Lying and obsession

Lying and obsession
E

embersglow

Registrant
Hi All.

I want to toss out a topic. Lying. Pretending. Creating a reality where good things happen. I do it a lot, and it takes up so much time. Obsessive thoughts.

Fear triggers it. Fear, then shame that I have lived like this, and fear that others will be mad at me for what I have done and not done. So I act like I have been working when I have not, and projects are unfinished, and deadlines past.

I've done this all of my life. Way back in school. I never did one paper, but became an expert in excuses.

Whew. And the time I spent in non-reality. Making up what I thought were believable stories. And I was attracted to women who lied. I just had a 2 year relationship with a woman who has recently admitted she is a pathological liar. 2 years. It was horrible, and I kept relentlessly pointing out her lies, and she kept relentlessly lying and covering them up.

What fun!

I am grateful to her though, because this morning I saw my inside auto pilot. And I was creating a scenario about a co worker and what I was going to tell him today about why I was behind.

And I missed saying hello to the world, and enjoying the sunrise. This is a good awareness, as the therapist would say to me!

Anyone else relate? I must have needed to lie at one time. Now, I want the truth and the peace of that.

Ken
 
Ken
I was an olympian liar, I had to be to cover up. But it became a way of life, and a way to have what I considered a "normal" life. I would make stuff up just to have something to talk about, just because I thought my life was so unimportant to other people.

There is definately peace in the truth
Lloydy
 
Men,

I too have struggled with lieing. I believe I did it because for so long I felt my "truth" was not enough. "I" was not enough. Therefore, anything I said or did was somehow flawed.

Yes, I have struggled with low/non-existent self-esteem for as long as I can remember. But, I am doing a little better now thank God. And, I often know without a doubt that my truth is enough! No matter what anyone says. And, if they do not like it I know exactly what they can go do.

rafael :)
 
Lying, white lies, half truths, complete fabrications, procrastination...been there done all that
still at it...exaggeration, for me it was all about control I guess, me being in control of my reality. Saying what I thought others wanted to hear. Never able to say "no". Always agreeable, always willing to please, whatever it takes, when I get around to it...
 
Orodo:

I get where you are coming from friend! I have done these things too. For me it was about wanting to feel safe and accepted. I am glad I do not have to do this crap anymore.

rafael :)
 
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