Looking for support
I'm new to the site and came here to continue my own healing. The abuse I suffered as a kid causes a lot of damage and it took about two decades before I was finally able to get the right kind of help and support to finally start to truly heal. An important part of that journey for me has come in the form of helping others. As a licensed mental health professional with specialized trauma training I have had the honor to help others who had identified as victims receive the support they need to realize their own strength and resilience to empower themselves and claim their survivor status. We are a truly remarkable bunch of folks. In any event while that has been instrumental to my healing it has also occurred behind the professional veil. I hope to one day run a male survivor support group but don't feel it is right for me to do that until I have had more open and mutually supportive interactions with other male survivors. I would like to say I'm doing that electronically and anonymously purely because there are no in person groups within a six hour drive. While that fact is true I also know the bigger issue is that I'm not ready for that and this feels safer. It is almost impossible to physically talk about the abuse even with my wonderful wife who is caring and patient and supportive. It takes every bit of energy I can muster to try to force the words out probably because of how strong of an impression was left in me never to tell a soul. But I can write about the torture I went through and that is making it easier to talk. So I'm hoping this site can support my ongoing healing by connecting with others and helping me prepare to serve other male survivors in a horribly underserved area. One artifact of my abuse is that it forced me to be so unwavering self reliant that I am horrible at seeking and accepting support. So for my first baby step I am seeking advice or guidance on how I can learn to navigate this site and become a part of the community. As an aside or maybe a gift to others I just want to apologize that there are so many mental health professionals who don't know how to effectively help male survivors. I have worked with some as a client and others as a colleague. Fortunately more and more professionals are getting better training on this so if you have unsatisfactory experiences with therapy please don't give up on the process but please do make sure you find the right fit. Ask your therapist what kind of training they have for trauma informed care or in they use evidence based trauma centered treatments. If they give you a weird look and a BS response don't feel bad about finding another provider. And if you are lucky enough to have found the right provider please let others know. Shining the light you have found can help guide others out of the darkness. Thank you for giving me a place to share this and to join in our journeys.
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