Lonliness

[fishpond]

Hello.....the first time i read some of the things here I began to feel tears. I've been seeing a therapist for two years, and I now see how the abuse I experienced as a teenager affects my relationships, my sexuality, and the way I feel most of the time. I guess this is good, but the lonliness is so damn painful. It is so strange to want intimacy and closeness and at the same time to be so afraid of it. I can look back through my life and see how I have intentionally isolated myself. Thankfully, I still have my kids and a wonderful woman to call my wife. But the pain of the lonliness and fear of close relationships is so intense. I suppose it gets better, but right now it does not seem like it ever will.

 

[Ivanhoe]

Hey, Dave, welcome to malesurvivor.whatever.
As the saying goes, "sorry for the reasons that you're here, but glad you have joined the most fantastic bunch of guys I have ever met."

Ya, feeling alone in the crowd, a very familiar feeling from a lot of guys, here. Hopefully, you'll never feel that way again because of coming here.

Vent some, meet some, give us the full story, or just a part, it's up to you. But I can tell you, that you're going to get a response like you've never gotten before.

These guys are truly loving men. Be prepared, these guys tell it like it is and respond with the most loving comments I've ever heard from any other men with whom I've been associated.
Welcome, Dave, make yourself at home,

David

 

[ScottyTodd]

Dave - Welcome! You mentioned tears; well finding out there are others who feel, think, act and suffer as you do IS MOVING!! Emotional!! especially if we have felt like "the odd guy out". You are not alone - there are other brothers who are traveling the same road you are. I'm glad you are here among us!! Joining us! Posting!

This is a great place to be open about your struggles. You mentioned loneliness! So often our perps kept us locked in a "secret keeping" mode and we felt positively alone!! I hope you find you can get outside of lonely. Share and ask for what you need around here...most of us have found important recovery and survivor information you may need.

Good Luck! Welcome aboard!!

Howard

 

[Leosha]

Welcome Dave. I hope that you discover persons here at this site who can touch your soul, and show you how understanding and supportive people can be.

I am glad that you are not physically alone, in relationship. That you have wife and children. I hope that you are able to feel their love for you, and not withdraw from it so much. I know that it seems easier to pull away from people then to let them care about you.

I wish you good luck in your healing.

leosha

 

[outis]

Dave,

You weren't alone. None of us were. We just didn't know where to find one another.

Now that you have found us, help us. Read what we write, write what you feel. It's not easy, hell it's intensely difficult at times, but it does seem to help me to participate here. The old sense of isolation is fading. The feeling that there are others who know what I mean when I write is growing. Maybe that's not "recovery" but it sure feels better than whatever I had before.

Thanks for stepping up to the plate and posting. It tooks me months of lurking to register and still more weeks to post. I admire everyone who makes that first post.

Thanks,

Joe