Looking to rebuild from my past.
Looking to rebuild from my past.
- Thread starterMichgem
- Start date
Really took a backslide last night. I really got depressed and was not really thinking. I hurt myself on ways that one of my abusers would. I still ll don't know why or really what pushed me. I have never done anything like to that.
It scaresvthe hell out of me. I was doing good even with my sexual addiction problems and now the triggers are really bad. I am so frustrated today.
I left a message to get an appointment with my counselor. I have not been able to get my mind off one night and all that went on.
It scaresvthe hell out of me. I was doing good even with my sexual addiction problems and now the triggers are really bad. I am so frustrated today.
I left a message to get an appointment with my counselor. I have not been able to get my mind off one night and all that went on.
Hey Michgem,
I'm really sorry to hear of such a bad night. When one thing after another, after another piles on it seems even worse. Hope you can get an early appointment to help sort out all that you're dealing with right now. Your post today was a bit over a month ago since the previous one, so that's some progress of which you should be proud.
I hope you'll hang in there. There is light at the end of the tunnel, it's just a long, long tunnel.
My thoughts are with you in this difficult time.
CJ
I'm really sorry to hear of such a bad night. When one thing after another, after another piles on it seems even worse. Hope you can get an early appointment to help sort out all that you're dealing with right now. Your post today was a bit over a month ago since the previous one, so that's some progress of which you should be proud.
I hope you'll hang in there. There is light at the end of the tunnel, it's just a long, long tunnel.
My thoughts are with you in this difficult time.
CJ
I sit here tonight and really have been thinking over the past 48 hours. I looked back in my journal and compared my last relapse and what all happened within that 48 hours. Both have lack of sleep prior and dwelling on past too long.
I have most of the time, even when I was young been able to look back and really reflect and dissect situations. I just need to be able to read into situations as they happen and change how I do and react.
I know it has to be some from the anger of "allowing" and anger of "what they did" that my mind starts to fog out what is going on. It is the same feeling I had when the abuse happened. I need to not allow the fog and keep my mind clear and now stand strong against the memories and anger.
Also I did have a co worker who jokingly made a sexual motion at me. Some of these I can brush off while others are bad triggers for me becoming frustrated.
I have most of the time, even when I was young been able to look back and really reflect and dissect situations. I just need to be able to read into situations as they happen and change how I do and react.
I know it has to be some from the anger of "allowing" and anger of "what they did" that my mind starts to fog out what is going on. It is the same feeling I had when the abuse happened. I need to not allow the fog and keep my mind clear and now stand strong against the memories and anger.
Also I did have a co worker who jokingly made a sexual motion at me. Some of these I can brush off while others are bad triggers for me becoming frustrated.
Michegem,
Stay strong, you are not alone! When I backslide, and I do, I try very hard to forgive myself first, and let it slip into the past with the rest of the garbage. Accepting that things have happened and moving of from them is one of the things we need to learn. It is also one of the hardest, I know. Keep at it, we are here for you.
Freeman
Stay strong, you are not alone! When I backslide, and I do, I try very hard to forgive myself first, and let it slip into the past with the rest of the garbage. Accepting that things have happened and moving of from them is one of the things we need to learn. It is also one of the hardest, I know. Keep at it, we are here for you.
Freeman
