Looking for support

Looking for support

Vishireth

New Registrant
I'm new to the site and came here to continue my own healing. The abuse I suffered as a kid causes a lot of damage and it took about two decades before I was finally able to get the right kind of help and support to finally start to truly heal. An important part of that journey for me has come in the form of helping others. As a licensed mental health professional with specialized trauma training I have had the honor to help others who had identified as victims receive the support they need to realize their own strength and resilience to empower themselves and claim their survivor status. We are a truly remarkable bunch of folks. In any event while that has been instrumental to my healing it has also occurred behind the professional veil. I hope to one day run a male survivor support group but don't feel it is right for me to do that until I have had more open and mutually supportive interactions with other male survivors. I would like to say I'm doing that electronically and anonymously purely because there are no in person groups within a six hour drive. While that fact is true I also know the bigger issue is that I'm not ready for that and this feels safer. It is almost impossible to physically talk about the abuse even with my wonderful wife who is caring and patient and supportive. It takes every bit of energy I can muster to try to force the words out probably because of how strong of an impression was left in me never to tell a soul. But I can write about the torture I went through and that is making it easier to talk. So I'm hoping this site can support my ongoing healing by connecting with others and helping me prepare to serve other male survivors in a horribly underserved area. One artifact of my abuse is that it forced me to be so unwavering self reliant that I am horrible at seeking and accepting support. So for my first baby step I am seeking advice or guidance on how I can learn to navigate this site and become a part of the community. As an aside or maybe a gift to others I just want to apologize that there are so many mental health professionals who don't know how to effectively help male survivors. I have worked with some as a client and others as a colleague. Fortunately more and more professionals are getting better training on this so if you have unsatisfactory experiences with therapy please don't give up on the process but please do make sure you find the right fit. Ask your therapist what kind of training they have for trauma informed care or in they use evidence based trauma centered treatments. If they give you a weird look and a BS response don't feel bad about finding another provider. And if you are lucky enough to have found the right provider please let others know. Shining the light you have found can help guide others out of the darkness. Thank you for giving me a place to share this and to join in our journeys.
 
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****** STANDING OVATION ******

Hi Vishireth

I couldn't agree more with the observations you have shared with us.

I had to face my abuse 25 years ago and even though I was in a very large cosmopolitan city ... there was nothing!
Times have changed ... albeit at a snails pace ... but you are right.

I believe the mental health care providers of today are far better informed about male survivors and the unique challenges we face ... separate and apart from those of women.
Is it enough?
No ... but ...

I am grateful for the strides that have been made and am heartened by the certainty that it's getting better and better ... and not just in the ranks of professionals like yourself but in society at large.
For both professional and laie persons alike wishing to support us there are now resources available and a rapidly growing body of work for all to reference ... like MS.
Without a doubt the most important gain of all ... acceptance.

I encourage you to continue in your efforts to learn and grow not only for your personal well being ... but for all of us ... and of paramount importance ... for the boys yet to come.

Because of men ... and women ... like you I believe the youth and young men of today have a far brighter future than those of us who suffered in the darkness of yesterday.
We are no longer dirty little secrets.

Welcome my friend.

(((((( Vishireth ))))))

Sharky
 
Hi Vishireth - WELCOME

I'm glad you've joined MS as both a survivor and as a licensed mental health professional. Your insight from both ends of the spectrum should be invaluable.

Even though you experienced abuse as a kid, it's good to note you've used that early experience to help guide you toward helping others.

I would like to emphasize again a point you made.
[quote:Vishireth]if you have unsatisfactory experiences with therapy please don't give up on the process but please do make sure you find the right fit. [/quote]

Welcome
 
vishireth

Welcome to Ms. Many words of wisdom have already have been said. You will be vauluable to us as I hope you use us as a resource to confirm your healing path.

Ws
 
Thank you all for the warm welcome to the community. I am excited to become more involved. It occurs to me i left a very vague inquiry for support and I think i can better frame it as follows. What have you found most helpful for your healing journeys since joining this community. Was it having a place to share your story? Finding others who could more personally understand you? Getting a better understanding of yourself as a survivor by connecting to other survivors? Or something else. Please share what has been important for you as you have become more involved in the community as I really don't know where to start to become more involved myself. Thank you.
 
I've been super busy and haven't had much time to do anything on the site lately. I've also been thinking about what would be helpful for me here. One thing I've always struggled with is understanding how I survived and kept going when it happened. The abuse itself was very damaging physically and I genuinely don't understand how I had the strength to pretend things were ok and just keep going. At times I have even questioned my own memories because of that. I feel like I want to share the details of the abuse and get some perspective on that and I suspect there is probably a designated forum for those kinds of posts and I assume there are also guidelines or at least suggestions about how to make such a post. Can anyone please give me some pointers on that. Thanks.
 
Survivor Stories is where you want to look. The guidelines are there too and it is a fully moderated forum with no outside posts allowed. Meaning that any story you submit is reviewed and may be edited before the Mods allow it to go on the site. This allows trigger warnings, etc. AND it stands as your truth without being lost in comments.
 
I am looking for other human trafficking survivors. New on here.Finding it a bit overwhelming.Any suggestions?Thanks
 
Hello Vishireth -

I applaud your courage to seek to help yourself and to help others as well who need professional experienced therapists familiar with male sexual abuse.

I am a newcomer and am very grateful that this site exists. I hope you find healing and peace here. Welcome.

David
 
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