Longing to recover myself

[GMan]

How I wish to feel, to experience love, to connect with myself an others. To experience the joy of true fellowship unencumbered by anxiety, fear, and preoccupation. To just be able to relax, and be okay with me, and with others. To get out of my head. To stay in my heart, and know love. This seems like such a long and arduous journey. The burden seems so heavy. The steps, so many. The thirst so great.

Occasionally, oh so rarely, it happens. I find me. The nectar of that moment frees me and takes me to the heights of the heavens. Then, all is good. People are beautiful then. I trust, for a moment. Music is engaging and rapturous.

I live for these moments. All the rest is tax I must pay to go through those gates. It is worth it.

 

[Magellan]

Wow.

I feel exactly the same way. And have felt this way for decades.

I hope you find it. I'm still looking.

 

[GMan]

Thanks Magellan. The depth and frequency of my experiences have increased but they are still far too infrequent. I can safely say, they have always been in the context of my relationships with people, which is the very thing that I tend to avoid.

 

[Ceremony]

too much pain