Lupron and Male Sexual Abuse Survivors


It has been a long time since I have posted in this forum, and I am pretty certain I am coming to the end of my journey of a relationship with a survivor. My experience has been different than that of many, and I hope that maybe what I have learned can be helpful to others. I met my guy when he was in treatment for cancer and on lupron, which I have later discovered is used a treatment for paraphilias and sexual offenders. My guy went off the lupron in May, 2021, and it has been startling and disturbing to watch his behaviors and very self change as the lupron has worn off - and change in a very negative way. Somehow the lupron helped ground my guy, kept hi stable in a way he could begin to find himself for himself and start to heal himself. All that has been gradually eroded as the lupron effect has worn off. My guy had said that his cancer was the best thing that ever happened to him, and that he was a far better person than he had been before getting sick, and I now understand why. The man he is now becoming is not someone I would have gotten involved with. I don't want to go into the details, but I now see a predatory side of my guy emerging, and a shallowing of self along with a loss of humanity. What is so heartbreaking is that I got to see the guy he could have been absent the long-term sexual abuse he went through as a boy. He seems fixated on a type of attention I expect his abuser had on him, and that effect was definitely there when he was on the lupron, but it was more muted and not central to who he was. It seems to be a need he has, to keep getting this type of aberrant attention - and I recognize in myself a much muted version of that type of attention giving. This experience has enabled me to work with an analyst on my own deep unresolved issues and I am proud to be able to say I have come so much further in my own healing as a different type of survivor than I ever though possible. A lot of this work was because I felt the real love my guy had for me, and that pushed me to want to be a better person for him. I think we helped each other be better people during the tie he was able to be really present with me.

Anyway, I do want others to know about the possibly beneficial effect lupron and other GNRH agents can have for men with sexually related fixations and "addictions" or hypersexualities. These are potent drugs and have so many bad side effects I am wary of recommending even thinking about them, but I know how many of the men who frequent this forum long for some answers to help them gain better control of their lives, and I want to point out these drugs. I would say being on the lowest possible dose, on a monthly or twice monthly regimen might allow less bad side effects and better life quality than the longer term 3 or 6 month versions. From my experiences with my guy, and research into the metabolic effects of the GNRH agents, I do not think it is the testosterone lowering effect than nixes the paraphiliac urges, though it does make the sexual urges less intense. It seems to be the other effects in the brain the GNRH agents have that create the break with the fixations and needs that ere set in train by the early lifetime sexual abuse.

Anyway, here is a link for those who want a starting point for research:

Thank you to all of you who taught me so much as I started out on my journey into a relationship with a survivor. I admire the courage you all have in continuing to deal with the after-effects of the wrong perpetrated on you when you could not have even had a clue what might resonate from the experience decades later.