Living by emotion

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Living by emotion

I hadn't planned on posting again this quickly, but I need to get something out.

I took the last 36 hours to try and examine why I get so emotionally involved in everything. I still don't have the answers, but I think I realized a couple of things.

I get involved where I shouldn't sometimes. Because I think that if I can help, it makes me worthwhile. And yet, it blows up in my face way too often. I get hurt, or someone else gets hurt. Or I wonder what people think of me because I may have gone too far. And sometimes I do or say something without thinking in advance of the consequences.

I've offended people here without meaning to. And I questioned myself on whether I should even stay because I feel like some people are saying "What an idiot!". Maybe some are. Maybe they aren't.

I'm tired of worrying about everything I do, micro-analyzing it to death.

Someone had the courage to nail me on something. It hurt like hell but he was right. And I don't have to wonder about what he thinks. He told me. I wish everyone else would if they think I act inappropriately. That doesn't mean that just because someone thinks I'm wrong means that I am.

I am here for the same reason all of us are. Because I need help. And I am going to screw up. I don't want to fear having to say or post something because it's not "correct". But that's my problem.

I am damn well determined to get victory over all of this crap. I've lived for over forty years with being afraid. It's time that ends.

I'll stop here.

Peace,

Marc
 
:)
 
Marc,
I am here to support you, and will always tell you when I think you have crossed the line. The beginning of recovery is a very difficult time for all of us (including me right now, I still consider myself in early recovery) and yes you will make some mistakes but I'll be here to help you any way I can.

Jason
 
Marc it aint easy that is for sure. But you are making headway and I can see that for a fact.

The biggest thing for you to remember from now on is that you are a part of us and we are all on the same team.

Be gentle with yourself brother.
 
Marc,
I am thankful you are here. I have learned to not dissect everything I do or say, as it was driving me insane. You are a part of the family, and I am glad to know you. And, by the way, I accept you for who you are. No matter what, you are a brother. Black, white, red, straight, gay, bi, it doesn't matter. You have a good heart and a caring mind, and that is what's most important. You are just you, and I accept you!
Casey
 
Marc,

We are learning about ourselves AND each other here. And it will take time, and probably, (if you're like me anyway!) some errors in judgement. Different people here are of different cultures, ways of thought, ages, education levels, etc. Different people here have different 'triggers'. We can't go around here walking on our toes all the time. We just need to try to make sure that we aren't walking on the toes of others as well. It is just a matter of treating others with courtesy and respect, which you already are doing. There will be misunderstandings at times. But they will be gotten over if both people are accepting and receptive to the other.

No one should have to 'watch' what they say and how they say it at all times (again, with exception of just following rules of common courtesy). As we learn each other better and form relationships, there is less 'watching' and more openness with each other.

Take care, and welcome back.

leosha
 
Marc,

I don't think we should have to worry about insulting anyone. Unless you purposely go out to do so, and I think we can pick up on that pretty quickly, it's understood that we are "blowing off steam" as it were, and will be accepted as such.

To wit, you called me on something that I didn't know I did. I didn't lose my mind over it and it hasn't affected my views toward you :) or anyone else.

There are a very few in my life that I wouldn't give the time of day to because they have been deliberately hurtful. everyone else? Eh! I have a thick skin and I forgive easily.

Peace and love,

Scot
 
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