Leaving Neverland
I think I have a Trucker, too - the one who likes to swat my wife's behind! She doesn't care for it, mostly just slightly annoyed, but "he" still does it occasionally... just to get a ride out of her!
How did you rebuild with your mam ? I can see mine was manipulated by my abusers were just struggling to come through it togetherI agree with what you have said, Dave. One of the masterful things about the film is that it is not a simple situation. The victims are not saints, the abuser is not completely evil, and the moms are fallible. We like our stories tidy and unambiguous, but every person has good and bad in them. One of the big problems for victims speaking out is that their lives are held under a magnifying glass and the imperfections that are inevitably revealed are used to discredit them as legitimate victims. It is also true for the mothers. We impugn them for their ambitions - the dreams they have for themselves and for their sons. We act as if they were not victims themselves, even though Jackson was able to play upon their character flaws to his advantage.
One of the interesting things in my own journey was finding forgiveness for my mom who - like Wade and Jimmy's moms - failed to protect me from my abuser. Like their moms, mine was schmoozed by my abuser into handing over the keys to me. Looking back, all of our moms - Wade's, Jimmy's, and even mine - were groomed as much as we were. Understanding that my mom was in her own way a victim of the same manipulation - albeit nonsexual - that ensnared me sexually with this man was a huge piece that allowed me to forgive her.
My mom has been gone over two years. But regaining my relationship with her as a loving son has been my greatest victory in my healing journey. My abuser crafted her into an enabler to his aims and in so doing wedged us apart. Forgiving my mom was empowering. I repaired the damage he caused by doing so, rather than just living with it, cursing it to my grave. Reclaiming my mom undid the rift he built between us - and in so doing erased a big part of his lasting legacy in my life.
they may start with a small 'Easter egg,' a comment or line dropped unconsciously to gauge the reaction of the listener. The reaction of the listener is EVERYTHING and decides whether there is progress or regression.
memories may be repressed for years, even decades, but the body remembers.Survivors do not forget what happened,
Exactly, the body keeps score.memories may be repressed for years, even decades, but the body remembers.
* It's not black and white/ it's not good and evil, yes the behavior is evil at it's core but the fact that the 'abuser' may have redeeming qualities does not make him/her either all good or all bad or offer proof to whether or not he/she 'could have ' done it. Humans seem to struggle with this ambivalence and feel a deep need to pick sides. The very sad irony is that powerful people that abuse this trust often have many followers that decide, based on this ambivalence, that the victim is the abuser just because they are challenging their world view by the very accusation that such a 'wonderful' person could have perpetrated such evil. (The simple proof is that in cases where the abuser has little social standing- then everyone 'trusts' the child victim)
Thank you C. E. - great minds....One of the masterful things about the film is that it is not a simple situation. The victims are not saints, the abuser is not completely evil, and the moms are fallible. We like our stories tidy and unambiguous, but every person has good and bad in them.
Glad you're here, more power to you!It was 2 years ago today when I watched this for the first time. It changed my life. It showed me that this group existed! It inspired me to get help.