List of symptoms and indicators of CSA

[traveler]

I found this online and thought it was worth sharing. one of the statements seemed significant - that "the current body of literature seems to lack an exhaustive list." I hope you find it helpful.
- Lee

SOURCE: https://www.orthodoxwriter.com/2012/07/indications-childhood-sexual-abuse.html
The QUOTE begins here and goes to the end of this post:

"When a child finally realizes that what has happened to him or her is horribly wrong, or when repressed memories begin to surface later in life, the former child-victim can suffer a plethora of consequences unknown to the victims of any other type of abuse. There are many lists of such consequences (symptoms) available online and in books, but the current body of literature seems to lack an exhaustive list. The purpose of the present text is to combine findings from as many credible sources as possible for the sake of compiling that much-needed, exhaustive list.

Below, you will find a list of symptoms that are common among people who have experienced sexual abuse in childhood. Not everyone experiences all of these symptoms, and it is highly possible that there are other symptoms that ought to be included in this list; it will continue to be updated as new information arises.

If you know that you have been a victim of childhood sexual abuse, try not to be afraid as you look at the list below. It can be very difficult to see so many of your symptoms in one place, but it can also provide validation of what you are feeling and/or additional insight into your situation. Try to find comfort in knowing that you are not crazy for having experienced so many mysterious "problems" that may have seemed completely unrelated until now. Others have experienced them too, and they understand what you are going through. You are not alone....

---

Major indicators of childhood sexual abuse:
(present in adults and children)

Physical
Severe gag-reflex, even with nothing in or near mouth
Frequent or chronic severe nausea
Breathing and heart problems
Sleeping disorders (insomnia, hypersomnia, night terrors, constant nightmares)
Extreme startle-response (when touched, upon sudden loud noise, when someone enters room, etc.)
Chronic, unexplained pelvic pain
Chronic, unexplained gastro-intestinal problems
Chronic, unexplained headaches, backaches, and skeletal pain
Chronic, unexplained respiratory problems
In women: pseudocyesis (false pregnancy)
Addiction
Reluctance to follow good healthcare practices

Psychological
Dissociation (unresponsiveness, detachment, confusion, staring blankly, unexplained crying, feeling of separation from reality, feeling of "floating," out-of-body experience, feeling that everyone but self is experiencing reality, or vice versa)
Feeling of choking or suffocating
Unexplained fear of water touching face (pool, shower, etc.)
Feeling dirty, disgusting, and/or damaged
Unexplained feelings of shame
Fear of extreme loss of control; extreme need to feel in control
Feelings of extreme vulnerability
Constant anticipation of pain
Suicidal ideation
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or related symptoms: e.g., cycling back and forth from denial and repression to re-experiencing of traumatic event/s
Anticipation of early death
Panic disorder, panic attacks, and/or unmanageable anxiety
Extreme sensitivity and/or irritability
Difficulty regulating/processing emotions (emotional outbursts, disproportionate displays of anger, etc.)
Lack of confidence
Feelings of worthlessness and/or lack of self-respect
Intense fear of being wrong

Cognitive
Difficulty understanding what people mean
Difficulty answering simple questions (fear of misunderstanding and being tortured for "wrong answer")
Horrifying flashbacks (may be hazy or nonspecific)
Difficulty concentrating and/or learning

Behavioral
Self-injuring or self-mutilating behaviors (cutting, poking with pins, etc.)
Disordered eating (may or may not be related to body image disorders)
Suicidal gestures or attempts
Extreme responsibility and safety-consciousness, or extreme tendency to take risks
Criminal activity
Wearing excessively loose-fitting clothing, or more layers of clothing than weather requires

Social/Relational
Unreasonable fear of abandonment
Extreme need to please others, or refusal to "connect" with others at all
Intense fear of intimacy, or constant quest for intimacy
Social withdrawal or difficulty relating to others
Seeks out or stays in abusive relationships, or avoids relationships altogether
History of ambivalent feelings toward relational partners
Little confidence, or else total trust, in others (unreasonable in both instances)
Fear of loss of control in relationships; intense need to be in control
Difficulty expressing feelings and/or intense desire to self-disclose
Problems with social boundaries
Excessive feelings of gratitude for kind but small gestures from others
Too much eye-contact, or complete avoidance of eye-contact
In parents: repulsed by caring for baby in certain ways (nursing, taking temperature rectally, uncomfortable with child's nudity)

Sexual
Heightened sexual interest, or no interest at all
Promiscuity and/or prostitution
Recklessness
Compulsions
Sexual dysfunction
Unexplained pain
Flashbacks of abuse
Fantasies of raping or abusing others
Fantasies of being raped, tortured, tied, etc.
Exhibitionist-tendencies, or extreme fear of being seen nude

In medical situations
(Beyond typical person's fears of pain, needles, etc.)
Fear of medical and dental examinations, in general
Fear of having to lie down on exam-table or in dentist's chair
Extreme fear of being nude
Spontaneous tears when touched (silent crying, no sobs)
Irregular breathing during exam or treatment
Fear of aggression from doctors, nurses, medical professionals
Fear of or inability to tolerate having objects put in mouth (dentist's hands, tools, rubber dams, impression trays, x-ray bitewings, etc.)
Fear of dentist's hand over mouth or nose
Fear of suffocating
Fear of being unable to swallow
Unusually elevated levels of epinephrine and norepinephrine, which can interfere with effectiveness of certain anesthetics

Additional indicators specific to children:
Trouble walking or sitting
Pregnancy, STDs, or STD-like symptoms (itching, pain, foul odors, etc.) prior to age 14
Unexplained pain when using bathroom
Unexplained neurological damage
Undressing other children, or interest in watching them undress
Unwilling to undress in front of others when situationally appropriate (doctor, gym class, sports team, etc.)
Inappropriate touching of other children
Sexual aggression toward other children
Acting out sexual scenarios with pets or toys
Sexual advances or invitations toward adults
Unwilling to participate in physical activities (play games like Twister, activities in gym class, etc.), or else extreme interest in them
Sexual knowledge inappropriate for age (evidenced by interest, explicit language, and/or references to sexual scenarios using childlike language)
Seductive behavior in general
Promiscuity in pre-teen and teenage years (may include prostitution)
Acceptance of sexual victimization by others
Enuresis (involuntary passage of urine by a toilet-trained child; includes bed-wetting)
Encopresis (involuntary passage of stool by a toilet-trained child)
Sudden regression to infantile behaviors (rocking, throwing tantrums, sucking thumb, etc.), or sudden but false sense of maturity (taking care of parents, other children, etc.)
Sudden refusal to be left alone
Excessive fears, in general
Sudden fear of and intense effort to avoid certain person (abuser) and/or certain place (location of abuse), etc.
Sudden fear of people of same gender/race/profession/etc. as abuser
Grades slipping
New behavior problems (especially fire-setting, cruelty to animals)
Running away
Truancy from school
Social problems
Behavioral extremes (excessively compliant or rebellious, excessively passive or aggressive, etc.)
Parent or family that is secretive, socially isolated, and/or unduly restrictive
Any mention of or implication toward sexual abuse"

 

[Nothing Man]

How terribly sad. I found so many items on that list that directly relate to me. There are others not listed -- for example, I hate it when people hover over or around me, and I hate anything in my face. (It is hard to wear glasses sometimes).

One of the takeaways I got from this list is how little control we actually have over ourselves as a result of sexual trauma. We find ourselves acting aggressively, or not at all towards others, we find ourselves highly sexualized or highly non-sexual; the extremes of behavior which probably are much more rare among those who have never been sexually assaulted.

So little control, so much we wish we could change and yet we find ourselves acting out in so many different ways. Just one more thing our abusers took from us. One of many.

 

[tommyb]

(nothing man)

 

[traveler]

I found so many items on that list that directly relate to me.

Yes - when I first joined MS, I read a similar list that someone had posted - but not as long. I was appalled at how many of the items corresponded to my experience. I was still in the stage of thinking that maybe I was exaggerating and that what happened to me was not abuse. seeing the magnitude of the after-effects confirmed and validated my feelings and helped make me sure.

In this list, I had some degree of nearly half to more than half in every category. in the psychological list, I had all but three - and added another - body dysmorphia.

if parents, teachers, friends, partners, and the medical professionals were more aware of this, many more survivors could be helped.

Lee

 

[txb]

This is kind of depressing to read. I have a lot of the things on the list. On the other hand, I HAD a lot more things on the list at one point, so reading through it helped to show me how much I have actually improved. I think sometimes it feels like you are making no progress, but obviously I am.

I have read a lot of this stuff before, and I always wondered how CSA could cause heart and breathing problems. Pretty sure I also read that it could cause vision problems too. I had/have a lot of headaches and stomach problems, but those seem explainable. Stress and tension can cause headaches and stress also messes with your digestion, but your heart and breathing seem like they work without any input from you. So I always wondered how CSA could affect them. I had some self-inflicted heart problems at one point, but I don't think that's what they're talking about.

I've read quite a lot about bipolar disorder. I have a genetic link, I think it's like a 1 in 10 chance of having it, but apparently trauma - like CSA often unlocks the genetic link. I don't know if other mental disorders are like this, but I'm blaming my bipolar on being abused.

if parents, teachers, friends, partners, and the medical professionals were more aware of this, many more survivors could be helped.

Maybe you could send the list to the woman that you mentioned before in your post about her bad presentation? She seemed educatable? And she is in a position to get the information to others. I remember reading somewhere about a letter that had been sent to doctors here, telling them that people who have been abused can have long lasting health problems and suggesting that they ask people about it so they could help them better. Considering that you only get a 5 minute appointment with your GP I doubt they have time for that, but at least the information is out there.

 

[abused9]

More on that list pertains to me than I would have thought.
Wish it was different. Hate how I feel, hate myself. Sorry for being negative right now.

 

[KMCINVA]

I read through the list--realizing throughout life many of those symptoms were me. It made me sad to realize how much I missed out on life because of these fears, sense of worthlessness. Even today I have many of these feelings. For me the most disturbing has been the dissociation because it took me from me, to places I will never know, maybe to people I will never know. I guess I was protecting myself from the memories of the abuse and seeking something the abuser left me with. I still feel damaged and as abused9 says I hate myself. I was loving myself I thought but lately due to so many factors I hate myself. Why I think people reinforce this sense, I am useless and worthless. It is hard to overcome.

Thank you for sharing Lee. It is a reminder of the damage one bastard can do to a child.

 

[manipulated]

Amazing how I had convinced myself for 40 plus years that he had not effected me...or that I wanted the special attention but it was ok and had no effect...and then the list reads like my history in so many ways.

Thanks for posting Traveler. Somehow it helps to see just how much "it" (and maybe ignoring/hiding "it" for so long) HAS effected me, my behaviour, my health, my life.

Manipulated

 

[Ughster36]

Word for word. I could of wrote the same thing you did.

 

[traveler]

recently someone asked if some of his symptoms and ailments might be related to CSA. at the time, i couldn't find this thread, but now that i have run across it again, i am bumping it up so that it can be seen. hope it is helpful.

Lee

 

[smichael]

Have never seen a list like that and made me lightheaded reading it.

 

[Ceremony]

Hi smichael and all who have read that list, I had to stop, I don't want to read further than I did. It does something to me, it's physical, I trigger.

I've been very calm, with few flashback (very short, but intense) events. My ideations can be visceral, but I fight back very hard, like I'm in a real physical altercation. I get exhausted. It's survival Fight mode to me. I want so badly to smash back, and be brutal where I was not given love, compassion, and safety, my response as yet is unhealthy. I see I'm better, I'm truly better, but the mind is a complex organ, and its rewiring to healing takes inordinate effort and time. I aspire, but know I've far to go.

Without you guys, without crying for my shame of failure to be worthy, and the grief of a lifetime lost, I couldn't do this.

Blessing brothers, I need hugs.

 

[Echoes]

I also couldn't read until the end. Can something be too true to handle?

 

[traveler]

safe group hug:

(((((smichael, Ceremony, Echoes)))))

Lee

 

[Older1]

A great check-list.
I had no trouble finding a few that relate to me, such as:
Extreme startle-response; Some dissociation;feeling vulnerable; difficulty controlling emotions; Difficulty understanding what people mean; Suicidal gestures when younger; Need to please others; Remain in abusive relationships; Some heightened sexual interest / acting out; Shyness regarding nudity; Poor performance at school.

 

[Jer]

wow, this list is certainly relatable. I can see myself in so many of them.

 

[smc1972]

I regret the number of those I can relate to and never knew it was tied to my past. Each one I saw that I went thats me, my stomach just dropped.

 

[tbkkfile]

So many people I remember from long ago on this thread, I almost expected to see still here and so many symptoms that I can recognize