Lordy, now what do I do?!
POSSIBLE TRIGGERS
Its been quite a while since I have been totally floored by the experiences in my life but......
For the past couple of years I have befriended a single mom(around early 40's) and her totally adorable seven year old boy. She has had a long history of drug and alcohol abuse but is in a recovery program now and is doing well. Sometimes when we talk, she relates her experiences when she was a user. The father of her child pysically abused her enough to send her to the hospital(and she was pregnant besides at the tim eof THAT incident) and the boy hardly knows his father at all because his mother left his butt after that never to return(thank goodness for that).
At any rate, very slowly, I have become somewhat of a father figure to him(which is great for me and him, I think). During our lastest talk(like yesterday), the mother confided that while under the influence of some drug/alcohol cocktail, she had sexually fondled a twelve year old boy. I did not say a word. She knows nothing about my CSA history. She must have seen something in my face though because she started saying it wasn't that bad, that it was just fooling around, boys have fantasies of being with older women all the time, etc. She would have to have been in her early 30' s at the time. The boy also initiated the sexual contact by fondling her breasts but the responsible adult would have removed the offending hand and left that situation if not alert his parents, at least. I told her this but ignored many of the emotions this revelation produced within me.
On the one hand I am a pissed off CSA survivor and on the other I am a supporting friend realizing she was in a drug-induced state at the time and she is clean now. I also know people minimize their wrongful actions at times as a defense mechanism against their own sense of guilt and shame.
So, any feedback would be welcome.
Thanks.
Its been quite a while since I have been totally floored by the experiences in my life but......
For the past couple of years I have befriended a single mom(around early 40's) and her totally adorable seven year old boy. She has had a long history of drug and alcohol abuse but is in a recovery program now and is doing well. Sometimes when we talk, she relates her experiences when she was a user. The father of her child pysically abused her enough to send her to the hospital(and she was pregnant besides at the tim eof THAT incident) and the boy hardly knows his father at all because his mother left his butt after that never to return(thank goodness for that).
At any rate, very slowly, I have become somewhat of a father figure to him(which is great for me and him, I think). During our lastest talk(like yesterday), the mother confided that while under the influence of some drug/alcohol cocktail, she had sexually fondled a twelve year old boy. I did not say a word. She knows nothing about my CSA history. She must have seen something in my face though because she started saying it wasn't that bad, that it was just fooling around, boys have fantasies of being with older women all the time, etc. She would have to have been in her early 30' s at the time. The boy also initiated the sexual contact by fondling her breasts but the responsible adult would have removed the offending hand and left that situation if not alert his parents, at least. I told her this but ignored many of the emotions this revelation produced within me.
On the one hand I am a pissed off CSA survivor and on the other I am a supporting friend realizing she was in a drug-induced state at the time and she is clean now. I also know people minimize their wrongful actions at times as a defense mechanism against their own sense of guilt and shame.
So, any feedback would be welcome.
Thanks.