a massage. The tension was building up a little too much so I wanted to tame the tiger.

Anyway, I noticed a couple of things. One was that I was having a very difficult time relaxing. I'm not sure if that was because he was here in my house and it was actually triggering some patterns from my past or what it was. At no time was he unprofessional or was I scared of him as a person, but I noticed this. I also noticed that from the various massages I have had, that sometimes a muscle feels real good when it is worked on and then at other times like tonight it gets a little ticklish. Not sure why, but just noticed that.

He did give me some feedback that he noticed I was having a hard time letting go, relaxing... letting him do his work. He said he really noticed it when he was working on my head. The feedback he gave me was helpful because like he was explaining that if I keep complete control like I was doing, he is not able to work the muscles like they are needed. This in turn keeps the tension and stress in. I no that the control comes from the past and part of my survivor mentality but it was just an interesting point and observation by him and myself.

Don

 

[Wuamei]

Don:

I have a massage therapist I've seen for a few weeks in a row now, whom I've also been to a few times before.

She has shared with me, even today, about relaxing & letting go, especially my head. I guess we are afraid of losing our heads, of losing control?!

But she also said I've made good progress and am letting her do her work much more than I was.

Don't know if I could let a man massage me, probably becuz I was raped by homosexuals when I was about 10.

Then again I was incested by my mother and an aunt and molested by female babysitters, yet I've had surprisingly little difficulty with the touches of my current massage therapist. Not relaxing, that's a problem I've had with everybody & everything.

I even thought being massaged by a woman might be sexually triggering, but that's not been the case at all.

It has actually helped me experience the fact that not all touching is sexual, whether in a good or in a bad way. It is very therapeutic touch both physically and spiritually.

Don, I think that you as a survivor being in massage therapy school is remarkable. You know this better than I do, but I want to affirm you: I have a feeling you will find being a massage therapist to be a very healing experience, not only for your patrons but for yourself.

Good for you!

Wuame

 

[MrDon]

Wuame,
I appreciate you sharing this with me. I read it the other day but just didn't have enough time to respond and I wanted to let it sink in a little.

It's been a different experience getting a massage from a guy and that was probably some of the difficulty I had. However, I am a person that those are the things I will hit head on and I really challenge myself because it is where most of my growth occurs.

I plan on doing some more work with this guy so that I will begin to relax. Plus I just started Yoga today so maybe me and my body will become more connected.

Don

 

[Wuamei]

Hey Don, I'm taking even longer getting back to you; I've been away, for work.

Hitting the things that challenge you the most head-on is both smart & courageous. I need to work on that myself.

I think the mind-body connection is of vital importance. At least in my own life, when one suffers so does the other; when one is exercised, supported, and nurtured so is the other. Yoga, Tai Chi, and meditation in general seem to be good ways to do this, tho I've tried Yoga & Tai Chi only briefly (TC especially is kinda painful for my fibromyalgia, but I'm working on adapting that, and Yoga, to the water, where I do my exercises--aerobics). I like to meditate especially in the water but don't do enuf of it.

You may already be finding that massage & meditation are easily blended. I'm especially finding this with something my MT & I have been doing lately called Thai massage, which involves more stretching and movement.

I'm sure your massage and the yoga will go well and will help you find a healing mind-body connection.

Be Well,

Wuame