Life in shambles at start of 2006

Life in shambles at start of 2006
A

andrew76

Registrant
Lately have found myself fighting more with my wife who is pregnant supposedly with my baby which is due in march but I am ready to end it all and just say the hell with everything feel like not worth fighting for doing less timing talking and more time fighting am ready to walk away am in the process of filing for a divorce can't stand the abuse any longer from her and have enough on my plate to contend with do not want to add anything more and can't take too much more.

The holidays suck for me and can't handle them nor do I want to deal with them so I shove them in the back of my mind.Family to me is no-existent feel like many people turning on me since making a decision about my failing marriage and my failing life.Am here in 2006 for what someone please remind me why it is that we abuse survivors stick around and see things to the end because I feel like i am at the end of my rope and it is unravelling fast.
 
I'm not sure I can say all the reasons why it is worth hanging on, but I want to assure you that it is.

So the baby is supposed to be yours? You don't sound convinced. I'm sorry about that, cause its got to be hard, BUT it sounds like there is a possibility the baby is yours.

I think that's a reason to hang on. A BIG one.

Do I understand you're in the process of getting a divorce? Man, that's tough, too. Whose helping you through that?

Don't let your wife abuse you, but some ways of fighting are more effective than others, you know. Whenever I raise my voice, it doesn't matter what I say or how right I am, my wife just doesn't hear me. After or during an arguement she'll cry and ask me to promise never to yell again.

IT's wierd because I don't always feel like I've been yelling. And, although she doesn't raise her voice she says cruel, spiteful, and hurtful things just for the sake of hurting. I mean its bad. So its hard for me not to get emotional and loud in a fight like that. The thing is, my words are always controlled and I think fair, but she can't hear them for the volume.

Basically, if I want to get anywhere, I have to fight more fairly than she does. I have to stay calm and wait out the ugly words. I'm not good at it, and I don't like having to be more tolerant than she is, but its in my own interest.

In any case, fights hurt a lot and can make you wonder if its all worthwhile. I think it is.
 
Hmmm, holidays and pregnant wives, hormones out of whack ..... not great. Been thru both a few times and can't say it's easy. Go easy on yourselves my friend.
Remember the old adage, "this too shall pass"
Peace, Andrew
 
Andrew,

I am so sorry to see you are in such difficulty. When things pile up on me I try to stand back and try not to worry about everything at once.

Try to get some real support and deal with the biggest and most urgent issues first. And as (the other) Andrew says, be gentle with yourself. These crises don't define us and they don't last forever.

Much love,
Larry
 
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