Hi Scott, this may be a lot but things are on my mind.
I know from experience and from others who have mentioned it, that it is still really hard to find local support or even access to qualified care. It really shocked me because I thought things had changed. Instead, I've found none of the crisis centers local to me are equipped to deal with men, only women and children. I'm talking about the whole state as far as I can tell. Even as professionals move into a "trauma informed care" model there is no consideration for the trauma itself. I've been abused by systems repeatedly as a result. I don't know what all resources MaleSurvivor has now but there have been many times I've needed a credentialed advocate to at the very least reiterate how damaging some "care" is to someone such as one of us. I can give examples later of personal experiences.
I go to therapy, many therapists and psychologists are good, but for the most part childhood sexual abuse of men or assault on men as adults is not something anyone specializes in. They deem men's issues as drug, alcohol, or sex addiction, maybe anger, etc., and being sexually abused or assaulted is merely identified as an underlying issue. All "trauma" is thrown in as being the same, and many times "evidence based therapies" are the go tos without any real understanding of the trauma itself. Being sexually abused IS my main issue as a man, and I've had no map to follow. When a boy turns 18 it seems they sort of wander off getting through life the best they can muster, eventually becoming someone like the rest of us or those who take things to their grave. Men assaulted as adults have nowhere to really turn either.
Though I spent years on the site before, I have never made it to a WOR. I had little ability to go back then anyway, both physically and financially, but I thought of it a lot. Some guys have already heard some of my thoughts, like I've hoped that someday a team of guys could go possibly travel state to state for maybe some more affordable and accessible mini-like retreats. Even if I am able to go to a WOR (maybe in the next year), it would be nice to have a follow up care kind of thing to look forward to. I just really, personally need something more than online interaction.
I don't know how realistic any of these things might be, and I know I still come off as being very "messed up", which I am in some ways. I'm a hurting guy. That's not all of me, I am doing a lot currently in hopes to serve all of us hurting guys in the future despite my personal battles. If MS or 1in6 develops training, I'd eventually like to talk to someone about something extensive. No matter how much I'm suffering, I care about other guys too.
Hope I didn't sound nuts.
