Life--Abuse--Growing Up

Life--Abuse--Growing Up
O

one_day_at_a_time

Registrant
Dear Brothers,
Life is crazy. I often give thanks to God because my life is hard, but it could always be harder. It is by the Grace of God that I have made it thus far.

Why was I abused I dont know. SOmetimes I feel like I dont know who I am at all. I mean for real. I know I am young and maybe thats the reason why. It feels like everyone around me knows who they are but I dont know shit about who I am.

I used to get made fun of alot becasue alot of people thought I was gay. I feel like before I was a different person than I am now. I was weaker, intimidated easily, scared of sports (i always felt and still do feel like I am terrible at sports and i get small panic attacks whenever I get passed a ball in basketball), and basically the way I acted did not go well in a city area.

Today, I try to think Im a little stronger. But its strange. Its hard for me to escape this gay thing. Its like everytime I think that I am not acting gay, all of a sudden someone will say something about me seeming gay. I cant take it anymore. Its not like im trying to please people it is just that I dont understand why. Its a big punch to a already hurt male personna and it makes me feel so terrible and I hate it.

I hope that I will one day not care what people think at all. I hope that I will improve upon my confidence and my awareness of my own identity. I hope that God will grant me the mercy to be a balanced person.

Love to all my brothers in this struggle,
One Day
 
Hey, One Day,

You bring up a very common reaction to Childhood Sexual Abuse, Sexual Orientation Confusion. I can tell you that we have very normal reactions to some very abnomal things that were done to us and sexual orientation confusion is one of them.
I don't know if you have a good therapist in place to help you recover from these reactions but that would be the first thing that I would suggest you find.
The next thing would be to take it easy on yourself. Easier to say than to realize but it is a good thing to keep in your mind as you slug through these difficult times.
I am sorry that you have friends that make you uncomfortable. A lot of times these kinds of comments are said because the person saying them is having questions about their own sexual identity and they project their fear or doubts onto others.
You hang in there, keep posting, keep working through it all and it will get easier and your true feelings will come through for you.
I have submitted an article by my therapist about the Orientation thing...I'll see if I can get the folks to get it up on the board.
Courage, strength and peace, One,
David
 
Hey There,

You are syaing things that so very many of us feel, experience, live through! Try not to worry about the way others see you (yes, I know, easier said than done!). You speak of God a lot, live your life the way He would want. I will NEVER belive that God will hold against us what we have all been through, the cunfused thoughts and actions that result from our Abuse, our hateful or mean thoughts either.

We are all here for you, sir! We hope and pray that you find the peace you DESERVE!

God Bless

PEACE!

TeeJayUU
 
Hey One,

Not knowing who we really are is not limited to young people. But, in a way, seeking the answer to that question makes life exciting.

You are who you are and no one has a right to expect you to be different. I wonder about people who seem to need to place others in various kinds of boxes.

Try to enjoy life each day. What others say or think affects us some, but the more we can be happy to be who we are, the less these screwed up people can have an affect on us.

I wish you well. You will get plenty of support here. It is good to have you back with us again.

Bob
 
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