Living by emotion
I hadn't planned on posting again this quickly, but I need to get something out.
I took the last 36 hours to try and examine why I get so emotionally involved in everything. I still don't have the answers, but I think I realized a couple of things.
I get involved where I shouldn't sometimes. Because I think that if I can help, it makes me worthwhile. And yet, it blows up in my face way too often. I get hurt, or someone else gets hurt. Or I wonder what people think of me because I may have gone too far. And sometimes I do or say something without thinking in advance of the consequences.
I've offended people here without meaning to. And I questioned myself on whether I should even stay because I feel like some people are saying "What an idiot!". Maybe some are. Maybe they aren't.
I'm tired of worrying about everything I do, micro-analyzing it to death.
Someone had the courage to nail me on something. It hurt like hell but he was right. And I don't have to wonder about what he thinks. He told me. I wish everyone else would if they think I act inappropriately. That doesn't mean that just because someone thinks I'm wrong means that I am.
I am here for the same reason all of us are. Because I need help. And I am going to screw up. I don't want to fear having to say or post something because it's not "correct". But that's my problem.
I am damn well determined to get victory over all of this crap. I've lived for over forty years with being afraid. It's time that ends.
I'll stop here.
Peace,
Marc
I took the last 36 hours to try and examine why I get so emotionally involved in everything. I still don't have the answers, but I think I realized a couple of things.
I get involved where I shouldn't sometimes. Because I think that if I can help, it makes me worthwhile. And yet, it blows up in my face way too often. I get hurt, or someone else gets hurt. Or I wonder what people think of me because I may have gone too far. And sometimes I do or say something without thinking in advance of the consequences.
I've offended people here without meaning to. And I questioned myself on whether I should even stay because I feel like some people are saying "What an idiot!". Maybe some are. Maybe they aren't.
I'm tired of worrying about everything I do, micro-analyzing it to death.
Someone had the courage to nail me on something. It hurt like hell but he was right. And I don't have to wonder about what he thinks. He told me. I wish everyone else would if they think I act inappropriately. That doesn't mean that just because someone thinks I'm wrong means that I am.
I am here for the same reason all of us are. Because I need help. And I am going to screw up. I don't want to fear having to say or post something because it's not "correct". But that's my problem.
I am damn well determined to get victory over all of this crap. I've lived for over forty years with being afraid. It's time that ends.
I'll stop here.
Peace,
Marc