Letting Go


Letting Go

I think it's time to do something with you.
I don't know if I can.

They say that I should forgive you,
That you were probably a victim like me.
That you were acting out your horrors.
I cannot do that. Not yet.

I think I just need to walk away from you.
Say to myself "I'm done with you."
Give up the control you have on me.
But give up that, I give up on the good I felt.

Did you love me? You said you did.
I believed at first, and I felt normal.
Despite the fact that it wasn't normal.
I felt whole, loved, alive, accepted.

Do I have to give that up?
Accept that I was an outcast child?
Or was I an outcast still with you,
But that time choosing to be so.

Did I even choose what I chose?
I was so young, naive, I didn't know
What you gave me was so heavy.
Why did you do this to a child?

Forgiving means being okay with what happened.
I will never be "okay" with what you did,
But maybe today, it's time to reclaim the life
You robbed me of. You have no power anymore.

You have no power anymore.
And now, I think, it's time
To let go of you.



The Dean

Yes, let go of him and it.

More and more I think that there is something that seems like forgiveness that we can do for ourselves. I mean we do it so we can benefit. But, I don't think that it is forgiveness.I am not sure what it is. But it made me feel better when I finally did it.



Its okay (and probably healthy) to eventually let go of the anger. But you never have to forgive. That probably wouldn't be appropriate or healthy for you anyway.

The exception might be if your perp went through a treatment and healing process in which he acknowleged what he did to you and made amends. That is rare.

Many of these people are sociopaths and unable to empathize.

Empathy is what sets us apart. We are different than they.

Their victimhood, no matter how horrific it might be, only explains their victimization of others. It will never justify it.


The Dean

Right on Brett-- you capture the reality wonderfully well.