It has only been a 6 days since I have acknowledged what happened and how it shaped my life. I didn't realize how it robbed me of self discovery of my own sexual identity while making me question it every few weeks. I didn't know why when I felt shame of a hangover I felt like I was gay. It wasn't me shifting from being straight to gay it was me feeling shame and depression that wanted me to go back to reliving the trauma I had once experienced. I didn't know this. It has been 5 days since I have had a drink. I moved forward with finding and talking to a Therapist and have a session in just under 2 weeks from now. I want to keep this progress going. I want to move forward. I do not want to live my life in shame and regret anymore. I will not panic before those 2 weeks and run. I have to follow through!