Marriage Counseling
My wife and I will start marriage counseling in early January. We have such a strange relationship. We love each other, enjoy being with each other and laugh a lot. But we both avoid conflict which leads to resentment. And we both suck at communicating. I am terrified of being in counseling individually to deal with my CSA while also addressing issues in our marriage. It feels overwhelming. I know I need to improve how I relate with my wife. But I also need to improve how I relate to myself, my God, and my friends. Sometimes it seems too much. Next week my counselor wants to lay out a framework to help me know if I can do both. He wants to take a 'wait and see' approach to whether I suspend my individual counseling while I do marriage or whether I can do both in parallel.
I worry about suspending individual counseling. I heard someone joke that counseling is like paying someone to kick you in the balls. I worry that if I stop it for awhile while I do marriage counseling that I won't want to come back. My wife has said repeatedly that she doesn't want me to do marriage counseling if it feels overwhelming for me. But she is been in limbo for a year while I try to get my act together. I feel like I owe it to her to try. I wish none of this stuff happened to me. I wish I didn't bring so much brokenness into my marriage. I wish there was an easier way.
I worry about suspending individual counseling. I heard someone joke that counseling is like paying someone to kick you in the balls. I worry that if I stop it for awhile while I do marriage counseling that I won't want to come back. My wife has said repeatedly that she doesn't want me to do marriage counseling if it feels overwhelming for me. But she is been in limbo for a year while I try to get my act together. I feel like I owe it to her to try. I wish none of this stuff happened to me. I wish I didn't bring so much brokenness into my marriage. I wish there was an easier way.