Lost a job due to a trigger

[Bill_h_pike]

I found a part time job shelving books at the local public library. I liked the job but almost certianly lost it due to a trigger.

I try to only look at the filing number of the book to avoid getting distracted by the titles. I was shelving a cart of book when my eyes wondered the the title of a book. As my luck would have it the title contained the words "sexual abuse." I dropped the book and began to cry.

I was crying so loudly everyone in the library could here me. My supervisor came to see what the matter was. I just ran out of the library when I saw her. I hit underneath a bridge and cried for an hour.

I eventually managed to regain my composer and went home. My boss must have called home because my parents tried to talk to me right when I got home. I just ignored them and went straight to room. I feel guilty blowing them off but I really didn't feel like talking about how I almost certainly lost my job for such an embarrassing reason. Even if I didn't loose the job I never want to show my face in that library ever again.

 

[lostcowboy]

Hi bill, I can understand not wanting to go back. Could you maybe talk on the phone, or email your supervisor about it? Being that she is a lady she may be more understanding than a guy. I am not trying to push you to do that, its just a suggestion. You are the one who would know best.

Take care,
Clifford

 

[roadrunner]

Bill,

I am so sorry you got triggered like this; thse things can really be rough, and yes, they are difficult to bounce back from.

But I hope you WILL bounce back, my friend. You reacted to what happened in this way:

Even if I didn't loose the job I never want to show my face in that library ever again.

I can well imagine how you feel, but I hope you will fight back - you CAN do it.

Can you try to go back to your parents and tell them and ask for their support? That's what survivors need to do - ask for what they need. You did nothing wrong or stupid!

Then see what they suggest about approaching your supervisor at the library. They will help you find a way to explain what happened without going into too much detail.

In my opinion there's no reason for you to lose your job over this incident. But it is an important moment. Right now it remains to be seen whether this will be a frightening setback or an empowering step forward for you. With your parents' help it should be possible to make sure it's the latter.

Much love,
Larry

 

[Muldoon]

Bill
I can totaly relate to being tiggered at work and crying out . I worked at a printing plant nights and mostly alone so unlike you noone knew. We printed books for St Marys Press and some of the matterial was very tiggering.

What Larry says is very important.

Right now it remains to be seen whether this will be a frightening setback or an empowering step forward for you.

Bill this could be very empowering for you. I am not saying that you should go back to that job but help yourself to grow stronger from this experence.

Tom

 

[Paul1959]

Bill,
I can totally understand the feeling of embarassment and feeling like you'll never go back there. But, could you start to think about writing a letter to your supervisor? I can understand being afraid of talking face to face. I have learned in my short journey of healing, that people are amazingly understanding of this - man or woman. I'll bet you didn't lose your job. If you never go back or communicate, you will, but I'll bet anything that your supervisor will help you come up with a strategy to deal with triggers like this. Like leave immediately or go to a safe room. I know this. My wife is a librarian.
Love
Paul

 

[reality2k4]

Bill, I hope you can get back to your job.
Triggers are out there everywhere you turn, and it is so hard to deal with them when so young.

I hope you can let it empower you rather than get you down.
We're all behind you,

ste

 

[Leosha]

Bill,

I am sorry this happened. There are times when the triggers, they are not well controlled, for certain. I know it is feeling of embarrassment and shame. But again, the shame, it is not yours.

I do not know if you have gone back to library, or attempt to retrieve your job. But my soul hurts for your pain, and I hope you can feel better of the situation one day.

Leosha